The Mother of all Comedians: February 2008

It is impossible to become a comedian without having met your share of dicks. They come in all varieties; club owner dicks, booker dicks, comedian dicks, charity show booker dicks, restaurant owner dicks, famous dicks, unknown dicks, old dicks, young dicks, women dicks, girl dicks and just your average dick. People who are walking talking miseries.

I guess my first dick I met doing comedy was a woman in my comedy class. She was a successful person in another field and felt that that placed her above the rest of us. She wasn’t funny onstage in the least. She had like most of us had at the time….. Lots of premises and few jokes or punches. After a class I mentioned one of her bits and suggested a few tags. She acted very non impressed or grateful. At the graduation show she did her set the highlight of her set was the bit that I had changed for her. She had a ton of people in the audience and when she got off stage I told her that it was a good set and I was so honored that she used my suggestions. She looked right through me and said nothing. Dick.

Epilog.... She was recently featured in the New York Times about her unusual marriage situation.... she might not be a dick she might be a total nut job ...thus exempt.

I met my second Dick it was when I was asked by a local preschool if I would be performing at any place locally. I was doing comedy for about 2 years and the answer was other than an open mic…..no. I had been getting emails about shows at Caroline’s that were produced by a woman who also produce at Rascals in NJ. I knew it was a bringer situation and that was perfect because 40 women would be coming to see me. I emailed her and asked if she was planning on doing a bringer at Rascals anytime soon. She wrote back that she would let me know as soon as she lined up her next one. A few days later the date was set then it was changed 2 more times. This was hard for me to coordinate with the preschool director but some how it worked out. A few weeks before the show she changed the venue from Rascals to the Stress Factory. I was very upset because I wanted to be seen at Rascals. I did the open mic every week at the Stress Factory and she scheduled the show for a Weds. Night thus knocking out the weekly open mic. I knew the regular open micers would be upset and pissed that there show would be bumped. That was an understatement they went ape shit and if you were on the Soapbox at the time they took to my blog to let me know how they felt. It was a shit storm that took me almost 6 months to undo the damage and hurt feelings.

So bringer producer booked out the night. She told me that for my 40 people I would be getting a tight 8. Shmuck that I was I should have pulled the plug. I should have told her forget it. I don’t need to do this. I mentioned to a comic who at the time I didn’t know who ran bringers at Gotham the situation and she told me to insist on at least 10 minutes and that if I did one of her shows and brought 40 she would give me a 3 other shows too without bringing. So the night of the show came. It turned out to be a cavalcade. Not only that 2 local comics talked their way onto the show and got 5 mins each without bringing and went on before me. Before me that’s an understatement there were over 12 comics and I went on 11th. I told Dick that these were schoolteachers who had work in the morning…. There were 4 other people who brought and the rest of the show had other comics that Dick wanted to give spots and some paid spots too. I went on after Lisa Landry who did 20 minutes. She killed then Dick went up and did another 5 minutes as she had done after every performer the entire night. It was after 11 pm the show started at 8…. When I took the stage. I performed to utter silence. To this day it was my biggest dump I have taken on a stage. I had asked Dick if she could watch my set…. She spent the entire time at the bar flirting with the hot bartender. The only thing I got out of the night was 40 women thinking. Really Robin you’re so brave…. I could never do that…. I give you a lot of credit you have guts. Times the entire town now knowing I sucked. I also learned that if I were ever to do a bringer again I would have to know far more about the situation again to ever consider doing one again.

Epilog…. Dick booker no longer does comedy that I know of and is hated by just about everyone. She has stiffed top comics and her name is mud. If it quacks like a duck you wont be the only one who hears it.

I was walking by ABC carpet on Broadway one Sunday…. Who is standing there but a guy who just got a show on late late nights on Comedy Central. It had aired for the first time the night before. He is standing there and I shout out the name of his show. He turns walks to me and says hi. I tell him that I loved the show and that he has a hit on his hands. He said really you think so in a sincere and doubting tone. I tell him I am a good judge of funny and he is amazing. I had seen his comedy at the Cellar many times and that this show really captured something special. I was sure it was going to be a hit (and it was) He was so nice.

