Saturday, December 13, 2008

ROBIN.... Plus One

Time Square last Weds. night had less people than I am used to at this time of the year. You could actually
walk down the sidewalk with out a Tsunami of people pulling you down the street in the opposite direction of where you were headed.
Less people in my mind means less audience.

Fortunately I have been getting booked steadily... although I have had a few shows get cancelled just a day or two before due to lack of ticket sales.... come to think of it.
One thing that I have found to be true is... If you have any talent and some funny in you....... hard work eventually does pay.
This past year was very difficult, filled with the emotional and physical traumas. I would have to get onstage and be funny when my world was anything but. I pushed through all of it , I had worked so hard to get where I found myself and didn't want to let myself down or loose the momentum I had struggled so hard for.

Often I felt trapped. In the past year I did 300 or more sets. I was beginning to see some progress. I had begun to headline in rooms outside of the city more and more. In clubs outside of NYC I moved from a MC /opener to feature. In the city I was getting spots on Friday and Saturday nights more often. I found during this time I didn't write as much as I had hoped to. Some how I still managed to get a new 20 over the year. My mantra as many of those of you who know me and read my blog is..... "All I can do is try to get funnier". That really is my goal. Some how I truly think that if you are very funny all the rest will find you. You still need head shots and a bio but it will find you.

So this past year I saw myself inching a few steps forward.... but am I getting funnier??? Because for me that is what I truly wish for and work for. Progress is a good indication.... I search for signs of progress.
How do you tell? How do you actually know if you are getting funnier? I looked for small signs of approval where I could. The Audience??? Maybe. I trust them but don't trust myself to gauge them and their liking of me.
Lets face it some audiences are easy. I often after a show would stand in the lobby like Sally Field in the movie Soapdish...and wait for the audience to leave the building.
Some times I would think .... I rocked and not ONE person would stop and say nice job. Sometimes an audience member would shake the hand of the comedian next to me and act like I was not there. Other times I would think that was a solid set ... not a kill but solid or that was just okay. Then after the show... Back in the Lobby I am getting people asking to take pictures of us together ..and wanting to buy me a drink. GO know?? I thought.... some audiences are just nicer than others. So the audience is only going to tell me so much. Since I was not getting standing ovations..... I would continue to look for other signs of getting funnier.

Bookers and Club managers etc. should be a place to look for signs that you are improving. Yes and no. Some Bookers and Managers make it easy to see you are improving. They tell you that they like your work and they reward you by booking you more or move you up from feature to headliner . The pay you more or at all. I have one place I perform ... they all hug me and tell me they love me.... I get booked 4 to 5 times a year. I also have my very best sets when I work for them. They send me nice emails and sometimes write on my social networking walls. Maybe I do so well in thier shows because I feel so much support . Some places I work will seldom give you any indication that they like you or that you are progressing. You rarely will hear anyone in management tell you .... Good Job. You find out if your doing a good job when they Book you and to them this should say it all. We book you we like you. So you look for other sighs that they like you. Is your name printed on the avails sheet this week or do you have to write your name in? Is your photo on the wall? etc Its like being married to a guy who doesn't tell you he loves you but his actions are how you know. He works 3 jobs ,he makes you tea when your sick. He is someone you can count on. I have had this year several Booker's and club managers move me up weekends from week nights. From Opener or MC and from feature to headliner, I have gotten emails after a show thanking me and telling me that I was good. I have been asked back again. These must be the signs of progress I tell myself.

Friends... you ask your friends , Am I getting any better at this? If they are a civilian.... they will look at you like your nuts and say some version of a polite lie. Not really , it just is if they say anything, I'm not going to believe them, they are my friends. Same goes for my husband. This question is like.... do these jeans make my ass look big??? What can he say? I cook his food and could poison him.

Comedy Friends... How pathetic do you sound to them asking???? Do you see any progress here am I funnier? They will most likely be of no help. Other comics they should know! So, if they say to you great set you can feel good about it. You think... Wow so and so liked my set. It feels fantastic but some times you hear a Comic say to another comic who has very little going for them( just say a sucky comic Robin) who just tanked and is clueless to the fact that he did just tank..."Good set "!!!

One night one of the guys who barks at a club ran up to me on the street. Robin Fox your my favorite!!! Of all the comedians in the club you are the best one. I see them all And you are the best ONE!!! I tell everyone come see this hysterical  NJ Woman Comedian she's amazing! I am thinking... Wow! really. I'm speechless, this is cool, he should know he sees them all! WOW! According to him I'm the Best ONE!!!!! Enough about me.... Who are you? How long have you been barking etc I ask? He tells me that for years he was an accountant.... then things got really bad and he had a massive break down...and he had to be hospitalised for a while. But now with medication he is doing fine and loves barking, barking is the best job in the world. So in other words.... All the voices that live in his head ....decided I'm the funniest!!! I'm awesome. wow. He is my favorite barker..... Because another motto I have is, If you like me.... I LOVE YOU!

