Whos life is this anyway???

I was watching on HBO a documentary style special about Des Bishop and his experiences at the Aspen Comedy Festival. I was lucky to be asked to perform with Des Bishop at the Morrison Motel Monday night show two months ago. John Morrison puts on once a month an amazing show featuring some of the best working comics in the city and also includes one or two new comics that he feels have real potential. When I received the email from John Morrison inviting me to do the show I nearly had a panic attack. It had been a dream for me to one day do this amazing show. I have a few long term goals and this was one of them. Some of my goals are real and others imagined....this was in the later category. Well at least for a while I thought. I appreciated Johns vote of confidence in me and accepted the gig.....I was scared shitless. It is one thing to hold your own in a room full of open micer's. It is another to perform with several Aspen attendees. The show was full of heavy hitters including Zero Boy who is in a world unto himself and the amazing Demitri Martin. I was to go on towards the end of the show right before Demetri. The show was fantastic and I started to sweat uncontrollably and have the nastiest case of dry mouth. John had comped my dinner and drinks for the evening and much to my surprise paid me too. I felt I had to deliver the best I could. I had a very good set and was received way beyond what I had even thought I could achieve in this room. It was the best ten minutes I had ever done in a room that had such meaning to me. John came up to me and congratulated me for" hitting it out of the park". This man is so very kind. I will never be able to show him just how much I appreciate all of his encouragement and support . He has helped so many comics in anyway he can....he is truly one of the good guys. Back to Des Bishops' special.... so He is being interviewed and says that he did a set the night before in Greenwich Village and it went very well.(this was the show we did the night before) As he is checking into the hotel in Aspen, Rick Shapiro is checking in too. This is way to trippy for me. Rick performs most Thursday nights at Sal's Comedy Hole and MC's and performs in the Dirty Show. Rick is a God to me. Every time I see him perform I feel like I am watching something so special and really feel honored to watch up close this man perform. I imagine this is how people felt when they saw Lenny Bruce or Woody Allen when they performed in the village many years ago. Not since Sam Kinison can a comic make me laugh so hard. Rick and I often talk after our sets and he is so generous with his thoughts and comments on my performances. The first time Rick came up to me after a show and said he liked my set ...I went all girl on myself and started to cry. During the documentary Des and Rick are taking about Des's set. Des asks Rick what he thinks and Rick is telling him his thoughts on his performance and set. I am sitting in my house its 10 am the kids are at school husbands at work and I am pinching myself. Is this real??? I know these people??? Is this my life. ?? My boring little life is not the same anymore. I am not saying that in anyway I am in the League of these major talents. Its more like I cant believe that this is my life now. Its interesting and ever changing..... It just is for this mom who's biggest event in her month once was the Macys sales event ......its unreal????? The next night we had a family dinner and my dad who is in his 80's asks me how my "Little Hobby is going" Back to reality. I wanted to be 15 again and have a fit. Instead I said "Good cant complain"

Underground Mom

I did 4 sets last Tuesday night.... I am trying to prepare for an hour show I will be doing next month and need at least 15 minutes more of solid material. I have several bits that I just haven't nailed down yet as to words and delivery not to mention the order where they will appear in the set. It is so frustrating having to work out a set 5 minutes at a time. I have set up a fake comedy room in my basement where I have decided to tape myself doing as much material as I can do in a row without notes. Its pathetic. I feel like Rupert Pupkin in the movie King of Comedy. Can you imagine trying to get good at anything else 5 minutes at a time??

After the last show a bunch of us walked over to a party, a management company was having. My first industry party and shit I have on my mom jeans. I'm wearing a sweater set and I look like I just came from doing car pool. I haven't been in a NY club since Studio 54 and it doesn't count because it was 20 years ago and it was a singles dance. Andy Warhol wasn't there or Halson. Sheldon from Yonkers was.... I spent the night ditching him only to find out the guy I did give my number to was his best friend. Sheldon was the best man at my wedding he is still in my life......so much for ditching. So there I am at this happening party.... I say party with a bit of reservation. It was a cash bar and there was not food at all. Id like to get away with that. It was in a basement and was very cool. I'm walking around feeling about as out of place as a dildo in Tiffany's store window. I recognized many of the people. Most of them were several levels above where I am in the business...many had been on Comedy Central or and were passed at top clubs in the City. It was strange knowing so many people who didn't know me. If I was 20 and hot I might of had an easier time but then again 20 and hot always has it easier. Still all and all I had fun. I did have a few friends there and enjoyed the night. I got home at 3:15 made lunches for the kids and husband and was up at 7 for the school bus. I'm living 2 different lives at the same time.