Flash forward to a few years…. I’m walking with Rick Shapiro who just had gotten Lucky Louis at the time. Rick was the first pro comic to tell me I was funny and if you like me…well I LOVE YOU.
Who do I see coming down the street by the comic from ABC carpet? Rick greets him and I say.. Just last night I saw you on an old episode of Saturday Night Live and you were so young I had no Idea you were on there…. I was about to tell him he was funny on it and he cut me off looked annoyed and smugly says…. Yeah they re run those SNL show once and a while. Gee what are the odds? Now writing this it doesn’t sound that bad but he was super smug and acted annoyed that I even was speaking to him….especially since Rick was there and was so much more important. Rick the honey that he is ….says This is Robin Fox she’s a friend of mine…. she’s very funny. Dick says oh….good for you…and continues to ignore me and turns his back. I say goodnight to Rick and walk away. Dick.

Epilog… This comic is bigger than ever and Ricks show got cancelled after one season. Also this Dick goes in the category of I am too important to talk to you now that I am a big deal.

There are the non-famous Dicks… Including one comic who every time I see her when she leaves says to me….. It was nice meeting you. We have met no fewer than a dozen times. There is the Dick comics who are all over you for facts and information but if you ask them the simplest question they clam up and act like you asked to borrow money. It can be as simple as do you know the lineup for tonight’s show. There are the click Dicks. These are the comics who hang out in front of the clubs in the Village. They tend to be young and unfunny. The girls are hot and not funny and do the standard I’m such a slut jokes and get booked for no other reason that the guys like having sluts around. I spent many a night hanging around just to find out who booked the show and was treated like I should go home and make a brisket. Then there are the Dicks who tell you that if you bring 4 people to an early show you will be seen by industry. Not only was I stupid enough to do this I was shorted a minute on my set. When I asked who the industry was I was told that… they don’t want to be identified.

Epilog on this Dick …. He opens for a top female comic all over. Karma is a fucking Bitch sometimes.

One night I had to get out of my house. My family was driving me crazy and I drove into the city and went to the Lantern to watch a show, and possibly find out who booked the show. I sat and watched the show there were about 9 people in the audience. I at the time decided that I was ready to do a show like this. I knew all of the comics and most of them had started with me. After the show I found the producer and waited to ask him if I could do the show sometime. He knew me. We had done a show a few months earlier where I had had my first hit out of the park. I knew he saw the set and it was my very best one to that date. He on the other hand bombed that night. So there I stood for 10 minutes waiting for him to finish a conversation to speak to him. I saw he was done and walked up to him and he says….. Sunday night at 11. I say, “ How did you know what I was going to ask?” He says, “ You’re a comic right…. What else would you want?” I try to ask him if he has a number or email I can call to confirm he walks away…. And even though he heard me doesn’t answer me. He is maybe 32 years old. Sunday comes and I make the trek into the city search for parking and show up at 10:45. Apparently the show is sold out and the comics aren’t allowed downstairs and congregate outside. I see Dick and say hi. He doesn’t acknowledge me and talks to the person behind me. I stand there and ask if there is a line up and am not answered. It is after 12:30 and I have been standing around all night… I see Dick and ask him if I will ever get on the show he says that the show is almost over and that would be a no. I ask him how one manages to get on one of his shows. He answers and says…. Get on Comedy Central or HBO. Just then an open micer who has been doing comedy about 3 minutes and AngryBob comes up the stairs and thanks Dick for the spots. So much for TV credits. What a Dick.

Epilog…
This Dick produces a few bringer shows in the city and is a comedy great in his own mind. Oh and I still think he is a dick.

I blogged about this Dick a few years ago. I ate dinner in college with a very talented and flamboyant and ambitious young woman. She was a drama student at Boston U. Back then I was in my comedy phase where making people laugh so hard there drinks went up their noses. I would make this woman and her hipper than hip friends laugh. I was envious that they could actually study Drama. My dad wanted me to come out of college with a real job…. That didn’t happen anyway. Over the years I wondered what ever happened to this woman. Then one year at the Emmys there she was accepting a writing Emmy for the Ellen Show where Ellen came out. I was so thrilled. I tried to locate he through my alumni association with no luck. Years later after finding her through the net and the writers guild I emailed her. I wrote a lovely note telling her how thrilled I was for all her successes and that I wasn’t surprised. I then reminded her of our days and dinners in college. I brought up mutual friends and then mentioned that I had after 20 years beyond college I had begun a career in stand up. She wrote a one line email back saying that thanks for the nice words but she didn’t remember me at all. She didn’t ask for any further info or a photo… A few months later I sent her a flier on a mass email for a show I was doing. She wrote back. Take me off this list. Dick.

