My biggest Fan.

My brother Craig died this past Thursday July 10th. He died of Cancer. He had a lousy time fighting this illness. The only glimmer of good that came out of it was that my brother and my entire family bonded in a way we never had before his illness.

My brother was my biggest fan. He was positive that I was to be the next big female comic .... not since Rosanne he would tell me. Your gonna be bigger than her cause your not nuts in the head like her. He was a Psychologist PHD. We became very close during these past 20 months of his illness. I shared moments with him that were so warm and special. I have been dreadfully sad even before his passing. When I got the call from my other brother Gary  that Craig had died.... a pain took over me that was and is like nothing I can describe. A grief and a hurt and a feeling like a part of yourself has been ripped out of you.

I think I was working myself so hard these past 20 months in hopes that something big would happen that my brother could see happen for me.  He was sure that it was just around the corner for me.  On his last few visits home to NJ he saw me perform several times.  He never tired of my act.  He was the best fan you could ever have.   I cancelled all my shows for the next several weeks. I have not been to my home club in a month due to working myself into anemia and bronchitis and mental exhaustion being so emotionally on edge from all of this even before he passed. I cant imagine making people laugh right now. I am so sad. I am beyond sad.

 I worked so hard these past 5 years that I have very few civilian  friends anymore. I don't have time for them. I worked 3 weeknights a week and most weekends. The 2 nights a week I was home I would crash. I needed some friends to lean on during all of this.... few civilians were to be found. Put nothing into a friendship..... you cant expect much out I guess. Then again.... shame on some of them. A phone call once and a while might have been nice.

 The closest friend I had and I spent the most time with during Craigs illness was Craig. We I chatted several nights a week after I finished comedy in the middle of the night and would video chat into the early morning. I would tell him new jokes I would tell him jokes that my friends told that night on stage. He would begin most of our conversations upset and in tears and over several hours I would have the two of us laughing and pull him out of the black hole he had fallen into. I cried with him but tried to be strong. When his cancer returned after a brief remission I didn't cry. I told myself that I would wait till he died to cry, there would be plenty of time then. Every second he was here I would enjoy him.  

Now he's gone. I fear there is no limit to my grief yet, I know there is. It comes in waves the grief. Because I have so few relationships anymore due to comedy.... I spent today mostly alone. Seeing Adams post and the comments that were left were amazingly comforting. I would read them over and over. I receive quite a few emails too. My comedy friends were there.... as many of them had been all along.

Right now, making people laugh seems like the last thing I want to do. I know I will get back up but now its not time. I am angry , sad,  hungry, nicotine craving...out of my mind and Craig is gone.

I'm a Jew so was Craig. In Jewish tradition you die and they rush you into the ground. Then you eat. You get one day to plan a funeral and a lunch.. Sometimes they extend it.... but you don't hang around. In Jewish tradition... the body is never alone. Till it is buried. My brother is being cremated. Not forbidden in my faith just not our custom. Due to a cremation delay in Fresno.... it might be as many as 14 days or more till his cremation is complete.  Jewish tradition says Shiva... the period of mourning cant formally start until that time. My poor parents and the rest of my family are in a holding pattern until this happens. I am not used to this. I have been going to funerals for years. There is a comfort in ritual. In knowing what to do next. I don't know what I should be doing. I went to Temple tonight I wanted to say Kaddish the mourners prayer. I am far from religious. I was looking for comfort in the familiar. I was told that I'm not a mourner till after the funeral . Technically I shouldn't say this prayer till then. Due to my brothers wishes to be cremated. ..... I'm in mourners limbo here. Since he wont be cremated for some time now..... We aren't to have a Shiva till then. This is how it is.... I think of every funeral I have been to where friends and family are together. There is a comfort in that.
I don't have it and I'm upset. The service tonight was comforting. It was outdoors in a court yard under the sky. For a few moments I felt comfort. Other than this... The comedy community was the only comfort I had today. I thank you all for your kindness and your comfort. It meant more than you can ever know.

Comedy Well Done...

So the big night has come and gone. It was the Premier of the pilot of "Falling in Love with Mike Bocchetti" and comedy show. It was held in an "A" room of one of the best clubs in the city Comix. I was very lucky to be asked to be part of this short film.  Then to be able to perform stand up the same night was a big bonus.

I had never been involved in anything like this before and it was all very exciting for me.  The project was starring  the wonderful funny man Mike Bocchetti  It was written and directed by Jay Nog.  I didn't know when filming this thing that several other comedy friends were in this project including the very funny Emily Epstein and   Laura Nickiforchuck.   I have known Emily since the first open mics that we did every week and week out at the Morrison Motel.  I miss those days of seeing her all the time.    This entire experience was so rewarding in ways that I never expected.  

Jay had asked me to audition for this project.  I was thrilled to be asked.  Unfortunately the day of the audition I had car problems and didn't want to risk going into the city.   Much to my surprise  Jay a few weeks later gave me the part without an audition.   Okay so I'm old , I'm a Mom,  I'm a Jew  so I was type cast  ..... what ever!!!   I'm in!!!

It was a really hectic day of Filming .We started early in the morning and I had to leave filming early to be at a show in Philly that night.   I  sometimes cant believe all that I do in a single day....  And being a mom is hectic but nothing like being a mom and a comedian  too.  I found while filming that my improv skills helped tremendously with acting and  my comedic ability  to think on my feet made it fun and easy.

We had a great time doing this project.  Jay was patient and so nice to work with.  Mike is maybe one of the sweetest men in comedy.   

Jay told us that he had made plans to premiere the film at Comix and that we would all get to perform.  He was planning on inviting some major industry to the show.   I was busy gathering some family and friends to come out to see this.   In my head.... It was to be one of those Entertainment Tonight   moments.   I saw light bulbs flashing for some strange reason and a red carpet. Not... but still fabulous!   Carl had a business trip to attend and wanted me to go with him.  Of course.... it coincided with 4 big  shows  I had to do.  This one at Comix and another at Gotham next week and  another at the former Laugh Factory. I also had a weekend booked in Cherry Hill featuring.   How can I go to California?  Yes to see my brother but he was in treatment in Las Vegas.  So I had to pass.  This is the biggest 11 days in my comedy lifetime!   

Carl took my daughter instead with him on this business trip / vacation.  Just a few days before he was set to go.... I got an email cancelling the Gotham show.   The charity producing the show hadn't mentioned the show in their most recent newsletter and having an audience looked to be a problem.  I more than understood having produced shows myself.  So scratch that one off the list.   Then another email came about the Laugh Factory/ Times Sq Art center. show... the show had to be put off due at least for a month or so for reasons I cant go into on here. We plan God laughs.  

The comedy screening show at Comix was a blast.  I love this club.  It is one of the nicest in the city .  It was the first club I passed at in NYC and I love to perform here.  It is on 14th street just east of 9th.  The neighborhood is one of the coolest places in the city now.  Not so true 25 years ago when I went to the Old Homestead for dinner with my soon to be in laws for the first time.   It is the former meat packing district.  Back then It was a good neighbor hood to get shot in.   Seedy to the 10th degree the Bowery in many way felt nicer and safer.  Now both places I couldn't afford to pay for monthly parking no less live there.