The color of funny

Last week I went to see a comic I had only corresponded with do a set. It was at a club that I have played at before and they were doing an Urban Comedy show. I was told there would be a lot of BET comics. I am friends with a woman who has been on BET, Vh1 and is a top Black female comic. She has offered to take me to perform at a mostly Black venue. I shied away because I didn't know it my material and stage persona would do well with a mostly black audience. Chicken shit....that's me. Which is strange because I perform mostly for people not like me most of the time. I perform for a lot of college aged kids, I perform in Coffee houses with kids not old enough to drink. I perform for mostly single people. But why was a shying away from a doing a set to Black dominated crowd. I have Black friends who play in mostly white rooms. They do great. What's the fear. Perhaps I just wasn't comfortable in an environment where I was the minority. No that's not it. I'm always not the majority in just about any comedy situation. So I went to see the show and looked at my fear from the safety of a paid audience members seat. The comic I was to see is a really good one and recently just passed at a major NYC club. The room was about 90% Black. It was a packed house and everyone seemed ready for fun. The MC was from a major NYC Hip Hop radio station. He got the room somewhat warm and introduced the comic I had come to see the recently passed at a NYC club comic. He got up and a chill came through the room. It was palatable. He got off to a rocky start continued on and got more groans than laughs. I felt awful for him.....he was twisting in the wind. He came back like a prize fighter and got off 2-3 strong jokes and finished his set. We were supposed to discuss an upcoming show after his set....he just took off. I don't know why he didn't say good night. I respected him more than I felt sorry for him. Although Id be lying if I said I didn't feel bad for him too. He left me with his friend who I just met and we watched the rest of the show. I never found out if we were going to do a show we had discussed doing together the morning before. Nor did I get to give him my tape.

There were 3 more comics. The next one really was no better than my friend in his material but he was comfortable and somehow was able to connect with his audience. He had a good set. He was all the things you need to be to do a good set. I don't think the audience was kinder to him than my comedian I think he knew how to connect better with his audience. I will admit there is a different style of delivery.... its more familiar, more were here together. There is a lot of cultural observational humor that I would not be familiar with. The truth is though, funny is funny and these comics could connect better with the energy of the room. The next comedian was a white comic married for 15 years to a black woman. He came on and right away said " I know what your thinking another white comic .... I hope he's not like the first comic. He said no disrespect but I'm not him so let it go people let it go." He proceeded to have the set of the night. His delivery was not pandering to the crowd...he did a set that you could do in any room any color. What he did have was material that the room could relate too and he had high confidence and connected to the people. He showed that he knew what he was taking about. Granted he did a lot of his early part of his set talking about being married to a black woman.....he had there attention. I sat there like I was in college trying to learn anything I could. The last comic had a good set but really was not as good as my comic. Yet once again he found a common ground with the room. All the black comics mentioned the white folks in the room. All of them spoke to the women... They did what we all need to do in every room.......relate to the audience in a way that gets them to get us. Hey I'm a woman, a mom and a live in suburbia. I play in rooms with men, and kids and tourist. I open my act and acknowledge who I am with my first joke. I mention My family or my age or my job as a mom right off the bat and get the differences out of the way. That way the air is clear for the similarities. I'm a human more than I am anything else....mom, daughter, comic etc. I will say that the show was different. There is a different style and a different kind of delivery. The energy was very high and dirty. I loved it. Then at the end of the night I went up to the promoter and asked about getting booked. I was invited to do a guest spot in a few weeks....just about then the terror struck. The more I think about it the more I think it will be fine. But who knows. Nothing is certain. If I crash and burn at least I tried. I have a new respect for this thing we do. Playing only to people just like ourselves might be safe and get us an easier laugh.... but to really do well I think I need to be able to play to all different people....because really were not all that different. Somebody please start singing kum ba ya.