Epilog she is a writer for a Disney Channel show.

I entered a festival a few years ago. I had to submit a tape and I think $20. I was interning at a comedy club one night and saw the man who was putting this all together. He came over to the car and talked to my boss who I used to drive into and around the city. Then he asked my boss if I could drop him off somewhere. So now I’m his cab. While I drove him uptown I asked him if I could give him my tape and mail him a check. He and I had done open mics together a few years back and I told him I would appreciate any feedback he might have on my tape he said that he would check it out right away and get back to me sometime online and let me know what he thought. He thanked me for the ride. I would see him on line over the years before and we would often IM late at night. Several times we IM’d and we would just chat. I asked him if he saw my tape and he would apologize and say not yet…. He would get to it as soon as he could.

A few months later I was on the festivals site and saw I made it into the festival. I saw that he was online and IMed him. I said Hi…. You busy? What’s up? I wrote thanks so much for putting me on the festival. I then asked him if he watched my tape. He said he had a phone call he would be right back. He never came back. The next afternoon I saw him online and just typed Hi. He wrote back Hi…. Sorry last night I didn’t get back to you. I said no worries. Thanks for putting me on the festival. Did you watch my tape? Wondering if it was he or a judge or an intern saw it. He wrote back….. You know what you don’t have to wonder if I saw your tape. We got 100s of them and I can’t remember one lousy comics tape. Look you don’t have to worry anymore I’m throwing you out of the festival. ….And went offline. Dick!

I emailed him and tried to explain that I meant nothing by it and that he had promised me he was going to watch it. I was just following up. After the festival I wrote him again and told him that I was very hurt that I was thrown out of the festival and that he was the one who said he’d be happy to watch my tape. He wrote back and never apologized for throwing me out of the festival but did say that if he in fact did promise to watch my tape and didn’t that it somehow must have been an oversight. Dick.

Epilog…. He no longer runs this festival.

Several comics I know perform for a booker. I consider myself of equal talent and decided one day to contact him. I called him and he site unseen booked me for a show 6 weeks away. That night I told my husband about the gig. He told me that we had a family anniversary party that night and I would have to cancel. That was Friday. Saturday I received an email confirmation for the gig. I wrote back on the confirmation that I couldn’t do the gig due to a conflict. I thanked him and told him that I hoped that I could do another show at a later date. That Monday morning I found in my email and angry note from the booker saying that the confirm sheet that was sent to me was for me to have the details of the gig….where what and when. That if I was to cancel if I got the gig on the phone I should have cancelled on the phone. I was told that I would never work for him ever. I wrote a long letter apologizing and pleading ignorance to his policy and that It was a rookie mistake never to happen again. He wrote back that his decision was final. DICK. Two years later after doing well in a local contest I contacted the booker by email and gave him a long list of well know comics who would vouge for my dependability and talent. That I made a mistake and I would only make a mistake once. He wrote me back. I don’t need to ask anyone about you …. I know first hand and the answer is no. Dick.

Epilog… I still don’t work for him…. I plan on calling him and try to figure out a way around this problem. He books a lot of shows and I could use the work.
I will eat crow if I have too thus I meet a lot of Dicks.

I did a 3 comic show. I was the feature. I was to do 30 minutes. I arranged with the Host of the show to light me at 25. I am performing and it is a tough room. I was more than holding my own but it was work. I wasn’t having a ton of fun. The owner of the place was a woman and she was laughing and enjoying me so all was good. I have in the past gone over and I am one who learns fast that it isn’t worth the aggravation and I if anything would prefer to end a few minutes short if I’m not killing. So there I am thinking where is the light this feels like its time. I see the Host and he is just sitting. I see the headliner and he is pacing. As I am performing I’m thinking…. It has to be 30 minutes already … I review in my head the bits and I know that I did my usual 20 that I do all the time and a 10-minute set that I also do. Finally I see the host holding a candle. I finish the joke I am in midstream with and leave the stage.