I will never forget that meal for as long as I live.  My father in law ordered prime rib well done.  When they brought it to him it was rare and he couldn't eat it.  The waiters were the most surly old school NYC nasty white lab coat wearing bastards you could ever meet outside of a busy deli.  The waiter looked at the slab of black and blue meat and held his arm straight out  it to his side  then tilted his hand and through it into the trash.  Not only throwing out the meat but the vegetables and potatoes .    Moments later he came out with another beautiful prime rib.   It was a perfect  medium with a light pink center.  My father in law wouldn't eat anything pink.   He called the waiter over and asked if they could put it in the oven for just a few moments longer and it would be just like he would like it.  Sure enough.... the waiter grabs his plate.... holds it out to the side and tosses the meat in the trash.  The third time the meat came out well done and the perfect shade of cardboard gray and everyone was happy.  More and more that NY is not longer around.  Its a good thing except for now finding parking is a problem....

The show started on time despite an unfortunate problem with the clubs ability to play the DVD of the film.   The sound system and the DVD weren't compatible.   They tried and tried but unfortunately they were not able to show the project.   Jay opened the show and did a strong 15.  I really don't know how he was able to stay composed and pull it off with all the aggravation that had gone on right before the show.   I went on next.   I wanted to perform my set a few nights before but I wasn't booked anywhere so this was my first time up since the weekend.

I had been in Cherry Hill the weekend before and had a great 2 shows where I featured 2 nights in a row doing 30- 35 minute sets.    Doing a feature set verses a showcase set.... I will take the feature set hands down every time.  It is so much easier to do a great 30  as opposed to a killer 10.   Truth be told to make it in this industry, it is key to have a killer 5 clean.   I'm at this more than 5 years and I'm not happy with my clean 5.  My naughty not dirty 5 is good and has gotten me where I am but if I want bigger and better things  I need to work on stronger and more unique 5. 

I had a very good set and opened up the room, this has been my forte in showcase shows lately.   I wasn't able to hang out after the show since I had  2 shows up at Ha!.  So I thanked Jay and the other comics and drove uptown.

Many of the newer comics help out at the Ha! by working the door.  I really never had to do this on a frequent basis.  I was moved to hosting shortly after starting at the club and only did it when they were in a jam.   I got to the club an hour early and there was no one to work the door.  The new guy  who normally would be doing it was hosting for the first time that night.   So when management asked me if I would mind doing the door for an hour....  I figured it was a nice night outside.  Sure.

I had shown up to the club an hour early  and here it is 10:30 and I'm working the door when I could have been downtown at Comix hanging out .   I was so afraid I would be late I jumped the gun and left.   A few short hours ago I feel like a star and now I'm standing outside a club pointing people down the stairs.  You got to love this business  the highs and lows come faster than a roller coaster.

I did the 11:30 show ,the great thing about my home club is I'm totally relaxed onstage.  I did the same set I did downtown and it was as Yogi Berra would say.  Dejah vu all over again.  I was to host the 12:30 but it got cancelled.   I  took my time leaving the club chatting with a few of the other comedians.  When I headed outside I walked 2 blocks down to 48th Street my car was 2 avenues away on 9th.   Just then the sky opened and it started raining .   I darted from building to building from over hang to over hang from  scaffold to hugging the building like a bug on a fridge.... I jumped puddles in my high heal sandals which were soaked by now and finally waited under the over hang of Starbucks for it to slow down.  20 minutes later it was still going strong and showed no sign of letting up.  I was tiered  and I decided to just get soaked.   I ran down the block fuddled for my keys and jumped in the car.  

It was one thirty.    I headed to the Lincoln tunnel where I waited to get into the tube for almost a half hour.    Then once in the tunnel traffic stopped completely.  I sat not moving at all for about 20 minutes.    Without traffic at this time of night takes me 45 -50 minutes to get home.  Once out of the tunnel they are redirecting traffic off the helix and through the Hoboken exit.  I decide to turn on my GPS and go home via Hoboken and get on the Turnpike down by the  Holland tunnel.  Big mistake.   My GPS lost its signal due to the heavy rain and I spent another 20 minutes lost in Hoboken.  This is quite a feet considering the entire town is less then 5 square miles.  Eventually  I found my way to the turnpike and at this point the rain was coming down in sheets.  If you know me you know that I have a huge fear of driving in the rain, since a mishap I had in my car last October where I lost control of the car in the rain and  jumped the median did a 180 and wound up from the express lane into the local facing oncoming traffic.  I wanted to pull over but I wanted to get home and go to bed too. Cars were parking under the overpasses for going driving till it let up.  I chose instead to drive the remaining 35 miles in the slow lane driving home at 30 miles an hour.   When I got home it was after 4 am.   I had left my home that afternoon at 6pm.  

What did  I learn from all of this?   Parking sucks everywhere in NYC.   (but I knew that)  I still have stage fright on shows that I perceive as special.  I am further than I dreamed I would be at this time in comedy and at the same time....   I'm still not to big to work a door. ...and be a team player.   I learned to listen to the weather reports and carry an umbrella.  To always pee before leaving the club.... you don't know how long it will take to get home.  GPS is great but not in the rain sometimes.  And lastly.... that this is all so real and all so unbelievable to me.  Everyday its like walking on the moon.  Who knew this would be my life.    Was the night a bad one.  Far from it.   It  was a great night.   Some how if I have a great show..... all the other things just don't seem to bother me.   They just come with the meal.

This week I will be at Ha! on Tuesday  June 10th and Sat. June 14th.  I am performing for the Gay Boys at the Ice Palace on Thursday night...   the rest of my calendar can be found on my website....................   www.robinfoxcomedy.com

Five minutes at a time...

I have to say that taking off 2 weeks and cutting back is something I have been saying I should do for sometime. It took running myself down to a nub and getting sick to make me take the time not only to make my body feel better but give my mind and soul a much needed break. As most newer comics we are drummed into our heads that the way to become working comics is simple, stage time, stage time and more stage time.

I started in comedy in my early 40s and that was the only early thing about it. People tell me all the time....well Rosanne started late.... wrong, she started in her early 30s. They say the same about Phylis Diller and Joan Rivers I started after both of them. Factor into that I heard it takes 7 years to become a working comic at a minimum and that was only if you were funny and had some talent. Seven Years that's too long I told myself. I decided that if I worked really hard I could maybe shave off a year or two. Whats the point in working so hard if your too old for anyone to want to book you. So if stage time is road to becoming a comedian then I will have to speed to get there. If most people would do 3 open mics a week I would do 3 a night 3 or 4 nights a week.... from 50 miles outside of NYC no less. Eventually I couldn't stand the open mics anymore. I wanted real stage time! So that was the beginning of the barking and bringing and interning phase. I was lucky with all the work if I got 3 sets in a week. I so wanted to get into booked shows and get in front of real audiences. I used to complain.... How can you get good at something or learn anything 5 minutes at a time???

