I was given a guest spot at The Comedy Village last Friday night. Its the new room run by PJ and Duncan J at the former Boston Comedy Club. I was feeling horrible all day. I was edgy and felt like a car that was idling too fast. I had little or no focus and felt like I was on the verge of tears....worst of all, I had no idea what was bothering me. Not the best place to be in to perform. I have learned that you MUST go on no matter how you are feeling. Happy, sad, whatever. For no other reason than, knowing you can perform under such conditions. What will happen if I get a big break one day and just my luck..................I'm not in just the right emotional space. So, no matter how I am feeling and at my age with all my hormones flying everywhere, the show must go on.
I arrived at the Village, wow I see a parking space right on the corner. I just turn and pull in. Then a car backs up and puts its window down and the driver says "Fuck you Cunt.....I had this space. Didn't you see me Bitch.???" I say "Sorry no I didn't see you"(there are only 10 more spaces free on the same street since its only 6:40.) "I will move". He didn't have his reverse lights or his directional on.....how was I to know? " Dad" says his 9 or so year old son "she said she's sorry she's gonna move,,,, leave her alone. " I pull out of the spot go 2 cars up and park. Welcome to NYC.
I ran over to a club around the corner to meet a comic from NJ who was doing the bringer there. He said he might need a few people to meet his quota. I had to eat dinner anyway and if I could help out another comic all the better. I warned him and another comic I know from NJ who was to be on the same show to time their sets. The last time I did a show at this place I brought 5 people and got the light at 3 min's. I didn't have my timer so I had no proof. I have done the set 100 times and I know how long it takes.... I was robbed. I am sorry its just wrong. I still am furious about this. They over book the shows or throw up friends and then fuck the comics who bring in the audience. I also resent the fairytale that industry is going to be there.......and Santa too. Sure enough one of my pals goes up with his I Pod recorder and tapes his set....when he gets off it says 3mins 39 seconds. They lit him at 2 and a half minutes. I told him to show it to the guy running the room his recorder... I still don't know what happened.
Off to my show. The comic I just went to see came with me to the Comedy Village. I take a seat up in the back...... the room looks nicer than when it was Boston. Duncan warms them up. In the front row by the stage are 2 gay guys on a first date. It is established that they met online in a chat room. One is wearing a suit 3 sizes to big and the other is wearing jeans and a dirty shit. Odd. The first 4 comics talk to them but lightly. I decide I need to stand out in this room. I need to be edgy and tough. I want to establish that I am not the mom who stays home and makes a pot roast. So I get up on stage and say something like "So you met in a chat room?" (they just said it one comic ago) to which they say "No." (strike one) I go " so how did you meet" they say "yahoo personals". So I say, " It is always awkward on a first date till you get that first kiss out of the way" "Have you two kissed yet?" They reply "No". I suggest that they should kiss. The guy in jeans says he will kiss me. "No Thanks" (strike two) so I say "Just kiss him ......ITS NOT LIKE YOUR NOT GONNA BLOW HIM LATER." .....................................nothing..................................................no laughs................................................no crickets.............................................maybe deaf mute crickets.............................all you could hear was the candle wax melting. I lash out at the audience and say.."hey if it was 2 girls you'd be cheering KISS HER KISS HER. ( strike three I'm fucked) So I switch gears and just go into my standard set. I get a few pity laughs.................. and scene.
Fortunately Duncan was taking a phone call out on the street and missed the entire thing. I go outside for a smoke, addictive little fuckers. He asks me how my set went and I was honest and told him that I have been known to have done better it wasn't my finest 5 minutes. I tell him my crowd work fiasco and he says, "No problem ....it will make you a better comic." Yes this is true BUT WILL THEY EVER BOOK EL STINKO AGAIN???? Just then PJ walks up and asks the same question. I am just as honest with him. He says .... "Well you'll just have to come back and do better next time wont you??" I thought that was decent. I like these men.
The pleasant thoughts float away and my desperation and depression start to marinate into a putrid stank. I had my chance an I blew it. I second guess my judgement. Why did I go into the crowd??? WHY?? WHY??? I need to go home and bake some cookies. I knew from the minute I opened my eyes it was going to be an off day.
I don't want to go home. I walk over to Sal's and he greets me and is happy to see me. I tell him about bombing and he says...."It happens" Yeah well ............I still hate it. He asks me if I am going to be around at 12 am. He and the gang are going to BBQ. I should come. So I say, "maybe"....If I don't lay down in traffic first. I sit at table on the street and order a drink. Let the chain smoking begin!!!!!!!!!!!!! I sit and review my set like it is the Zabruder Kennedy assassination film. I talk to the comics as they come and go. I commiserate and get a lot of..... Don't let it get you down, your funny, it happens, along with..... How long are you doing this???? Shit this one and that one all sucked in the beginning....consider yourself lucky and in good company. As each comic goes in to do their sets, I lighten up a bit. Duncan comes by from his club and says hi. He reassures me that he likes my stuff and to not worry. It happens. Katie has been barking for a while and I tell her to sit down and I get up and bark for her for a few minutes. When she goes in to wait to do her set I'm barking and still talking to Duncan. Sal comes out and asks me if I want to do a spot. I hesitate saying I couldn't bear to bomb again. He offers again. Duncan looks at me and says. " NEVER, ever turn down a spot." I thank Sal and he says in 15 minutes your on. I walk in and a comic who I respect who always does well is having a rough time. The sure thing jokes aren't landing right. The comic plows on. Its not going well. I ache inside. I hate comedy ... I hate these ass holes. I pray they don't hate me back. The comic walks off after their done head down. Seconds later its my turn. No time to get creative. I take my tried and true blue set out of my bag of tricks and start. I had barked a few of the tables into the room and there laughing. Maybe I don't hate you. I continue and its going good. The jokes are hitting and what???? some clapping... I Love the Clapping...more more ....That feels good don't stop. I hit my five minute spot and there is no light. I continue around the stretch to my second five and break a new NYC record. I do 14 minutes and they love me!!!! And I LOVE THEM!! I want to take them all home with me and feed them Pot roast.