Comments are below
I think you will do just fine
Posted on 04/19/2005 at 09:56 AM by Kelly Shannon

Your stuff play well to just about everybody. I don't have kids but yet I can relate to you being a mom ( one of the reasons I decided not to become one by the way). I can actually say I had a similar experience but it was playing to a younger crowd. I've tried to put material into my act that they will enjoy too. As of late, I have tried to find something funny in things that happened to every one. This way we can all relate. You go out there and know um dead.



I LOVE Black Crowds...
Posted on 04/20/2005 at 08:42 AM by Adam Sank

...because like most black comics, they keep it real. If you suck, they let you know. If they like you, they let you know even louder.

And at the risk of grossly over-generalizing (which I've already done in this comment), black audiences seem to most enjoy comedy that shatters pretense and cuts straight to the starkest, meanest reality. They smell bullshit from a mile away, and if you can dispense with the bullshit and really expose yourself, you got 'em.

(And it helps if you have a big ass... like me.)

Cleaning up the house and act

I am finally back on my feet after having the flu for 8 days. My Kids are all back in school , husband is at work and everyones healthy.... I did a show last night for a charity and it was the first time I had been on stage since my Comic strip audition 14 days ago. I usually get up 3-5 times a week. To say I felt rusty was an understatement. I told one joke from my standard set completely inside out. I flubbed a few lines here and there. Still it was a great night. I MCed but didnt do much crowd work... I knew a lot of the people in the room which added to my nerves. Its hard to poke fun at the audience when they live next door. We had one walk out after the first set...she thought the show was going to be too dirty....fuck it. I began the show saying that this was an R rated show and that were all grown-ups...the group had pre agreed that it was okay to be Adult. Jarrett Kruse, Hbo Zone, and great pal.. did a great job as the opener and did some fantastic work with the cowd. He had a lot of new jokes up his sleeve and had his work cut out for him getting the room going he was great. Randi Kaplan from Conan, The first Last Comic Standing,and Leno, did a great set and had one of the Best ad libs of the night when the mic went dead. I did a set which I think went well....it was hard to say the room had a lot of friends in it and maybe they were being kind. I ususallly feel much more rehersed .....this is the longest I have gone without performing since I started. Jessica Kirson from Last Comic Standing VH1 and Comedy Central was the headliner and destroyed the place. I thought Id cough up a lung laughing so hard. The strangest thing about performing infront of so many people I knew was worrying that they will think that everything I talk about is true... I do a lot of material about myself and my family that is totally fiction for the sake of the joke. I seriously might have to move out of town.

One might think that feeling better is a good thing especially with everyone gone for the day. You might think I can relax and watch soaps and talk on the phone all day. Not quite. I have 8 days worth of laundry and cleaning...dishes to the roof and clutter as far as the eye can see. Nothing like getting your strength back doing 2 weeks worth of house work. Last night I felt on top of the world today I'm cleaning 3 toilets.

Comments are below
Have no fear.
Posted on 04/11/2005 at 08:06 PM by Dennis Larsen

Don't forget Robin you are cleaning three toilets, I clean 18 a day for special ed kids. Drunks at Yankee Stadium have better aim. Dont worry your career will take off and then you can hire me to clean your bowls.



Thanks for the dream.....
Posted on 04/11/2005 at 08:18 PM by Robin Fox

It is humbling though ...I cant think too much of myself when real lifes filth shows up,for me to clean. If I make it my first big dream is not to have to cook everynight....hows your cooking???