Well you can. I'm living Proff. In the end a good showcase set has been more helpful in getting me work than some of the great sets I can do that are 30 mins long. I am lucky that I have the balance of working in the city and doing 6 to 10 minute sets and on the weekends featuring at clubs. This became very obvious to me this week. A club I perform at had a showcase of top headliners. These comics play the road but the best road show. Foxwoods, Vegas, the Borgatta etc. Each and everyone of these comedians a amazingly talented and successful. There were 11 of them. Most of them didn't do well it was a packed house of mostly older middle aged people. Most of the comics were 40 or older men. It was the perfect audience married middle to upper middle class couples and married people. Yet comic after comic tanked. Some took it on the chin others made quips at the person who asked them to do the gig. One comic blamed a friend for being there who he said was a jinx because every time hes at a show he bombs.

The MC started the show by saying we got 11 comics to put on so lets start the show. So the first comic had to open to a non warmed up room. The only non headliner was my friend Chris this was to be his challenge. He went up and since he was starting a cold room he truly struggled in his first 5 minutes some jokes hit some didn't. People were ordering food and getting their drinks. He took the bullet.... then about half way through he did a joke that hit hard and got them back. He had a solid set from then on. He got off stage and he walked over to the table in the rear of the club were I was. I looked defeated. I told him that for the first comic of the night he should be very proud of himself. He had to do the job the MC is suppose to do and he had nothing to be ashamed of. In hindsight he might have wanted to do some crowd work first I don't know if he has those skills yet I think he most likely does, he hosts all the time.

The big shots went up and folded one after the other. There were a few exceptions JJ Ramerez had a solid set. He works the clubs in NYC and is used to doing 10 minutes and he did crowd work and he had a great set. Some of the comics bailed on their sets. If after 4 minutes they saw the audience wasn't loving them they had enough. I was there just to watch that night. I sat there thinking I hope a woman is going up there. I knew If I could get up I would have a great set. They were my target audience.... middle aged with kids. A woman comic name Kira S went up about number 6 she not only opened the room wide open she destroyed. She is an LA comic and although she headlines all over the US when in LA she performs showcase sets. Its 7 minutes in LA most nights she told me. She did 10 and it was non stop KILL. The next comic a magician jumped the stage after minutes. Al Lubel went up and had a fantastic set.... they loved him. Then the show closed out with two comics performing at the same time. One would do a rant and the other would follow with his jokes on the same topic. It was good but I have seen one of the two comics do a headliner set at a major club in the city and he was a fraction as funny as I know him to be.

Headliners have the luxury of the long set. They can establish a rapport and take there time grabbing an audience. They also have the advantage that the audience many times is there to see them and that is why they came. Seven or so of the 11 headliners tanked.... having to limit a set to 8 to 10 mins.

For now a good showcase set is very important to me. I have been asked to do some major auditions in the past two years and a showcase set isn't just a best of..... its a set that lets an audience get a true sense of your comedic style and point of view. I think that it should have killer opening joke that establishes who you are some kind of arc and a strong and memorable closer. Anytime I have been passed at a club it wasn't because I just did a killer 30. No they gave me a guest spot and I had to kill in under 6 minutes. Contests are the same way except you need several of these short and strong sets. Al Lubel had a great set .... when he appears on TV they give him 6 to 8 minutes.... he has perfected his short set and that's why I think he did so well.

When I was fortunate finally got passed at a club in the city ( I did a tight 5) I was now able to do more sets in a night and in a week than I ever before. I was like a person who had been starving and then was now at an all you can eat buffet. I gorged myself with stage time. I was doing as many weeks 20 or more sets. I often worked 6 nights a week. I was working from early in the evening to the wee hours of the morning. This is my fast track . This is my gym. I figured I'd work and write and work and work. I have to say it really has made me a stronger comic. It also was insane. I forget I'm only flesh and blood and too much of anything is never good. It took me becoming so run down to see this. I knew it in my head long before I got sick. I often blogged about it. I knew it and yet I didn't slow down..... I was addicted to it. Cutting down seemed in someways like giving up the race. Like most things if you do too much you get diminishing returns. I should have learned this long ago from being a full time mommy and never getting much down time. Live and learn ....sometimes the hard way. I'm stupid that way.


So tonight I had a feature spot in South NJ. It was at a club and was 75 miles away. I was booked to do 30 minutes. I planned on getting there and using the 45 minutes before the show to center myself and prepare. My brother called from California and I took his call. I know my material I will be fine I told myself. It was an upsetting call but I was able to lock it up and go up and have a really great show. I would say it was a kill I wish I taped it. It was a fundraiser for breast cancer and I had a party up there. I absolutely felt more comfortable on stage than I have in ages. After the show people came up to me and were very nice. I even got a few new myspace friends out of the night. A few people said that I came off so relaxed so at ease someone else used the words confidently funny. Wow that was a great feeling.

I am so glad I took a break. Its a day later now and I just got back from the same club. I was asked to do 25 instead of the 35 the night before. I decided to cut my Costo bit. Unfortunately the entire lead in to the joke is a call back to my closer. I had a horrible headache and it was subsiding as I took the stage. The club was half filled and the audience was sitting away from the stage. I found it hard to connect at first. I cant say I did as well as the night before but it was a solid set. I never got in the zone and for some reason I was having trouble following the set list in my mind. I zigged away from the set I was doing to do something spontaneous an then found myself further ahead in my set. I mentioned my sons name on one joke that I do later in the set and his name is the punchline in a later joke. I had to invent a 3rd child. I wasn't focused. Its strange because the night before the pressure of a big room and a long drive getting there and my brother calling me didn't effect me at all. I'm grateful that my material is tried an true and was able to make up for any control I might have lost and pull off a solid set. I did get thrown early on by a killer joke landing soft. WTF.
The night before an applause break tonight just average laughs. I am addicted to killing and often anything less feels like a let down. I like that feeling of leaving the stage and feeling .... and that's hows its done! Tonight I left the stage feeling I'm glad this is done. So the journey continues.

This week I will be performing at Comix on Tuesday night. The show starts at 8pm. It will be the premiere of the pilot I did for Howard Stern TV called Falling in Love with Mike Bochetti. It is going to be an amazing night. Jay Nog wrote and directed the show . After the viewing of the show we will performing stand up... The Comedians performing will be Mike Boshetti , Jay Nog , Emily Epstien ,Laura Nickforchuk and myself. It was so much fun filming this pilot and cant wait to see the final cut. I will be doing my showcase set at one of my favorite clubs in the city. Sunday and Monday nights I will be working honing the set to get it just right and hope to do as many shows as I can to get this one just right.

check out my website at www.robinfoxcomedy.com

Parking for the fun of it.....