The host goes up and is going to do a few minutes. The headliner sees me and says…. You went long. I said..Really the second I saw the light I got off. He says with a mean face… Well you did 40. Not 30. I said gee I was looking for the host and the candle, why did he not light me at 25 when I asked him too. Then Dick the headliner says…. Because I told him not to. You should know how long a 30-minute set is. Or wear a watch. Well I will give him that… I should wear a watch. But my watch is broken for now. I use my cell most of the time. But wait…. He told the Host not to light me I need to learn! When did I sign up for that course? I go to the bar outside the showroom to get paid and talk to the host. I tell him how I went long and that the headliner is pissed at me. He says that he wanted to use his cell but he couldn’t and when he went to light me Dick told him….. She should know how long a half hour is. The owner overhears the conversation and says to me… you could have stayed up there for an hour, I loved you. So I feel all is okay. Later the Monday after I get a note from the booker telling me he heard that I had a fantastic set and that there was a small problem with me going over and not to worry since the owner liked me so much. Did Dick tell him about this?

Epilog. Host of the show emailed me and told me that Dick did 15 minutes extra on his set. I also worked with Dick since and he had a heckler disrupt his entire set. Instant Karma.

I got fired after working as an intern for over 18 months in a one line email….ala Carrie in Sex in the City getting broken up with…. on a post it note. I cried for days. Truthfully, it was time for me to stop. I wasn’t available at a whim anymore and it in fact had become hard to plan a week with him. I was getting more and more spots on my own and didn’t really need to do the job anymore to find stage time. I wouldn’t call this person a Dick for three reasons…. A. I like him very much and B. He’s a club owner and C. See A and B. But It hurt none the less and reminded me that if your no one in this business people will treat you like your no one… no one who might have feelings and a soul that could be hurt or damaged. Business is sometimes just Business … get used to it…. There will be more of this if you don’t kill yourself first.

I did a weekend with a comic at a club. I was the host. At the first show she did a bit about being a bridesmaid and used a throw away line that struck me funny. It wasn’t an entire joke or a bit just a line. The next night we did two shows. I was doing some crowd work and a girl was getting married. I threw out the first thing that came to mind and not even realizing where it came from I had said the line from the night before. It wasn’t intentional and I am not a thief. I found out I did this when the woman who ran the room told me that the comic was upset with me. As she got off stage I whispered to her I’m so sorry. I need to talk to you. I brought up the headliner and went to find the comic she was gone. I felt horrible. I told the booker that it was a terrible mistake and that I was new to hosting and that I am sorry. I just said something that came to mind and hadn’t filtered where it came from. It was one line and may I also add it didn’t preclude her doing her bit that was 5 minutes or more. I found the comics email and wrote her a letter apologizing and asked he to forgive a dumb mistake. Really would a thief intentionally steal something and do it in front of the comic. The answer is yes because I have seen it done…. But this wasn’t the case. It was a glitch and I fucked up and admitted it.

Epilog.
The comic never wrote back…. DICK.

There are Dicks that sometimes come in packs … like a sack of Dicks. They are clicks of guy comics who will ignore you if you’re a girl or girl comics who will ignore you if you’re a woman. There are club comics who will talk down to you because you’re not in their club. There are bringer clicks too. Lets face it just because you show up one day to do comedy doesn’t automatically mean that you fit in. And they should jump off the stage to shake your hand. The Dicks I’m talking about make you feel left out. They do a show with you and then all make plans to go to a bar after in front of you. They talk about gigs or a club in front of you and if you ask a question you are made to feel like you just farted. You kill and no one says a word. You see these people individually and if they have no one to be with they act like your best friend. Let one of their own show up you are left in the dust. Most of all most of these click comics aren’t funny. Usually one or two…. The rest are just there to tell the one or two how great they are.

I was invited to a party at a club for a celebration. It was for one of these click groups. I was so excited to be invited. The woman who started the group and the woman who books the group were throwing this party. The founder always was indifferent to me. She never said to me that I had a good set and to tell you the truth…. From the day I met her I felt she hated me. The other woman I liked very much… I even pushed a good friend of mine to book her for a show… I should have realized she was a Dick when she never thanked me. So when I got the invite I was relived and happy. I brought two nice gift baskets one for each of the hosts of the party. The party consisted of a room and a bar where you could buy your own food and drinks. Not even a cake. Just two cupcakes for each of the hosts. Party??? I was one of the only one’s who brought a present. I never got a thank you note or email from either and I was never invited back to do another show. I want to like these women…. They don’t like me. I have been nice but I’m not in the cool club… SO, for never saying thank-you … I declare them both Dicks.

