The other day last minute I decided to go to Costco for just a few things. When I went to look for my card I realised it must be at home. I went to the counter to get a day pass. First let me say this dont go to Costco on the weekend.... Its a mad house. I stood at the end of a line of 4 people with three people behind the counter working as fast as they can to service us all. Just as Im waiting sure enough some idiot just walks up and cuts the line. No one says anything. I now have to decide if I should be the Bitch and say something. Sure enough I speak up... Excuse me but we are all in line over here. Well I was in line over there. Sure enough there was another line for just the one guy on the side of the counter and he told her to go over to our bank of service people. Sorry. Not to be made to feel like I was out of line to the others waiting I say.... you know they should have a rope like at the bank or numbers like at the deli. Nothing. Am I the only one who doesnt like waiting???
When my turn comes they ask me for my licence. I take it out and notice. Its expired. WTF!! I guess with all that has been going on in my life I forgot to check. I finished up my quick shopping..... Quick for me is an hour at Costco. I feel this strange need to look at everything. So $165 later Im back in my car with a ton of paper products and more fruit than any 3 people could eat before spoiling and $60 dollars worth of beef. Let me say that I never thought I would ever by $60 dollars in beef and get only 5 steaks out of it. I will be eating plums for breakfast lunch and dinner and I will freeze the beef and dole it out like its gold.
I checked though the mail and found my letter from the dmv saying I needed to renew.... in person. I would need 6 points of identification. My expired licence would count as one... if it was valid it would be worth 4. I have a current passport that would be worth 4 point. I needed just one more. Birth Certificate..... HA!!!!! Im a woman and changed my name Robin Harlan no longer exists.... I would need to bring my marriage certificate.... I dont know where it is? I can bring an IRS statement... that would mean getting my husband involved. A health insurance card..... counts as one and that is what I used. Its like playing bridge. I am grateful to have health insurance for the obvious reasons and the fact that the card counts as one point! I also need a letter with my name and address from the government.... I find something in the draw and grab it and go,
I have to get my car inspected also.. so I decide to make a day of it. I decided to go at 2 hoping to miss the lunch crowd. Well that sounded like a good plan... but who knew that so many people had free time during the day? I went to the Edison branch. Everyone says that things have gotten so much better since they privatised the DMV.... I wasn't so sure. The first thing you see when you walk in is a sign on the door saying no cell phones in use allowed inside. I walk up to the receptionist desk. There is a cop standing there also. I stand on line and wait my turn and hear people getting upset because they don't have the proper id... thus the cop.
He checks all my id and then I hand him the letter with my address. He says the card I brought saying I needed to fill out and renew my licence was enough. Might be nice if the card stated that somewhere on it.
I am told to go to the next table to get a blue card. It takes a second to get it. There are 4 women handing out the blue cards. The blue cards are nothing more than a number to tell you when its your turn. I have number 26. I ask what number are they on none of the 4 women know.
I look for a seat. Who looks like there not contagious or have lice. Nothing against immagrints but it looked like the immigration office and not the DMV. Edison has a large Indian population. Highland park has religious Jews. There were Latinas and Asians and and equal amount of white trash and the only black persons were working behind the counter. There was a young mom who's son wanted her attention. She told him to shut the fuck up. No shit in public. He wanted soda.... finally she got him one an he dropped it and she hit him. He couldnt have been more than 3. Im watching all this like its Jerry Springer wondering if Im the only one appalled. There are signs every 3 feet saying no cell phones allowed. The man across from me is on his phone having an argument and trying to make a business deal. There at number 11....
There are 2 windows open for drivers licences. Two. Why are there 4 women handing out numbers and only 2 windows to process licences. Why do they need 4 women to hand out a number??? They call the guy next to me up to the window and a nice lady in her 60s sits down next to me. She had been sitting next to a family with 3 kids and a baby making a racket. We talk a little and shes a realtor. I mention the cast of characters in this place. We talk about the mom hitting the kid. I never hit my kids never. I was hit and spanked and I blame it for me becoming a comic. It just makes you hate the people your suppose to love and not trust them. Now that this one guy is on his cell phone the entire room it seems has gotten on their phones.
Finally they call my number. The woman behind the counter is lovely and it goes rather smoothly. Then I realise that they are going to take my photo with my horrific hair cut. Yes it still is bothering me. My hair looks like a blind man with hedge clippers cut it. ... Two weeks later. Sure enough this hair cut will live on for the next 3 years when ever I look at the dam licence.
It took two hours. I went to the inspection station and was in and out in under 15 minutes. I thought I had entered a parallel universe.
Getting up again to do stand up has been going well. Except for the fact that I have felt anxious before each show . I have in general been kind of edgy. Lets face it ... it has been a shitty summer for me. First my brother, then my vacation where I had emergency dental work and got what I thought was flea bites all over my feet. It turns out that I have detrophic exceama what ever you do..... do not google image this. It started out as a small looking bites on my feet. When I came home I noticed I had some itchy bumps on my hands. Two weeks ago I got a huge outbreak all over my hands and feet and ran to the dermatologist. He took one look and said. Oh you have Chronic Detrophic Eczema I will write you a script. Chronic!!!
You mean I will have this all the time. No he says just on and off. It brought on from stress and an allergic response. He told me it happens most to people who suffer from allergic asthma or hay fever. This is me. I was devastated and very itchy. I got stressed and it got worse. I performed a fantastic set and it was the only relief I had that day.... the performance took all my focus off my itch hands. I later got a secondary rash on my back that I can hardly feel unless the rashes on my hands and feet quite down....then its all I can feel.
For years i wondered how health food stores stayed in business. Now I know its for people over 45 who get things that their doctors only know how to treat the symptom. Since getting this diagnosis I have spent day and night researching this illness. I have found out that lack of B12 and Iron is part of the problem.... I have both. My gut is leaky..... at least thats what they say....online and my liver needs cleansing. I need to take B13 Iron a multi and calcium everyday which I have been doing like my religion. I rub on it Hydrogen Peroxide and take vinegar soaks, or tea soaks. I also need to find White Oak bark , fire bush leaves to make a tea, flax seed oil, milk thistle, evening of primrose and a partridge in a pear tree. Im doing yoga and Im meditating 2 times a day. I am officially an old piece of shit. A great deal of this is due to running myself down to the point I was afraid of....... I burnt the candle on both ends and now Im itchy from it.
Im going to talk to an immunologist. I cant have this... here is why. I am a complainer when it comes to my well being. If Im cold .... I will announce it to all who will listen. If Im tiered I will do the same. If my feet are sore.... and so on. My poor family and friends Im like 1010 wins every 10 minutes you get the eczema report. Its flairing on my hands now but my feet are fine today.
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