Still taking it a bit slower this week. I took Sunday off and worked on Monday I'm off till this weekend when I will be performing as feature in Cherry Hill for the weekend. They offered me a hotel room and I think I might even take it since it will save me on driving and Gas. I was working so hard before I got sick that I have to say that I wasn't having all that much fun up on stage. Not really. If it was a big gig like the show I did for a Temple I had fear and dread until I got up there and got the first big laugh. I also would leave my home feeling truly like this is a job. I found myself not feeling mentally prepared..... I had been feeling this way since my LCS audition in early March. Anemia will do that to you. Yet my sets were good and I was coming up with new stuff once every other week or so and adding an additional 15 or more minutes to my arsenal
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I did a show in the East Village two weeks ago. I dreaded only going there because of the parking. Its horrific down there... WHY?? no really WHY?? does every hipster own a car?( the abobe photo is not my car but will give you an idea of what I did)
I found a spot and I don't know how I did it but I left an 18th of an inch in front and in the rear between me and the two cars. So much so I drew a crowd squeezing my Marrono into the spot. I prayed that one of the two parties would be gone come the end of the night. The guy who runs the bakery on 12th and ave A came out and later gave me a biscotti on the house for doing such an amazing parking job. Sheer will.... it a metaphor for my entire life and comedy career.

The show was run by a wonderful man named Tom. It was his Ladies Gone Funny show. I was the headliner. Tom Hosted and then his opener does a good 15 and then 4 other girls did 8 to 10 and then I closed the show with 30. 30 minutes in NYC is a gift. Lori Summers opened the show. I have always liked her. She was the host of my graduation show I did at Gotham when I took a class there over 5 years ago. I mentioned to her that I had been feeling like I hit a wall so to speak in comedy. That it all felt so hard and I just didn't know what was next and felt very lost for the first time in a very long time. She told me.... Welcome to the 6 year slump. She explained that the steaks had risen and that it was feeling more like work because in fact that is what it had started to become. I'm making money ... My weekends are filling up and I'm a working comic. Not an A Lister or even a C Lister but a working comic. I feature now most every booked gig I get now or headline if it is a group I do especially well with. Its work. The hours, the driving, the bills, the business end....and its a huge adjustment. I asked her what she found helped her when she got to this point and she said. You have to remember when you take the stage that your doing this for the LOVE of it. Hummmmmmmmmmmmmm??? Tom had a music stand on the stage. On it he had notes. The room was full with maybe 20 friendly folks including the comics. I made a few notes just in case.... when in Rome. It was a work out space and very fluid. Coming off being sick it seemed perfect. I loved the show. I was not thinking about my set all that much and tried to just enjoy the show. Racquel Diapice was there and delivered a great set as well as a woman named Cara who was amazing and very new. I thought about it. For the love of it. I got up and just had a conversation..... I did my jokes but it really was about enjoying myself and the audience. It became a joy ... As I was up there I thought how wonderful is this that I feel so good up here. I thought of all the work and work and work.... and then there is this. A room full of people and just having fun with them.

I offered a ride to Union Sq to two of the women comics for no other reason for them to witness my amazing mad parking skills. The two cars were still there and a small crowd gathered to see me get out of this spot. I did it .... it might have taken 20 moves but I did it!

So much for the love of it. Not every show is a love fest. But just remembering that I used to do this for the love and fun of it was a huge emotional vitamin for me. Not to forget I am now taking mega doses of Iron and B12 and feeling so so so much better. So I did a show for a rabid audience of a very popular radio hosts pack of wild men. It was outside of Philly and I was one of 10 women in a room of over 200 men in baseball caps who wasn't a porno star or a stripper. I had been booked originally to be the feature in a three man show. The show was changed last minute that morning turned into a birthday party for this radio guy. I was to feature but instead was asked to do 10-15. The show opened very strong.... then a guy from Sales went up and sucked all the air out of the room. I was next to a room that was hardly listing and mostly standing in the back and at the bar talking. Carl was with me to save me from driving in the rain. Yes I still hate that. I was nervous. I knew what I needed to do. I need to pretend I wasn't shitting in my pants. I started out strong.... I lost them for a joke .... I got them back... then a drunken bitch is talking to me. Oy. She is responding to every joke. She is around 24 yrs old trashy and drunk. Her boyfriend looks like he suffered from fetal alcohol syndrome. Out of no where in my mind... I said something I don't even remember what and shut her up..... The room got quiet and they were on my side. I felt like a bully. She was really not meaning any real harm. But she posed a real threat to my entire set dying on the vine. While I had their attention I did my most 2 filthy joke I have. Ones about oral the other about anal. Hey I said they were dirty. The oral one got an applause break. The anal one got mouths hanging open.... "To far" I say to them and sorta save the bit. I finish up with my closer and I feel like I earned a C plus. Later the owner comes up and tells me that he was very happy with my set. A big comic I know from a show I do in Hoboken came up to me and said that I did the best any female could possibly do in that room. I wasn't that happy with it. Carl loved it. He said you never saw your were nervous. You were strong and in control Okay. I went home and when I went on myspace I found out that the show was in fact changed that morning on air. It was to be as much a party as a comedy show. We bolted after my set. The next night would be a regular three man show. We had a nice crowd Id say of 50 people. I was asked last minute to open the show with 25 and then bring up the guy who as supposed to host. He did so poorly the night before they wanted me first. I was asked to then bring up the headliner and he would close out the show and I could leave.

Before the headliner went up he asked me if I could do another 10. I said sure. I did my husband wants to save the planet routine and did great. As I was leaving I was informed that the hotel was hosting a Swingers night that night and that most of my audience was from that group. Well let me say these people I guess know how to have fun! I had a great time. The staff loved me too and the bartender mentioned that he would see that people found out how well I did. The GM of the club thanked me and said he would have me back as soon as he can. So that was cool. Side bar. One night a girl is on her cell phone outside a hotel Im doing a show at. She is stranded and cant get home her boy friend and her had a fight. There is a man in a suit having a cigerette standing near by. She is asking her friend to come get her. She hangs up and shes what 19- 20 . I go over to her and give her $20 for a cab, she askes me for my address to pay me back. I give her my card and tell her dont worry about it. Im a mom and would hope someone would help my kid in that situation. She gets a cab and leaves. The man standing there introduces himself to me and tells me that what I just did was very nice. He told me that he was the GM of the hotel and that if I ever work there again he would be happy to comp me a room. Fast forward 2 years..... the GM of this club is the same guy and he remembers me from that night. Karma People..... lesson learned.

I returned to my home club in the city after being away for two weeks. I have to say that I was really afraid they would forget about me. Actually the owner of the club called me for my avails, since I hadn't been in all week to give them to the club. I was so reassured. I told him to hold me off for another week so I wouldn't mess up his schedule . The head booker of the club actually sent me a myspace email saying he hoped I was feeling better. So whats the big deal you are thinking. Well if your a NYC comic your not thinking that... you know how disposable we all feel. If not us there is a line from here to LA that is waiting for your spot. When a comic dies in NYC people call the gigs on his schedule to offer their services.... or at least that's the urban legend. Like the looking for an apartment by checking the obituary pages.