Bookings.... In search of signs of progress... Is my calendar full? am I playing in better rooms??Am I making more money?? Am I funnier??    Am doing harder sets and doing well? Doing well when no one else is?? Being able to follow a high energy comic and still do well. Being able to do crowd work.... I'm liking it in fact. Some of the Top comics in the city actually talk to me now? Progress I see some progress. Hard work is paying off.

Sunday I did a show in Montclair for one of my favorite Booker's. One year ago I did a show for her my Late brother Craig saw me co headline and perform for the very first time. I had a very strong set. One of those sets where you know you impressed the room and yourself. Just solid. Then of course I pick it apart and say well if so and so was there maybe you wouldn't have done as well.. You were the best of a so so show. But then again... I made the show really good . Don't ask me, I'm biased. I have a hard time trusting my opinion. I fear I might be delusional. Look.... I have thought I looked great some nights and then someone will take a photo and a day later send it to me and I am mortified that I THOUGHT I LOOKED GOOD THAT NIGHT. So what else am I wrong about?? I'm gonna trust me....what do I know? At this show on Sunday I did 45 minutes. I had a really good set!! Really good. Solid. I zigged and zagged . As great as my set was the year before when my late brother saw me perform this was in another level of good. I felt them liking me. I handled a talker with panache and I just fell into that warm and wonderful place called the zone. I could do no wrong. Everything just clicked and worked. I had to wait for the laughter to subside to continue my set several times. I actually thought I heard rolling laughter. After the show the Booker hugged me. The bar keep wouldn't take my money and people were coming up to me to shake my hand and say nice things. Could it be? I know. I feel it. I AM FUNNIER THAN I WAS A YEAR AGO.
No one has to tell me. I get it. Hard work pays off. Good for me! Wow. With this god awful year .... I got funnier. I just know I have. I own it.
I still have far to go. I am not half as funny as I still wish I was. I want to make people laugh that uncontrollable laugh. The one that you almost forget why your laughing your laughing so long. The Tantric Laugh is what I call it. Or the Multiple orgasm of laughter... Where you feel like they are bypassing your thoughts and just are hitting the laughter button in your Brain. Sam Kinnison did that for me. Jessica Kirson and Rick Shapiro have done this too. Its an organic thing... It is somehow you learn how to trip the brain. I want to be able to do this. Once or twice I have seen people just loose it when I perform. They have laughed so hard they cant stop. I want to do this all the time. I don't know if I have this much talent. Then again. I love and adore many comics who never made me laugh like this. So who knows?


This past Weds night I had 2 spots. Later I was invited to Comix for there Holiday Party. It was the first time I had been invited and not a PLUS ONE. A Plus One is when someone else is invited and they take you. Progress. Several years ago Sal F. took me to a party. I was doing comedy about 2 years. I stood there trying to look like I fit in. I recognised everyone at this party. Bill Burr and Dave Attel, is that Wally Collins over there... I knew most of them no one knew me... It was an odd feeling and I stayed for a very short time feeling like a fraud for being there. Fast forward to 2 years ago when Adam brought me to the Carolines Party as his plus one. Once again there were a bunch of heavy hitters there. There were a smattering of newer comics and Big Guns Like Gilbert Godfrey and Tracy Morgan. It was exciting and as a 4 year comic at the time I was thrilled to just be there. I spoke to just a few people and still felt like I was sitting at the children's table. I did network and had a really great time. Still I felt like I was a voyeur and an outsider.