Going to the dogs

Yes I am still sick. One week and today.... Although I am feeling a bit better. I made myself chicken soup...who takes care of Mom??? Mom. So I crawl to the supermarket come home and make the soup. I am allergic to something on carrots or parsnips or parsley or turnip....because if I touch them and rub my eye area I have an allergic reaction. My eyes close up and swell like a prize fighter. I took all precautions possible. I picked up the vegetables though a plastic bag at the store. I wore glasses not to touch my eyes. I washed my hands. I must of touched something because within 1 hour of making the soup I couldn't see out of either eye I had swollen up so badly. FUCK. Normally it wouldn't have been a problem except for one small thing. I HAVE A BIG SHOW FOR A CHARITY THIS SUNDAY. I haven't been on a stage in 10 days.....I haven't taken more than a 4 day break in almost a year and a half. And now I look like a monster. I take 3 Benadryl and pass out for 10 hours. I wake up and the swelling is half way gone. MY brain is scrambled eggs I don't know what day it is. I take 2 more Benadryl and sleep through the night. I look almost normal this morning. Except when I blink it hurts like hell. I need to prepare for my show. I am very nervous. I am the feature. The show is for a charity I belong to and it is my chapter. I really was hesitant to do it but they kept on asking me to put a show together. We have Jessica Kirson coming and Jarrett Kruse. I am so off my game I'm in a panic. So what do I do ....run my set....go over my notes...no I blog.

The reason I wanted to blog this AM when I turned on my AOL the main page had on Fashion for dogs. Poochie Bags and Pet Jewelry. It infuriates me.... beyond what is normal. When I was in my 20's the one thing about Manhattan was is was pretty much a dog and child free zone. The city was for grown-ups. Sometime in the 90's when the city went coop the landlord no longer could rule out owning pets. It use to be a rarity to see a baby or a dog.....renters just didn't have them. NOW Pets have become a Friggin accessory. I was at Crate and Barrel and saw a young woman with a baby born carrier. Like a kangaroo pouch for a baby. She had a dog in it. There is no punch line...........its too sick. In my town there is a store that sells home made dog biscuits for 3 bucks a pop. Come on.....my dog eats dear poop....not to mention her own. I took my dog to the vet for her shots and he recommended that my dog have her teeth cleaned and a tooth pulled for over $200 bucks. She's a dog. The tooth fell out and I give her milk bones she's 12 yrs old. They had on the AOL dog fashion article a bag to carry a dog that cost more than my best handbag. The are making jewelry for dogs now. I saw a dog this winter with little boots on. I got to tell you it scares me. Firstly when a young couple buys a dog it is usually just practice child. Lets see if this relationship can handle another life form. Can you imagine the spoiled children they might have someday...... Now it has gotten completely out of hand Sandra Bullock has a Chewy Vitton handbag chew toy for her dog. Reese Whitherspoon buys Swarski crystal jewelry for her dog. Its bad enough to see this but to add celebrities to the mix is just about to kill me. Its just wrong. Dogs don't need $60 a pair boots. Pair that's not right they have 4 legs....$30 a pair and they need 2 pair for boots. Scratch that----- Dogs don't need BOOTS. End of story. The other day on the radio I heard that for 6 bucks a bottle you can buy doggy gravy to put on dog food. Condiments for dogs. I hope it tastes like balls.....because most dogs I have had love that the best. I don't know what this says about society but to me its some kind of narcissistic form of pet abuse. Where is Peta????......Where is Peta?????

Comments are below
It's not just that
Posted on 04/09/2005 at 02:29 PM by Shaun Eli

You think it's wasteful to spend that kind of money on pets. The rest of the world looks at us and thinks it's wasteful to spend the amount of money we spend on PEOPLE. Like $50,000 SUVs that never go off-road unless they're rolling over. 5000 square foot houses for two people. $150 bottles of wine. $80 a month for cable television.

Now excuse me, I have to go to the wine cellar (built with your tax dollars, thank you very much) to fetch a very reasonable $40 bottle of wine.

Feel better! Knock 'em dead tomorrow.



Kudos on being #1
Posted on 04/09/2005 at 04:37 PM by Michael Hayne

Congragulations on your SoapBox number 1 slot accomplishment! Is it safe to assume that you've kidnapped and duct-taped a certain "Shaun Eli" to your CPU??



Its not just the money that bothers me......Shaun.
Posted on 04/09/2005 at 05:45 PM by Robin Fox

They are DOGS. The nicest thing about a dog is that it is a DOG. It just rattels my cage. Thanks for the nice words...hopefully the show will go fine.



Call 9-1-1
Posted on 04/09/2005 at 05:52 PM by Shaun Eli

It's not the duct taping I object to, it's being stuck to a computer. When Robin showed up at my door with a roll of duct tape I assumed she had something else in mind.



seems the duct tape is holding
Posted on 04/10/2005 at 04:38 AM by Robin Fox

o my god its a one day record.... This is good friggin tape. Shaun is still not number one.