I returned to the club and it was fleet week. I love it. Every show was packed with handsome young men and a smattering of young women all in dress whites. They were fantastic audiences and I could talk like a sailor if I wanted to. I found myself laughing on stage. Whats this ENJOYMENT? I had in the middle of one show a nasty heckler. He was drunk and alone. He was old and gay and annoying the waitstaff even before the show. I was doing really well..... and then he shouted out. You suck your a fat ugly lesbian who needs to get donkey punched!!! The audience when ohhhhhh. I held my finger up as if to say don't worry I got this. I then Say "Uncle Rob is that you.... when did you get out of rehab, how sweet of you to come to see me ". The audience whistles and claps He says I'm sorry I'm feeling a bit stupid just now. I say.... so you were clear all day and saved your one minute of zen stupidity for me. Oh and by the way I'm not a lesbian not that there's anything wrong with that..... I'm straight. Actually I'm married 25 years just right now I'm not fucking anyone. I then say something else..... probably.... now Shut the fuck up. and finished my set strongly. As I got off the stage and walked down the center aisle I got several high fives.

I went to the pit were the comedians sit between sets and shows and the host of the show tells them how well I handled my heckler. Just the the owner and a bouncer are taking my heckler out of the show room. He had passed out. I heard later he tried to take his pants off on the street in front of the club.
I felt like I had just passed an amazing initiation. I had someone fuck with me and I won. It made me feel like I am what I have strived for all these years. I am a comedian.... in the truest and most real sense of what I think that may be or not be. Hecklers always scared me. I had a stock line I could use as a shield for years.... but they always hurt my feelings on some level all in all I have had 3 or 4 hecklers in 5 plus years of this I deserved more. Hecklers remind me of the mean kid in 8th grade who just when I was having fun or thinking for a second I was cool would ruin it all and make a nasty comment or joke at my expense. Shutting down a heckler feels like in some way I have learned how to deal with bullies. That I am armed with my wit and my microphone and I can take care of myself. Its liberating.

I did a show in Hoboken the other night . I had been away from that room for almost 11 weeks. I had a 6 minute set. I decided that this is my room. There my crowd ... I decided that I had to kill and nothing less. I had fun. I had a ball. I felt in control. It was one of my very best sets I have ever had. I don't know what has happened and maybe its nothing more than getting more red blood cells going. But I feel better on stage than I have in a long long while. I'm smiling more, I'm laughing up there now. I am.... a least... just for now it seems... doing this because this is what I love to do. I will enjoy it while it lasts Im sure it wont. But I will savor it just the same.

Sick and Tired and better again....

I wrote this a week ago and was too sick and tiered to even spell check it no less post it.......
It was a long time coming and it came..... I ran out of gas, Both ends of the candle met, I shot my load, I finished the entire cake, I walked a long walk off the short Pier, I came and I went, I feel off the wagon and got run over, I punched my last ticket. I crashed and burned.... But can I quit NEVER!

I came home a week ago Sunday and went to bed at 4 am as usual... and in the Morning had to get up early to take care of some family business. I was to work that night again in the city and was faced with that horrible question every mom asks herself around 4 pm... Whats for dinner??? Nothing. The fridge, freezer and cupboards were all empty with enough to throw a meal together. I had been meaning to take a nap but the cleaning people were on their way and I had to be up. ( I hired them because Im working so much My home has gottten too much for me and Hell Ive been cleaning for 25 years) Then they showed up 3 hours late and I could have napped. So once I let them in and gave my son the check for them... I headed to my favorite gate of Hell the suburban supermarket. I ran around the store just buying what ever I could just to have somethings to fall back on for dinner for the week. I got a large chicken and figured 2 dinners out of this bird. I picked up some turkey sausage and some fish and ran around like it was a timed cook off on Top Chef.

Just as I was heading around a corner I see someone I don't wish to see. Lets call her Lorraine Hersey. I used to play Mah Jongg with this woman 7 years ago ( before I started comedy) and I have known her for about 18 years. She is one of those people who runs hot and cold. One time you see her she is your best friend .... full of warmth and compliments...the next time its passive aggressive jabs. Always you have to hear how attractive her husband thinks she is, how she lives on the best street in town...the non view side by the way. Or how her job is so important and she couldn't be complete without it ...not to mention the very big salary she earns. In a word shes a pill. So when I saw her on the coffee Isle I decided we don't need any coffee and moved on to the next isle. Somehow 3 isles down I ran into her in front of the salad dressing. I had been annoyed with her since the last two times I saw her she asked me...... So you still doing your thing? My Thing? Yes its a little hobby I have. You know like your jogging 5 miles 7 days a week. My thing.

Why is it that I cant be a bitch at will. Why cant I bite the bullet and just say ... You know what Lorrine I don't really have the time or the patience to speak with you now. Besides your not interested and if you are its just to judge. Ba Bye. She says Hi. I say We always run into each other here, should have said.... I need to find a new place to shop. She says I hate shopping now. I say why is that. She says...everything is so expensive. I should have said.... but your so rich and thin you hardly eat and you can by all the rice cakes you want. No I say ... I got you beat I hated shopping even before when prices were lower. I have hated it for years. Pause, wheres the oriental dressing? She goes into expert mode and recommends a few and is very friendly. Fuck now I cant be a bitch... it would look unprovoked. The conversation move onto her kids and I mentioned my family's ongoing soap opera. Air kiss good bye. Truth is , I don't want an enemy. I'm a pussy. Because I do have enemies People who I detest.The thing is most of them have no Idea I don't like them.... that isn't the nice way to do things....and God Why do I like being so fucking nice. I don't detest this woman she is of no real harm to me. I don't like her because she isn't that nice, has an annoying voice and I feel often that she feels above me. That pisses me off. I also feel that she feels that she is skinny and that gives her an upper hand over me. She feels she is more in control. I do think that running outside when its 4 degrees is an addiction as much as a hobby and life choice. She is so unimportant to me. However if she was warm and seemed happy to see me the entire bad feelings would vaporise. Why do I even think about this.