I have learned from every one of these situations. Mostly, have a thick skin. This business and life in general doesn’t treat you fairly all the time. You have to do your best and if you fuck up admit it and move on. If someone is a DICK to you don’t think you’re so special. They are most of the times Dicks to a lot of people. Just make a mental note. These people have shown you who they are, now believe it. Learn from your mistakes and try not to repeat them. If someone is a Dick it says volumes about them and usually very little about you. I have also learned the greatest lesson of all. Don’t be a Dick!

The other night a comic lets call him Joe... came up to me and told me that at the last show we did together a few weeks ago, that the headliner couldn’t follow me. He told me he walked over 60 people. I left shortly after my best set as of this date and saw the headliner was struggling. I don’t like watching someone have a hard time on stage. I had no idea it went so poorly for him. I like this comic and felt badly. Joe told me that he thought I should headline. I told him that it is rare that the road gigs I do let women headline.

We talked and he thanked me for being so nice to spend some time talking with him. He said he got treated so badly this week by a NJ club owner and that the guy was such a Dick to him. I then said…. So how is Sam (not his name) doing? The comic was stunned that I knew who it was. I told him there is one owner of a small club who is notorious for being a DICK. So it was a lucky guess. I then told the comic how after my family crisis last year I wrote to this Dick and told him that the crisis was now under control for now and gave him my avails. Dick knew about my family situation and wrote me back… We have enough comics for now. I wont be using you, good luck with things. –Sam. Really???? Fuck you very much is what I thought. I tell you that my family just came through a horrible crisis and you write back good luck with things! I don’t mind that you wont use me…. But please. Why would I be surprised this guy wont book Black comics except for one with a huge following and never books Hispanic or Women comics and its 2008. He is a 100% DICK. I told this to the comic I was speaking with and then I gave him the name of a guy I knew who was looking for a host. He thanked me and commented on how nice I was. I told him that in doing comedy I have met some fantastic people and every break I got came from these people who were kind enough to show me the way…. That I decided I want to be one of the good guys and not the Dicks. So I guess the message in this blog is simple……. Don’t be a Dick.

Eplog…. Sometimes I have been wrong…. Sometimes someone acted Dicky and it has turned out that they weren’t a dick. That’s the problem with Dicks there tricky that way. So for now… I’m proving who I am on the stage one set at a time. The Hell with Dick. I got a job to do. The proof is in the performance and the laughter. Pete Dominic recently told me something truly profound …this isn’t a race, it’s a marathon.

I too have met my share of Dicks
Posted on 02/25/2008 at 08:29 AM by April Brucker

And sometimes am guilty of being one myself. But you are a funny, classy lady and in the end the dicks will always get rammed up the ass cause they are thinking with their dicks. And cream always rises to the top.

I hear about alot of dicksand seen a few firsthand
Posted on 02/25/2008 at 11:31 AM by Martin Malloy

I am still at open mic phase but plan on working proffesionally in about 6 months when (if) I have a car. I run into dicks at this level but they are usualy dicks that don't matter so its not a big deal. I anticipate if I get into the business more I will encounter alot of dicks. Thanks for the heads up. ps I am moving soon. tops on my list is charlotte nc but I will go wherever my best opportunities are. Hope there aren't too many dicks where I go. also April I've been a dick to but I talk to my therapist about times I thought I was a dick so I won't repeat it.

I don't think the proportion of jerks in comedy is any different from anywhere else
Posted on 02/25/2008 at 01:31 PM by Shaun Eli

There's just sometimes much more exposure to them, and greater opportunities for them to influence others. There's no Human Resources Department monitoring the situation.

At least not formally-- I have had conversations with bookers and club owners who have said "He's difficult to work with" and in one case when someone asked me about someone else my response was "He's difficult-- if he were 80% better than he is then his attitude could be justified; but he's not worth the trouble to book." Word does get around. And even if you don't see the club owners at the club, they really do know what's going on.

And what goes around comes around-- the perfect example being that a lot of the people Robin writes about are in the same place they were three years ago while her career is skyrocketing.

