And the burning the candle at both ends award goes to me.
If you read this blog or know me you are aware of just how out of control and unbalanced my life is. Nothing in my life other than my children ever took this much work and dedication. I will spare you the complete laundry list of how busy I am.... but lets just say that I am working 5 nights a week taking Mondays and Thrus off. Once every six weeks or so its 6 nights a week. And yes I once worked 14 days in a row. I spent so many nights struggling for stage time that now that I have it I feel I need to do it. I did have to actually start to consider if it is worth doing Everything offered. I was offered a gig at a major comedy chain in WEST VIRGINIA... It would mean being gone 5 nights and driving 1000 miles for $400. I turned it down. I have to work smart as well as hard now... I have very little Hard left. My personal life is at an all time low. Lets just say the 30 balls I keep in the air at one time are hitting the floor fast and hard...taking a toll on me.
I can compartmentalize my life and keep personal and performer apart most of the time. Lets just say that both lives right now are at odds. I am faced with Sophie Choices all the time. The stress is horrible. Yet my performances are getting better and my writing has been flowing more than it has in months. I have never been more fulfilled in one area of my life and so empty and alone in others.
I am exhausted. I am emotionally drained. It never gets easier doing stand up it just gets different. I am strong on stage, Im fearless and can do crowd work and zig and zag...I am getting lighter on my feet and can do the rope a dope, I am undefeated and I know that if I dont slow down........ Im gonna get knocked out and wind up with parkensons from the blow to the head.
I need to work 2 nights during the week and 2 nights on the weekends yes to me thats cutting down. Truth be told..... Right now Id like to run away from my real life and just do stand up day and night and not have to think about the mess my life feels like right now. Comedy is my haven and my prison. I am obsessed and driven..... I am in denial and dellusional. I cant see the forest for the trees.... I cant tell if Im in a forest or a desert.
Comments are below
It's Funny, Robin
Posted on 04/09/2008 at 02:21 PM by Adam Sank
You and I are at such different places at the moment. I am consistently turning down gigs these days because I simply don't want to do them.
My priorities have changed dramatically. I'm more concerned with having a good life these days than with having a good comedy career. I look back over the last five years and am struck by how little time I have spent just doing things I enjoy with people I enjoy... instead of sitting in the back of a dark room waiting to go up and do 10 minutes in front of a bunch of strangers.
I still love performing, getting attention, being creative and so forth. But I just have no patience for all the crap that comes with it at the moment.
Life is about choices. If your choice right now is stand-up above all else, I support you 100%.
But do be careful about missing those trees...
Other than comedy right now...
Posted on 04/09/2008 at 02:41 PM by Robin Fox
Nothing in my life is enjoyable. Home is work Family is me helping everyone and nothing in return....they cant either through health or age or their own busy lives. Friends....??? If I want to see them its entertaining them and having them over and cooking and more cleaning. I do have a freind or two to go for a cup of coffee. But then the pain just spills out and its not coffee its Therapy. The friends I enjoy most are in comedy. I try to ask other women in my situation what they do and I have come to find out...... there arent many in my situation. No wonder there are so few middle aged Moms doing Stand up.... its like putting a camel through the eye of a needle. I often wonder why people quit. Is it from lack of progessing? Is it they wake up and figure out they arent funny? Or is it that the toll is to great? I would love to have someone show me how this is all done. I cant find the balance. Truthfully to do this with the life I have I think there can be no balance. It is making a decision what balls will have to fall and what will be held.
comedy does exact a toll
Posted on 04/09/2008 at 06:59 PM by Brent Dawson
comedy has cost me family members, friends, a marriage, promotions, etc.
it is such a painful journey for many (many of my friends have suffered the same fates) and i'm not always sure why that is so.
the most important question i asked myself and continue to ask myself, amid the cavalcade of other questions (is this worth it, why do you continue to subject yourself to such ridicule, why am i driving 400 miles to perform in bowling alley,...)was, at the end of the day, which choice makes me more me? if being me has consequences, i can live with that.
So its just Brent and I
Posted on 04/10/2008 at 10:12 PM by Robin Fox
Who are working too hard and are off balance. I have seen Adam in the past burn the candle too but he it seems has seen the light....and not the red one.
I have a local tv ala waynes world show this Friday night. I thought it would be an all night thing and now I see I will be done by 8 :45pm . My first thought is should I call this one or that one to see if I can get a spot. Carl is busy and its a perfect night to work. It is also a perfect night to meet a friend and go for a cup of coffee or a drink. Perfect to talk to my daughter or go to bed at a decent hour. Will see. I thought it was going to be a 10 minute set for this thing and now Im told 5. I hate 5. 5 in someways for me is harder than 45. I hate feeling before a set that I dont want to do it.....and especially for now pay. And giving away material when I know someone will profit and not me. 5 I HATE 5.
Hey Robin, YOU ARE BIONIC
Posted on 04/13/2008 at 01:04 AM by Lorali
Lorali here. We worked together 2 years ago. I'm a wife and mother and have run at least 4 rooms over the last 6 years. I take a break whenever my life gets out of balance. And that's easy to figure out. If I start doing my set at the supermarket, I need a break. The second I use my child in a bit, break time. And if I'm not having fun, I have to have a break. We worked together at RB's Tex-Mex(on the Westside of NY).
Sure I remember you!
Posted on 04/13/2008 at 03:08 AM by Robin Fox
It was one of the most memorable nights of comedy I will ever remember. It was a Soapbox show. Funny thing was no one who was a regular on the soapbox was on the show. I barked for several hours standing in 90 degree heat infornt of a running icecream truck....shouting out a specific barker script. For hours on end. Who was going to put me up otherwise at that point in time. When I was rushed into the room I was on the street one second and on the stage in the next with just a tiny bit of time for a pee break. I killed! I remember many of the comics watching saying wow your funny....very shocked in fact. I see a few of them still working. What I proved to myself that night is how bad I wanted in place in comedy. No one would put ;me up in the city.... That was then and look, I worked and worked and worked and today I am passed at several clubs and working more than I can keep up with sometimes. I dont know how I did some of the things I did back then. I had no plan B i guess!!! I never saw you perform Lorali.....but you were a most amazing barker!!!! You had it down to an art form. Glad to hear from you glad you remembered me.
I am happy to report
Posted on 04/15/2008 at 01:52 AM by Robin Fox
That Im only working 2 nights this week. I need a break. Im exhausted. I have a very intense and emotional week coming up and need to take it a bit easier. I have to cook for the holiday .... the shopping and cleaning and all that goes into making this is more than enough work for me. I need to pull back for a few weeks. I need to write more and work on a press kit and my website that looks like shit right now. On the stage I have grown and become a comic that I want to be for a club crowd. Now I am working on writing material that is just as funny but for corporate shows. I want to get on a cruise ship and do gigs for large womens groups and the goal of being hysterical and clean is really daunting. Also finding the right venue to do these jokes and practice them is a challenge too. For now the work will be done sitting down (writing) a bit more and less standing up.
Comedy will Kill Me
Posted on 04/17/2008 at 08:12 PM by Andy Kaufman
I am not burning the candle at both ends, I am also burning it in the middle. I know it is my destiny to be killed by my comedy. I am down to two or three shows a week and my energy level is not what it used to be, but that is because I have a torn apart and re-built body which I will rest when I am dead.
My family has been magnificent and I rest when I need to. I am a housewife, a school teach, a Dad, a student, disabled, hurt and ready to go the distance. I am looking forward to the road.
Comedy will kill me.
Your Pal
Andy
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