The shopping took all of an half hour the check out took a half hour just to get to my turn. Attention store managers.... Your store is busy from 4 to 6. People are buying food for dinner..... hire some checkers and a few baggers while your at it...... its feels like this taking forever..... Paper or Plastic....No I need a gun....to take me out of this misery. This store pisses me off because they stare you down to bag your food. I'm tiered you bag it. So there I am bagging my food and I feel Dizzy. I'm sweaty. I pay and leave. I get home and I'm caring in the 15 bags of stuff that makes no rhyme or reason. My list I forgot to bring with me is sitting on the counter laughing at me. I read it.... not only did I forget the list... I forgot most of the items. I forgot the bread so no lunches...good one robin. i forgot the curry to make the soup I was planning on making with the cauliflower I just bought. I forgot the Chinese noodles that go into my Oriental chicken salad ....for the leftover chicken. No orange juice . I did remember cranberry sauce. I got to put it in the pantry along side of the 4 I already have in there.... terrific robin. I start dinner. Chicken cutlets and pasta. I treated myself to the thin sliced ones saving me the hour of slicing and pounding them myself. Done. While I'm cooking I notice how nice the house looks. All clean, everything put away. This will last all of an hour or two. My leg hurts me I get a stool and sit in front of the stove. I'm stirring sauce its 6pm I need to leave for work at 8. I'm stirring and my arm hurts like a dull ache and so does my back. I put up the water to boil . Put the sauce and the cheese on the cutlets and pre heat the oven to finish the meal. I set the dish in the fridge. I'm so tired I think to have a cup of coffee. I calculate my sleep from the night before 4 hours. I need a nap. I turn down the water to simmer put a lid on it and go to my room and hug the mattress. The imaginary referee in my head counts... ONE< TWO, Three four. I fall asleep ... I'm out. Carl comes home in an hour and sees how tired I am. I'm in a ball of sweat. My son had made the pasta and Carl put the cutlets in the hot oven . Dinner is ready its 7:30. I run into the shower. I'm at the table eating in my bathrobe. I eat a few bites I'm not hungry..............................?????????????????............. I get dressed put my make up on. Blow out my hair. Come down stairs and the den is a mess Carl's shoes are on the floor , my sons homework is on the coffee table , newspapers are on the sofa. The dishes are still on the table and so is the left over food. I quickly put foil on the food and shove it in the fridge. I go to put my shoes on and I feel like lead. Every joint hurts and my head is pounding. I had an upsetting weekend with family and a unhappy thought flashes in my head and I pour cold water on it. I grab my comedy book.... I get my coat. I open the garage door and step onto the first of 3 steps. Im on the second one and I turn around. I have so little energy climbing up the one step back into the house feels like climbing a mountain. I start to cry. I cant do it. I cant go to work. I cant drive, I cant think, I cant be funny.... I cant open the door its to big and heavy. I feel tears roll down my face. I open the door and call Carl. I tell him I cant go in. What am I going to tell the club manager? Its 8 pm and I'm supposed to host 2 shows and be on 4 of them. They will fire me. I sit on the stool by the stove and call my boss and tell him. I'm sick I'm hot and week and I don't know whats wrong with me. I think I could be getting the flu. Every muscle is killing me now. He tells me don't worry feel better. Its okay. I am more upset that I might loose my place at the club after all the hard work I have done ....than the fact that I am just about to pass out.

Its three days later and I'm at the Dr's office for the second time this week. I cant keep my head up. I had blood work done earlier in the week and the results showed that I am deficient in all my B Vitamins and that I am severely anemic. I am 5 points away from a transfusion. The rest of the testing isn't done. They should know by Monday. I have been on web md and diagnosed myself with Cancer, an ulcer, Fibromaragiea, Lyme Disease...and MS. That is when I ran to the doctor. So at this second visit they want me to start coming in for a B12 shot and I am taking iron pills for the anemia. I feel like shit. I am sleeping more than I'm awake for these past 3 days. The house has gone to hell....and so have I. I feel like a Hollywood starlets. Suffering from exhaustion. Without the press release or the fancy hospital.

When I get home the phone rings and its the club wanting my avails. I apologise for being sick and suggest they don't book me next week just in case I have to cancel..... I don't want to mess up the schedule. A huge sigh of relief is off my mind. I'm still working there. I am so insecure in this business that I feel I am not allowed to get sick..
I wake up the next morning Friday and call the booker for a show i am to do in Conn on Sat night. I called her when I got sick and told her my situation. She had a comic on hold just in case I didn't feel up to it. Were good friends and I'm a lucky girl to know her. Carl was to come with me so I wouldn't have to do the 3 hour drive myself.

It was hell getting there the traffic was unreal. It was my first time onstage in 6 days. Linda opened the show. Let me say that Linda Belt is one of the classiest women doing comedy that I have met so far. If you think that I'm nice...... I'm a bitch next to this woman. She is very talented and a rare mix of nice to everyone. She is very supportive and would give you the shirt off her back. She is my favorite female comic and we are so alike it feels like narcissism that I like her so much. She's great...shes like me. HA.
I had hoped to sleep in the car. Since the b12 shot and the iron pills I'm feeling alot better. We put our things in the hotel and I just want to go to bed. We had to eat... I just want to nap. I start to panic a bit about the show. I have my Jewish material .... but I feel off. I'm tiered. Nothing like earlier in the week but tiered. We eat and I feel a bit better I have coffee. We get to the show and Linda opens strong. Uh OH. I don't like following her. Shes so dam good. I feel myself getting psyched out. Then she gives me one of the nicest introductions I have ever gotten. I go up hug her and know I have her full support this woman wants me to kill. I do my Jewish jokes and it feels good to be up there. There Jews a bit on the more conservative side and most over 50. I don't curse, I tone it down. Its going well. I have 25 minutes to fill and as I'm up there I'm editing and refining. I leave out some of my normal jokes to make up for the 10 minutes of Jewish humor. The room is lit full and you can see everyone's face. A man around 75 is sleeping in the corner. One woman is laughing so hard shes scaring me. This guy over hear keeps hitting his wife and she is hitting him. Some lady right upfront is smiling but not laughing and nodding her head. Do I need to see all of you???? Go away... I like comedy the way I like sex.... in the dark with maybe a few candles or the bathroom light on...take your pick.

I flub a joke. Actually i did it right and stopped and thought I flubbed it. Oh fuck. I do it over and joke I'm having a senior moment. I finish the show with my standard closer. I end on a strong up note. Linda comes up and hugs me. I go down and go off to the bathroom. I go outside for some fresh air and check my phone. I am cold. I go to open the door of the Temple and the door is locked. While I'm freezing I am re assessing my entire life. So this is what this career is. This is my thing. I got paid very well tonight. I made what I used to make working part time an entire week in one night. I'm cold. Is it worth it. Robin the nerves and the ups and downs. Did that go well? Why did Carl make that face? Linda asked me if I was tiered? Do I look tiered. I see someone through the door I wave my arms they let me in. This is the most I have moved in 5 days.

On the car ride home Carl review my set. You didn't do this joke, where was that one. I had only 25 minutes I had to edit. Did I curse. No. We review. I'm hungry.
Thoughts drift though my head as we drive through the darkness. My parents, my family, my kids, my routine, my jokes, my brother, I pray I'm just anemic. I'm tired. Not physically right now. I'm brain tired. I need to be taken care of for a few days. I need to relax. I need to laugh and not be making others laugh. I need a big warm bed by myself. I need a beach....with no one I know and no one who cares how big my ass is. ... including me.

My brain cant seem to stop. Here I am all night instead of sleeping after last nights gig.... trying to figure it all out. I'm not working again till Thursday. I need to take time off. I'M booked solid till the end of June. I might take July off. Could I? I envy Adam for taking a new path. I have only one path. Work ...try to kill and more work trying to kill. It dawns on me... I'm killing myself. MY body cant do it. I'm too old. I need to figure it out before my body decides for me what I should do. I wish I was Lindsy or Paris... I need the structure of a rehab to figure out what should be next. I am addicted to proving I can MAKE IT in this business. I need to not prove it to myself. I know I'm a comic in every true sense of the word. I need to PROVE it on paper it seems. TO PROVE.... this is MY THING!! And its something!!! No wonder I won the last request contest. I want that Credit. I need Proof.

Epilogue--- I wrote this a week ago and am all better. I have anemia and I need to take iron and got a B12 shots. I had a virus that because I was so run down knocked me on my ass. I started back working last week and did just 2 sets one on Tues and one on Thursday. I then did Bob Levy's room out in Levittown PA on Friday and on Saturday. I am trying to limit myself to 4 nights a week till I feel 100%. I enjoyed doing comedy this week more than I have in ages. I do this for the love of it and working so hard and getting sick isn't any fun.