This year when I was invited to the party at Comix and could bring a Plus One. I invited my friend Tom. He met me at my home club where I was to do 2 shows.
I was feeling great... I was still feeling High from the great set I had on Sunday and I couldn't wait to hit the stage. I had a new joke that I had been opening with over the past 8 shows and it was hitting solid every time. I hit the stage and start the first part of the three part bit. The room was young which hasn't been a problem for me. There were two middle aged
couples one on the side and the other right in front. I do the opening line and silence. Hummmm.... I do the second part, a polite chuckle... Fuck!!!! were tanking here. I am in for a penny in for a pound and have to do the third part now sure they are not with me..... and Yes ..... a laugh from Tom and the two older couples and DEAFENING SILENCE. So its safe to say this plane is in trouble. I move on to some material that I know is solid and the plane is nose diving. I am in the BOMB ZONE. I decide that I'm doing this set for me. I stay happy and animated. I push .... the plane lifts a bit.. I pull a few short jokes with hard punches. I cant hear the silence is so loud. I embrace the bomb. I haven't bombed this hard in over 4 yrs. I haven't had a really shitty set in months. I was due. I was so due. I do a bit of crowd work and it hits soft and then a joke and it falls flat. I say goodnight and leave the stage with my ass in my hand. I have eaten it raw. It was a big hairy bear claw of a bomb. Best of all I was so sure I was going to get up there and show my friend Tom how amazing I am.... Well he saw me suck... I stood outside the room and wanted to see if the next comic would fair any better... he did well . So it was me. They hated me. Soon it was time for me to do the second set of the night and It went much better. I was afraid. I would give the set a B-. In all honesty I liked the way I did the bomb set better. Oh well it was one bad night... I was due. If I'm a pro I have to learn to eat it like a pro. It stung but It comes with the job. Thank God its the exception to the rule. I needed the humility of a bomb.

We left the club and drove down to Comix I got a spot across the street.NICE!! I walked to the door person and said my name. I'm Robin Fox and this is Tom my plus one.
I walked into the bar. It was so different from any party I had been at before. I knew most of the people there and amazingly most of them knew me too.
Some of the City headliners greeted me and we talked and laughed. I had some comics say some very nice things about my work to me. I had a few comics invite me to work with them. One comic a TV headliner asked me to be her guest at a club she was doing this weekend that I have wanted to get in at. You' ll come she says .... Ill introduce you.
I spoke with old friends and made some new ones. No more was I feeling like the little kid sitting at the kids table. I had a feeling that I had arrived in a new place. I felt I belonged.
I was proud and grateful all at the same time. I enjoyed the night and didn't want it to end. Life is good.


Many years ago I was went to a wedding of my parents friends daughter I was their Plus One sortof but not really. The Bride  was a PA on the original Sat Night Live. She had married one of the head-writers. The mom had invited me to come to the cocktail party before the reception. Just the Cocktail party and ceremony. Not the Reception. My moms friend knew I was a huge SNL fan. Gilda might even be there!!! ( She wasn't she was ill) There would be several of the original cast members from the show there and other celebrities. I was a huge fan and was excited to go. I was in my early 20s. I stood online to get a drink next to Jane Curtain, Al Franken was eating pasta and spilling half of every bite on the floor while he struggled to hold a drink and eat standing up. I spoke to the brides brother and he introduced me to Storm Fields the HOT Weather man in NYC at the time on WABC-TV. He is the son of Dr. Frank Fields who reported weather in NYC for over 40 years.  I wasn't a comic at the time.... but I was always hiding behind being funny. I liked to make people laugh it was something I could do well and I felt gave me a social edge. I had a group of these guys laughing . Storm was laughing and asked me who I was.   We got a drink and we just hit it off. I was coming out of a horrible depression at the time. I was what I thought obese... I was 165 lbs and a disgusting size 12. Ugggg Id do anything but diet and exercise to be that size now. I used my humor as a cover for my lack of hotness and it worked. Storm and I sat together during the ceremony and whispered snarky remarks during the ceremony. We got the giggles and were afraid we would draw attention to ourselves. I still remember some of the lines I said that got a laugh that night. As we walked out into the lobby I said goodnight..... I'm like Cinderella Its time for me to go. My parents are the ones invited I'm going to drive home now.... I was invited to just come oggle all the stars and now I must say good night.. I wasn't sad to go .... It had been so much fun. More fun than I had had in a long while. I was satisfied and ready to go home. Storm was flabbergasted!!!!!   What do you mean your going home. That's ridiculous. I never heard of such a thing!   Look I was suppose to bring a date.. I will talk to the brides mom you'll be my date. (it wasn't a date.... I was to be his PLUS ONE)   The world stood still. Jane Curtain walked by she mentioned to Storm she would see him at the table. Wow I will be sitting at Janes table. No I should go. I cant. Storm grabs the mom and says. I was suppose to bring a date would you mind if Robin filled in for her and sat with me. The moms face looked shocked and put on the spot. Storm smiled his movie star smile and she told me to ask the matre de to find me a seat at the table. I found her and Storm asked her if they could add a seat at his table. She said it was filled to the Max but she could put a seat for me at the one to his back if that was okay. I say no... really thank you but ... I should go.
He insists. He asks the others if they mind.... they all say sit. So we talk back to back and my table continues to fill up. The woman at the table who said sit sit... was Rosie Shuster. Tom Davis was next to her . Al Franken was to my right a very skinny woman who looked like a wire hanger with legs was to my left and next to her sat Lorne Michael's.