And I know most of the people she's talking about, and for the most part they are jerks. But nobody's all good or all bad-- one of the people Robin writes about has been really helpful and kind to new comics...
I had someone treat me very poorly when I first started out (Breach of Contract would be the legal term although it wasn't anything anybody could really sue over). I avoided her as much as I could. Then last year I had a (very rare) conflict with a guy in the industry, someone senior to me in the world of comedy. And she stood up for me (even though pretty much what he was doing was what she'd done to me). Stood up for me even though it could have reflected slightly poorly on her with that other guy. So I figure now we're even, and yes, I did thank her for it.

I had the same comedy class experience-- I gave someone a great punchline for one of her jokes and it got the biggest laugh of the whole show. She never said thank you. Where is she now? No longer performing... Success is the best revenge.

I learned that there's no point chasing after people who don't like you. it's like going on a date and telling your date over and over again how beautiful she is-- she will start to think that you're way below her and will lose any interest she had. Sometimes you just have to write some people off.

And Robin, out of the thousands of people you've met in comedy, the number of jerks is pretty low. I expect your next blog to be about all the wonderful, friendly, helpful people you've met. And for that blog feel free to name names.

Now if you'll excuse me, I have to go make fun of Hillary.

I know most of the people you are talking about
Posted on 02/25/2008 at 02:58 PM by Josh Homer

I do think it was wierd that the comics from teh open mic at the Stress Factory gave you crap about the booking of the show; something you have no control over. To me that's being a bit of a dick.

Showbiz attracts assholes like flies to shit
Posted on 02/25/2008 at 02:41 PM by Dave O'Gara

It's easy money with a side of praise and glamor. Without slicing my own throat too much I think one has to be an asshole to be a comedy booker. I'm not saying has to like a prerequisite, it just seems to work out that way. Okay maybe they aren't all assholes, there are a few that have been nothing but awesome, but that ain't the rule.

You have to have an ego big enough to fill a stage and enough issues to fill a thirty minute set, that combination rarely produces good people.

I needed to read this blog, it's nice to know that everybody is having similar experiences.

Oh.... I forgot. One of my favorite Dick stories.
Posted on 02/25/2008 at 04:48 PM by Robin Fox

Several years ago a comic held auditions in an outer borough. It was on a Sat. morning. I had no Idea how to get there or if It was safe. Carl drove me and I had an appointment to audition around 1 pm. On getting to the bar, I the place was packed with fellow comedians most who I knew. I got up and had a kick ass audition the bar tender told me I was one of the few who got the entire room to laugh and that I was one of the only funny women who was there all day. I thanked the guy holding the auditions.

A week later I emailed this guy and asked him if I made it. He told me that he really liked me but his partners dont think Im right for the room. I could deal with that..... accept.... over time I found out there were no partners. Thats fine too. I would see this guy at open mics and all over town. His one room turned into a bit of a outer borough big show. He started to produce a great deal. Is he funny? "?"

I did get one booking at an open mic thing and the address he gave me didnt include North or South and I wound up in a crack hood scared for my life looking for the room. I called him and left a very nice email and explained I couldnt find the place. I drove over an hour looking not to mention coming in from NJ. He never got back to me. I found out my mistake from other comedians. Still Im on the fence about this potential Dick.

One night Im at Adams apartment and Adam reads me an email he just found in his in box. He writes that he hears that Adam has an amazing show and that His good friend Robin Fox mentioned I should contact him. Im in the ROOM!!! I tell Adam the previous information... and that this guy and I arent friends. So, Adam writes back. Funny Robins right here and she doent remember talking to you about this show. I tell you what why dont you book the two of us first on one of your shows....and then will talk. ( You gotta love the boy) I got to say not only is this guy a DICK..... he Dicks me and then wants to use my name to help him. Dick. Eplog.... I heard he might be up for Live at Gotham.

It is nice to know that we all do ...
Posted on 02/25/2008 at 05:00 PM by Robin Fox

Have similar experiences. That is what motivated me to write this blog. Just like you have to break an egg to make an omelet the same is true in comedy. You will have to endure and survive a bunch of dicks. As comics we hesitate to talk about these experiences and or name names because... we fear reprocussions and are powerless and dont want make a bigger problem. One on one I have found it amazing how these Dicks are Dicks to lots of people and that it is nothing personal. Thats what has helped me get through each situation and swim to the other side. Hearing a newer comic so upset about someone who treated him like.... well a dick.... made me write this blog. And like Shuan said, These people can be found in all walks of life. I just wanted to illustrate how they manifest themselves in our business . Your right Josh the SF comics were not cool. We did work it out. They feared I was bringging the bringger system to their home club. The entire experience with this woman and her screwing me big time was hell from start to finish. I was relieved and happy to hear that the word got out about her not by me.... and that she is no longer in opperation. I will say she fucked with someone who is a Huge NJ and PA comic and he had no qualms in letting the world know she was a dirt bag. Hey what goes around..... As I say all the time the best part of getting older is living long enough to see it come around!