Last Requests

I have had to deal with the reality of sickness for the past 18 months or so and when challenged by STEVE to write a blog about what my last requests would be if I was about to die sort of hits too close to home. I am tempted to be either tongue and cheek funny or just plain depressing.

I wouldn't want anyting material... what would that do??? I would wish not to Die that would be my request. Im sure thats not allowed....its like getting one wish and wishing for more wishes. So... I know for sure my first request is God if Im gonna die, please make it painless and fast dont even let me see it coming. Illness is a bitch pain is the worst. Treatments and being so sick you wish you were dead isnt for me. I have told my beloved one to fight when in my heart.... I know Im not a fighter and Im not brave and Im not a fraction of what he is. I tell him to fight because I need him. Im afraid of a world without him. I love him so much I cant imagine a world where he isnt in it. On a lighter note....Who will tell me on a regular basis that I am going to be the NEXT huge success. That I am the Funniest woman on the Planet.... who else would love me so much to make up these delusions. So fast and quick is my first request.

Second request could I get a decent TV credit before I go ??? Live at Gotham Maybe or get to perform at Montreal. Just something so when Im gone and my kids tell my grandchildren that arent here yet..... Grandma was so funny she was a Successful Comedian.... ITS TRUE.

I dont want to be thin from Chemo.... but I would like it if Im not so heavy I need extra paul bearers. While were at it I would like my Tombstone to say in a few years after she rests in peace she will be a size 6.... she was never a size 6.

So I went for dark and somewhat funny.

Lastly I have also moved my blog to http://robinfoxcomedy.blogspot.com/ and will be moving each blog bit by bit what a job! Im not leaving the Soapbox entirely..... Lets see if I can even figure out how to do this. I have to say that going back and reading my earliest blogs has been a huge eye opener. I get to see how I got here from there. I found it very inspiring to see how much blind faith and nieeve I was.... I do see that I just did what ever I could not knowing what was the right path. If this helps anyone just starting out on this journey I will be thrilled to have helped in a small way.

Comments are below
Feeling Your Pain...
Posted on 04/28/2008 at 10:23 PM by Al Wagner

We know this isn't an easy time. You and your beloved are in our thoughts...



Robin, OMG
Posted on 04/29/2008 at 09:17 AM by Andy Kaufman

No fair making the old guy cry, but that is what your blog did. When I lost my sister at 36 it was fast, just a phone call one Sunday afternoon and poof. While devastating beyond description, there have been times when I still think she took the easy route. The rest of us have been left to deal with it.

While certainly not chemo-ish, which I simply can not fathom, I have been so frail, fragile and ill for over two years now after the car wreck that fatalism seems one of my constant companions. Pain seems a new member of my family who has to be dealt with like a recalcitrant child, but through the love of my family we are all making it through.

I play a game with my sons....I start a sentence in their voice, talking to THEIR future teen-agers and it goes something like this.."See Old Grandpa Andy over there drooling in the corner, WELL, when I was YOUR age, Grandpa Andy....blank......" and have them fill in the blanks. It is intended for them to see themselves as adults passing along oral family history to their children in the same way it was passed to me.

My last request would be that my book be published. "The Great Adventures Of Being Andy Kaufman" and it be the entire story, not the watered down version I would have to write while alive to ensure some of the stories in there do not get me KILLED. There have been many great adventures and there are Andy stories all over the place, many I have written and many in the memories of those I have been around. I want that finally written and have boxes of failed drafts.

I was moved by your thoughts of beloved. Moved to tears. It is so hard at times to think "who cares for the caretaker" as I see my illness more in the faces of my family then anywhere else. It is almost as if I can get through it but how DARE me deprive THEM of me. I am lucky, I am blessed, I keep being told there is a light at the end of the tunnel and can not imagine how others, who might not, can keep fighting. Robin, my thoughts, prayers and tears are with you.

My last request, well, I have always wanted to play for the Yankees but God apparently outsourced this wish to some Indian Angel who fucked it up and has me unable to play, but managing the "Bad News Bombers". THAT great adventure, well, dancing with the ghosts of my memories

I want to hold a copy of this book I have been noodling for so many years and know it will be the universally interesting story I have always hoped it would be. For you, my un-met friend, I hope you will have already BEEN the funniest woman on the planet.

Love From A Sad, But Smiling Face

Your Pal

Andy



Thanks so much,
Posted on 04/29/2008 at 09:58 AM by Robin Fox

Al I so appreciate your thoughts am compassion. Andy, I am sorry I made you cry. You have been through a living hell it seems and Im so sorry. We do sometime feel like we live for those we love. I am hardly the main caregiver be yes illness has a long hurtful hand. Life is so fragile and fleeting.... all the petty things that knot me into a ball really are taking a back seat, to whats important. I need to enjoy him while he is still here. I cherish each day. I have an i Book computer and the best part of owning it is I can video conference with him several times a week. Its been a wish I didnt even know I had fulfilled. I can only imagine wishing I could only see him and tell him how much I love him and thank God and tecno magic.... I can. I hope to meet you one day Andy.



Crying Is A good Thing
Posted on 04/29/2008 at 12:48 PM by Andy Kaufman

Laughter is only one response to comedy but there are others. Emotional responses, thoughtful ones. I cry often and it is a good thing. Keeps us human I think. I sometimes cry at joyous moments, (My Grandfather Louie called it "kvelling",commercials, movies, cuteness, the simple joy of a smiling child and never apologize for being a man who shows emotions.

My kids tease me about it and when Kevin Costner says "hey Dad, wanna have a catch", the flood gates open.

The fragile nature of life is what makes us appreciate it so much more.

As comedians we have a responsability to be able to draw off emotions, transform energy and reflect it back. Perhaps what makes us work so hard at this solitary craft is the emotional release it gives us.

Thanks for reminding me

Your Pal

Andy

The other night....

I was at the door of the club talking to a comic when a guy walks in- average looking and short. He is with a knock out blonde woman with big boobs...20 years younger than him. I recognize this comic from TV. He is very friendly and nice and so is his girl friend. They speak to the manager and are offered a 5 minute guest spot for him and a 3 minute one for her. Its a full house and she goes up and does the Im such a slut set... IM so Hot.... Its hard to get a meal on a date rape.... Giving Jesus a blow job jokes. It's a train wreck. However the guys are drooling. I later googled her and she has been doing comedy for one year. NY comedy time compared to La comedy time is like age in dog years, the two arent quite equal. We in NY can get on a stage 3 times a night right from the start, be it only an open mic...or not. It cant be done in LA with the lay of the land and traffic. The LA Headliner guy had a solid set. In his set he mentioned being divorced after a 17 yr marriage. He then said after a 17 years of sexually barren marriage he now has a girl friend who will have sex with him up to 3 times a day. He did a funny joke about it too. He closed strong and they left. Does she deserve to be getting this Stage time???? well 3 times a day is alot of work who's to say. Sure in time she could become funny...hey he could write her a joke and who knows?