Lorne is looking right at me.... Who are you he asks??? I'm Robin. I'm the stand in. (gulp)  I explain all that occurred and he nodded his head the rest of the table all smiled and actually were very nice. I just listened and laughed... they were all smart and quick. During the salad everyone was listening to each person talk and Tom Davis mentions he is buying a classic car. A 1965 Impala... I mention that I in-fact drive a 1964 Impala. Classic in the fact that  my parents kept cars till they died. I tell him how truck drivers pull me over and want to buy my car. He asks me if I drove it there that night and I explain I came with my parents in their car. I remember at one point saying something and the entire table laughed. The conversation turned to the Ruttles special that Lorne had produced and aired earlier in the week. Lorne asks what was on ABC and CBS against us. No one knows. I do. I say something funny.... about being a human TV guide. Everyone is smart , funny, and they are warm and nice to me. I feel like I fit in with these people in some organic way. Rosie is especially funny and nice to me. I am not thinking if I can get a job with them or how can I use this to my advantage. I'm just enjoying the surrealness of it all. I'm just in the moment. The groom comes to the table and stands behind Lorne and puts his hands on his shoulders. He spots me and his face makes a scowl. Who are you! In unison they say... Shes the stand in. Envelopes are passed to the groom. He leaves. A few minutes go by and people are dancing. Storm taps me on my shoulder... I turn around Its not him Tapping me. Its the matre de. She whispers in my ear. I'm so sorry but the person who was suppose to be in your seat is in the lobby.. I'm going to have to move you to another table. Mortified. I try to process. I get up and say excuse me and walk out of the room. The matre de says let me find you a spot if you wait here. I decide to leave. It was too good to last. Oh well it was fun while it was fun now its not. I tell the matre de don't bother I'm going home. I go outside into the parking lot it is made of gravel. I start to cry.
I know that the Groom was angry and wanted me out of his A list table. I feel foolish. Just then the brides mom is standing at the door calling my name. Robin Robin come back. I wipe my tears and say I'm sorry Misses B. I'm going home . I didn't mean to ruin things. It just happened . It wasn't my Idea to stay. I shouldn't have stayed I'm sorry. She grabs my arm and says NO you cant leave now.
She and my mom have been friends for over 30 years. She drags me back. I just want to go home. She says didn't you feel out of place with those people??? There very different?? There not like you You must have felt out of place. there not like you. There a very different ilk of people..... Yes she said Ilk.... I say, you know what Mrs.. B. I liked them.. and you know what... the only difference between those people and me that I could see was that they have arrived and I haven't. SIDE BAR-------Because what I didn't know at the time was.... they were comedic people. I felt some kind of connection for the very first time . A connection I didn't feel again for decades later when I became a full time standup comic. I never felt that connection at the PTA or with the girls I car pooled with. Every night when I'm in the clubs sitting between shows talking with other comics I feel this connection. I'm with my ilk.

Mrs B pleaded with me to stay. I for some reason gave in. The Matre de then took me to my new table. It was the children's table. Dinner was over. I wasn't served my meal. Two bratty kid were arguing over the name of a liquor that tasted like lickerish. Its Demore no its Kulah . I feel totally humiliated now. I am NOW sitting with children. In in an angry voice say IT'S AMARETTO. Winning the argument between the two 11 year olds. I look over across the room to the table where I had sat earlier. No one was sitting in my now empty spot. I had been extracted. Then Rosie one of the writers saw me and got up and walked to my table of shame. Why are you here? We all didnt know what happend to you. I tell her what the Matre de had told me. She says oh "the groom must have freaked out." Come back everyone wondered where you went and want you to come back. I told her I couldn't. She then sat down at my table. One of the other women from the table whos name I cant recal came over too. I told her about the parking lot and how I just wished I had never come. Just then Storm walked over and asked me why I was at the Kids table. I told him what happened and scolded him saying it was all his fault. I wanted to leave and he insisted I stay and now look what happened. He put out his arm and said I'm sorry.... the groom was a jerk.... can I make it up to you with a dance. He led me to the dance floor I still felt humiliated and yet I was proud of myself for holding my own. The only difference between me and these people I told myself again is that they have arrived. I wondered if I would ever arrive. I took comfort in the fact that even if I never arrived .... I had met these people and knew that they were not much different from myself. We finished the dance and I went home.