so many dicks...so little time, as they say
Posted on 02/25/2008 at 05:54 PM by Mindy Matijasevic

Robin, I have to read this in installments. This morning, I read about a few; this afternoon, I read of several more. It is upsetting. When I saw how much more there was, I had to stop -- I'll read about the rest of them later or tomorrow. Whew! (All "dicked" out.)

I dont know what got into me..
Posted on 02/25/2008 at 07:29 PM by Robin Fox

But once I decided to write on this topic.... it was like a giant purge. I feel so much better having gotten this out. I truly feel that for anyone striving to be working stand up comic that this topic is one of the things we all will have to face and deal with. Sorry for bumming you out Mindy. Its over 5 years of Dicks.

Wow You Can Write A LOT....
Posted on 02/25/2008 at 08:07 PM by Jon Hausman

...and before you call me that D-word too, I'm genuinely impressed that you could and would write a meaningful entry of that length.

HOWEVER, as a man, can't we call these people something else? I love mine - he and I have had great times..... Using that word in a desultory manner makes me ashamed of my best feature.

A DickStory I just heard
Posted on 02/25/2008 at 10:01 PM by April Brucker

Said comedian produced a show some years ago at NYCC and said woman comedia not so good looking was always a regular on his show. Its just a rumor so I am not using names. But said woman was said to give him regular blow jobs. If that's not dick I dont know what is.

Jon / Robin
Posted on 02/26/2008 at 12:22 AM by Mindy Matijasevic

I feel the same about my parts. But since I've entered the comic community, it has been an eye opener in that way. Valued body parts are used as insults. It's not my language, so I try to just hear it as another dialect. When I was new here and brought it up as a question and something to look at, let's just say I did not get a favorable reaction from many. Others outright said they don't do that.

When I spoke to a non-comic co-worker about the issue, he said that while they have every right to use the language as they do, I had a valid question and every right to raise it. Though it felt unfriendly to me around here in that way, I am glad I stayed for other reasons. I do learn a lot here, and I have met good people who I wouldn't have met without this site (unless God had a plan for us to meet somehow no matter what).

Robin, I think it is great that you emptied and made yourself feel better. As for bumming me out, it is necessary in this case I guess. It's better to know what goes on out there. I read it like I watch the news. Small doses. :-)

oh and Shaun
Posted on 02/26/2008 at 12:47 AM by Mindy Matijasevic

I totally agree about sometimes you do have to write some people off. And that there's no point chasing someone who doesn't like you. However, when dating someone I do like (and what's the point of dating someone you don't like), I don't tire of hearing good things. If he thinks I'm beautiful, that feels good. I don't think less of the person who can make me feel good. But, I know I'm probably not typical.

Mindy,
Posted on 02/26/2008 at 02:57 AM by Shaun Eli

I was referring to first dates.

"Dick" as Insult
Posted on 02/26/2008 at 10:57 AM by Adam Sank

I am in favor of people using any word they want to, especially in comedy. If it makes people laugh, and the intent is not to spread or inspire hatred, I'm OK with it.

But as someone with a deep interest in linguistics, I do find fascinating the words people use as insults.

"Dick" is particularly interesting as a put-down, because our language is usually sexist in the other direction. The dick is venerated in America, whereas feminine things usually have a negative connotation. "Pussy" is a far more common insult for a man than "dick" (On the other hand, "asshole" is the most common, and that one's gender-neutral, given that assholes, like opinions, are something everyone has.)

But I remember once in college, in a Queer Studies class, my gay friend Chad pointed out that the expression "That sucks!" is both sexist and homophobic. "After all," he pointed out, "I suck."

We all laughed, but it's a valid point: In our culture, if you put a penis in your mouth, you're considered bad, weak, degenerate, a faggot, a whore etc.

Which is odd, because the logical conclusion, then, is that a penis is a disgusting thing. Which means men are disgusting.

Food for thought, so to speak...