Later that night I am talking to the comic who bombed. We discuss how random it is. The BBQ begins and I'm with my friends sitting on Mac Dougal street on a roof top deck.... living a dream bigger than I ever dreamed to have. I walked to my car and I see Duncan outside of his club. I tell him I had a great set. He tells me he heard. Some comic told him already. ",Good for you," he says. " Never turn down a set." I got into my car drove out to the Holland tunnel sat in traffic at 2 am for an hour and went home.
Comments are below
on and off days.....
Posted on 06/02/2005 at 09:14 AM by April Brucker
We all have off days and on days. I know I had a few off days. But you learn more from a bad set than a good set. But the good thing is, as someone told me, "you dust your butt off and keep on going." And that is exactly what you did, and what comedy is about. Good job and keep 'em laughing.
The set wasn't that bad.....
Posted on 06/02/2005 at 11:04 AM by Chris McDevitt
Let's face it.. Wrong audience. You had a coupla fags, me, some military midwesterners, and a mixed potpourri of minorities and comics. A set isn't a bomb just because they don't tickle your asshole with their tongue. If you reach one sneaky bastard made out of chocolate. The set is a success. As for the same sex couple in the front row, they were the absolute bottoms of the barrel (pun intended.) They didn't know how to dress, didn't know how to date, one was drinking wine the other was drinking bud light. They were the nerds of the gay community. So can we assume, NOT YOUR TARGET MARKET. Don't worry about disappointing them. I'm glad you had a good set at the Hole. Interesting place. I got the feeling from my two hours sitting there, that the bartender could get you just about anything you wanted, and I don't mean drinks.
Good enough for the invite...
Posted on 06/02/2005 at 11:30 AM by Al Wagner
The good news is that you are good, generous and appreciated enough to be offered a spot...and I don't think that happens without the being good part too...the bad news seems to be that no matter how successful you are on the whole that the audience dynamic still unhinges us when they don't laugh, play dumb or worse...and I am not speaking from the successful perspective, just passing on what I hear. As quickly as laughter can lube the Tin Man, silence condenses one hundred years of rust into a single hush. And sometimes the victory is in just getting out the next few words...but bombing well appears essential (oh how I wish it was as easy as just knowing that) considering it is unavoidable at some point for us all. I liked your ad lib...should have brought you the release of tension. And it sounds like going into the audience was the ripe idea and not poorly done, so like a smart stock that tanks you somehow have to accept that a good decision had unexpected consequences...I am a master of "if only" and self-sabotage critique, so again it is easier said than done...but you teach by sharing. !:@)
Rainbow at the end of the storm.....
Posted on 06/02/2005 at 12:21 PM by Adrienne
Glad you did well at Sals....See the first set was just your warm-up.....Duncan is right you should never give up a spot especially when you drive so far into the city....If I were you I would have been more upset with the guy in the parking spot. I would have never gotten out and would have told him to go f himself. Just like that, becuase his son was in the car. But if he wasnt I would have said the whole word...lol
all I can say
Posted on 06/02/2005 at 02:29 PM by Mark Anundson
is thank God I am not a woman.... kidding... not really...
Parking
Posted on 06/02/2005 at 03:11 PM by Shaun Eli
No, if Robin was pulling head-first into a space a guy was backing into, it was his space. But there was no call for cursing at her, he just should have explained that he was there first.
On my second date with my girlfriend I was backing into a space when a woman pulled right in behind me. We explained to her what she did was wrong and that we were already backing in when she pulled in. She wouldn't even roll down her window to talk about it, and wouldn't get out of the car. After trying to reason with her for five minutes we drove away and found a space at the other end of the block.
I won't say on a public forum what we did to her car when we got back from dinner, but my girlfriend was very supportive of my actions.
comedy village
Posted on 06/02/2005 at 03:24 PM by Sean O'Connor
comedy village seems majestical
I had no issue with moving
Posted on 06/03/2005 at 02:16 AM by Robin Fox
The space shouldn't have been mine. That's not the point here. I had no way of knowing he wasn't signaling nor was his reverse lights on. I cant read minds. Plus there were 10 spots clear in front of him. I cant get over the way he spoke in front of his child. Also thank you Al for your nice comments. And Mark you should thank god... it aint ez being a woman. In body, In life and in comedy. Sean I like the Comedy Village. I got no where with the Boston. They looked at me like my Mini Van was double parked and I must be late for car pool. At least these guys gave me a chance. I also like the open mic on Tues. I hit it and then do the Lantern and end at Sal's.
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