Flu-ish

I have been sick since Sunday and what I thought was a cold had turned into the flu. Today I just starting to feel a bit better. I'm pissed. I got the flu, despite washing my hands more than some OCD patient. (I know my sons friend has OCD and I had to push him out of the way to get to the anti-bacterial soap.) I wash my hands every time I touch a mic. Have you ever noticed where the Friggin mic winds up. Rick Shapiro practically deep throats the thing (which is hysterical). I have seen it come out of comics pants rubbed on chests, guys and girls and lets not even think about all the unwashed hands. I'm ready to go on stage with a condom for the filthy thing. At least some Lysol. I spent the month of November trying to get a flu shot since I'm high risk. Yes high risk.... I have asthma....yes you might have seen me smoking...yes I'm an idiot. My 98 year old aunt got a flu shot. 98 she has dodged a few bullets in her long life. She has traveled the world had a successful career and okay now she's a widow and is in a wheel chair and wears diapers....but hey I got a comedy career here...kids to raise and I just lost 5 lbs, I got a lot to live for here. But no flu shot for me.

I am feeling a little better and it looks like I will live. I got sick just about an hour after my sons Bar Mitzvah party. I never got to even think about how great it was and how nice it all turned out. The only great thing that came out of the flu is it looks like I quit smoking. I haven't had a cigerette since Sat. night. Being so ill I was too sick to feel the withdrawal from the nicotine. I had to quit. My lifestyle wont support it. Fuck!! I quit smoking just when the good smoking season started. I spent the winter in a nightgown in 4 degree weather smoking on the side of my house like a roach on a refrigerator hiding from my family. Then Id tip toe...onto the deck open the door ( all this to the theme of mission impossible) turning and pulling the door not to let it creek. Then a 3 minute hand washing. 2 pieces of dentene Ice gum. Finishing it all off with a shower of Fabreeze. I have Fabreeze hidden all over the house like a alcoholic hides bottles. I drove in my car and smoked with my hand out the window with all 4 windows down while it was raining. The only friends I have who smoke are comics... all my middle aged suburbanite pals gave it up years ago. So did I. Then I'm back in bars doing comedy and I'm living for second hand smoke and eventually started smoking again after 17 years. I quit for 4 months and then went back in December. So thank you flu. I haven't smoked in 5 days but I am becoming hooked on Vic's vapor rub. I also love the cough syrup with the codeine .......a lot.

Comments are below

Posted on 04/07/2005 at 03:09 PM by Kelly Shannon

Hey just think, the money you save on cigarettes you can now use to buy gas. Shit, the stuff is more expensive then some of the jewlery I own. Glad your feeling better. I have to warn you though. It comes back... over and over and over like that ugly guy who has the hots for you in a bar.



Dear Robin
Posted on 04/07/2005 at 03:43 PM by Shaun Eli

It would be a lot of fun if you would give us permission NOW to knock the cigarettes out of your hand if you start smoking again.

Feel better, and get back on stage!

-Shaun



Sick of TV too
Posted on 04/07/2005 at 05:19 PM by Robin Fox

I have been watching TV non stop unable to get out of bed other than to puke. Dr Phil is hysterical...today a woman and a man who after 18 months of marriage found out they are half brother and sister......eeeewwww. Then a woman married a man in prison and then got a clue and divorced him. Note to self.....never marry anyone in jail. Now she wants to know if she can just date him. Everyone says Dr Phil has so much common sence....NOoooo the guests dont have a drop of it so it just seems that way by comparison. I really need to write....I cant come up with stuff this stupid on my own.



Feel Better, Sweetie
Posted on 04/07/2005 at 09:16 PM by Adam Sank

At least you're blogging again. And one of your funniest blogs ever, I must say. Mazel tov on your kid's B.M. (As in Bar mitzvah, not shit.)



I miss you
Posted on 04/08/2005 at 01:36 AM by Greg Concodora

Mom, where have you gone? I hope you are feeling good and getting on stage. I just broke my 6 week hiatus. I hope you fulfill your dreams. You are a good person, even though you used to work in ads. Call or email me.