Sorry if I caused any serious concern - didn't mean to...
Posted on 02/26/2008 at 04:50 PM by Jon Hausman

I was not all that serious - sorry if anyone thought I really WAS offended or put off. Actually, I really doubt that anyone cared one way or the other how I feel, nor should they.

Adam's logic is dead-on, though; much better thought process than I could have laid out.

I just thought I'd stand up for my guy, even though he'd never stand up for me, seeing as he's a self-centered D..... well... you know....

Why dick?
Posted on 02/26/2008 at 05:13 PM by Robin Fox

Because each time these things happened I would really think.... " What a Dick" So thats how I am wired. Sure I could have said. Jerk, or Asshole, or Prick...... But in my head..... these are Dicks. Acting Dicky... not Pricky or Jurkey... or Assholish..... Whats concerns me it this. After 5 years at this this is what I dealt with..... I truly feel that dealing with less than pleasant people is part of the journey. Since my entire blog is about this journey I thought it was time to share this.

Why dick?
Posted on 02/26/2008 at 05:13 PM by Robin Fox

Because each time these things happened I would really think.... " What a Dick" So thats how I am wired. Sure I could have said. Jerk, or Asshole, or Prick...... But in my head..... these are Dicks. Acting Dicky... not Pricky or Jurkey... or Assholish..... Whats concerns me it this. After 5 years at this this is what I dealt with..... I truly feel that dealing with less than pleasant people is part of the journey. Since my entire blog is about this journey I thought it was time to share this.

So a MEAN, NASTY Woman Would Be Called a....
Posted on 02/26/2008 at 05:24 PM by AJ The Dog

CUNT?

Granted, I'm just a dog, but isn't that essentially the female equivalent of DICK? Why do people (almost always women) get so offended when another woman is called a CUNT? Regardless of what she does to bring that on. Doesn't seem consistent somehow.

And while we're on the subject of that area, I woke up at the Vet's Office once and my balls were gone. Anyone seen 'em? No crappy jokes - I'm serious. I need those things....

AJ, from what I know of dogs' balls...
Posted on 02/26/2008 at 06:46 PM by Mindy Matijasevic

you'll live a longer and happier life without them. I'm sure that's what your vet told your owners.

Adam, I agree with you that intent is what's important. However, I don't have to participate in certain things -- like attributing negative meaning to "pussy," and I don't. It's a powerful place (the birth canal, more nerve endings in a clit than an entire penis, multi-orgasmic, quite desired, etc.) so I think it's time people think of it as a compliment to be compared to one. But as I often say, I am not typical. And I'm not trying to be. We can all still share the planet and not be identical.

Enough already!
Posted on 02/26/2008 at 07:21 PM by Shaun Eli

Could we put an end to the anatomy discussion and stick to the topic at hand, which is Mean People in Comedy?
(and please, I meant no pun at ALL)

Sincerely,

The Blog Police

I Agree, Mindy
Posted on 02/26/2008 at 07:24 PM by Adam Sank

I was not advocating the derogatory use of "pussy," or any other word, for that matter.

I was simply commenting from a socio-linguistic perspective.

And Shaun, if this is all too hot for you, switch to the Disney Channel. This is a perfectly reasonable adult discussion.

thanks Adam
Posted on 02/26/2008 at 07:45 PM by Mindy Matijasevic

but I wasn't thinking you were advocating the derogatory use. thanks anyway for caring to clarify. and thanks for calling this perfectly reasonable adult conversation. i never know around here...people are so different.

Adam, I added to your comment:
Posted on 02/26/2008 at 07:52 PM by Mindy Matijasevic

We all laughed, but it's a valid point: In our culture, if you put a penis in your mouth, you're considered bad, weak, degenerate, a faggot, a whore etc.

and quite desired.

Thank you
Posted on 03/28/2008 at 09:49 PM by Bryan Fernandez/Fondew(stage name)

I would like to thank you for your interesting blog. I was so enthralled by it that once in a while I would scroll down and see how far away I was from the ending- hoping that magically more stories would appear and never end, it was just that interesting to me. These types of blogs are so helpful to beginning comics and I really appreciate them, let's new comics realize that- (as steve martin would say) Comedy is not Pretty. So thank you again Ms./Mrs. Fox for you're blog.Hope to hear more of your insight of the comedy world.

The Mother of all Comedians

Thursday, February 28, 2008

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