If you go down the line of male comics married or dating female comics one trend is true. The girls are way way way hotter than this guy could ever get if he wasnt a headliner. These guys are like the shlubby guy married to the hot wife you see on most sitcoms. Sure there are some exceptions. Bernie Paulie is beautiful and very funny and so is her husband Al Dacharme.. so thats not a good example.. I know there are exceptions I just cant think of one right now.

I also have a problem with average looking nice sweet girl comics doing jokes about being sluts. The other night a wonderfu and sweet female comic hosted a show I was on for a charity. She was doing fantastic best I have seen her ever. Then she started doing jokes about sleeping around.... and she lost them. Why, I think it is because she dissapointed the audience and made them uncomfortable with this information. Maybe they thought she had more self respect than that. Her jokes were smart and she was sly and so in control then the slut jokes arrive and she looses them. I think that it shows the audience that she thinks very little of herself and makes them uncomfortable. The jokes were kind of funny but they didnt help her they harmed her and her relationship with the audience. After the set she said to me they dont like the dirty stuff. No they didnt like seeing you as what was dirty. Thats the difference. Im not saying women cant do material about enjoying causal sex... But when its not funny .... its not funny. It for the most part is hard to pull off well. Chelsea Handler does it better than most so does Sarah Silverman, Wait she dates Kimmel. Hummmmmmmm ???

On a totally different topic. I had a gig in PA last night. Or better put I was to have a gig in PA the other night. It had been on my calendar for over 3 months. I was to headline and it payed fantastic money. As time moved on I was offered several other less paying gigs. I turned them all down. Sure enough Monday came and I just wanted to confirm the show. I email the booker and a day goes by I hear nothing. I go to the rooms website and it says no shows upcoming. What!!!! I call the booker. My phone is broken dont text me.... leave a message. I leave a message. Thursday comes and he calls me. It is not his room he just booked me as a favor it seems to this other guy. He will call me back. At noon on Friday I am told he cant reach the guy dont bother coming out. He tells me the other comics cant reach the guy either there not going to show up.

I am so pissed off on how people can be so unprofessional. I will say this again. I have 52 weekends a year to earn money. Don't screw around with me. I don't know what the answer is.

Comments are below
i have to say
Posted on 04/26/2008 at 03:17 PM by Mindy Matijasevic

giving a blow job to Jesus sounds original -- i never heard that before. but if anyone is deserving...



It could be giving a blow job to anyone...
Posted on 04/26/2008 at 05:13 PM by Robin Fox

No "Im such a slut set " is complete without one.



Robin
Posted on 04/26/2008 at 05:52 PM by Andy Kaufman

I love reading your blogs and there is s similar situation here in my town which this reminded me of. This dude, who is a good guy, has been dating a woman who all of a sudden not only decides she wants to be on stage, BUT, he has her working with him deciding who gets booked at one of the "A" rooms in town in their "Legends Of The Future" show. While she actually does have some good stuff and is a nice lady, I am not sure she would be getting the stage time, the attention, and certainly NOT the booking responsibility. Other comics around town are now putting her up on stage not only for her talent, of which she does have some, but because THEY want to get booked in "her" room.

I really have no objections to people sleeping with whoever they want to sleep with but, what I got out of your blog was that comedic talent is not transferred through injection. We're all working hard to get better and your story does not seem to be rare.

On a totally different note. I was booked to do a gig in Texas which was pretty well paying and I had a free airline ticket so what the hell. I have been sick and wanted to get back on stage but when I landed got a message that the gig has been canceled. I do not blame the comic who booked me, he is an amazingly great guy and a good friend. He was just as shocked, but what DOES suck is that the dude who canceled the gig has, to this day, NEVER returned a call asking "Where's my money". I made, literally 10 calls which went unanswered.

If people are going to be assholes, at least face up to it.

My admonition is for folks to return calls. Robin, you work hard for your money, so do we all. Not like we are getting rich just yet but people need to return calls, tell the truth and not fuck people over.

Here's To Hoping Our Paths Cross someday

Your Pal

Andy



Meow Ms.Fox! Put the claws away girl before you hurt someone.
Posted on 04/26/2008 at 06:07 PM by Dave O'Gara

That being said I agree completely.

Also Chelsea Handler is dating one of the big wheel producers over at the "E" channel.

I also have to cop to being guilty of doing the same thing.

I also have a comic friend who is touring with his now girlfriend. She's way hotter than him. He's the headliner she's the feature.

Didn't Lampanelli date a comic from the strip? I guess it happens in both sexes.

Interesting observation I'm glad you made it. It might have come across as sexist if it came from a guy.



Honesty is the key
Posted on 04/26/2008 at 06:10 PM by April Brucker

A lot of these wholesome girl comics talk about being sluts and its hit or miss because it isnt true. If it was true and honest and from the heart those jokes would always hit. In the past few months I have started opening up more and more about a topic onstage that I dont look like I even know the first thing about. However, this problem has made my life a nightmare and is something I know too much about. Because I am telling the truth and because I have had this issue, the material always hits. Though I dont have the I know what I am talking about sign on my head it comes across when I talk. Hope that makes sense. Maybe I dont know what I am talking about. Maybe you all get what I am saying.



My thoughts
Posted on 04/27/2008 at 09:48 AM by Shaun Eli

Some clubs would put her up and others won't. In the long run both comics are probably doing themselves a disservice. He because a club may be less likely to give him a spot in the future, and she because she's being seen before she's ready and thus is less likely to be granted an audition when she is ready.

But really, we all start with strengths and weaknesses in life. Not saying that everybody's add up to the same- some people clearly start off way more advantageous in life than others do. But we make do with what we're given. If she's given beauty and that got her stage time, or he's given a great sense of humor and that got him an attractive young girlfriend... that's what they have.

Robin, you have been given a great sense of humor and a loving, supportive family. Have you considered what advantages that grants you?

And really you have absolutely no way of knowing what that couple sees in each other. He may not care about her looks or age and she may not care that he's a famous comedian.

As far as bookers being unprofessional... in the words of President Bush: "Fool me once, shame on... shame on you. Fool me... you can't get fooled again." Well, you know what he meant to say. If someone doesn't treat you well, vote with your feet. You have only 52 weekends to work? Allocate them to those who deserve them.



I agree with you on most parts...
Posted on 04/27/2008 at 10:16 AM by Robin Fox

However with out naming names.....there is a entire slew of women comics who because they are married or date successful male headliners who are getting a Ton of stage time on prime stages. They for the most part are A. Not ready to be up there B. not funny yet or ever and C. Doing the Im such a slut ....comedy hell set. Its not funny and it is the female equal to the male open micer Dick joke set.

as for the bookers trust me I have a very high learning curve...it wont happen twice with the same person.

As for you remarks that I have a great sense of humor and a loving, supportive family giving me an advantage. Lets hope so. I hope that being funny is an advantage. Its when who isnt as funny is clogging up the pipes so to speak ...is when I get a bit miffed. As for my supportive family the other day it was pointed out to me that I say Im a housewife on stage. Arent you a comedian??? My response is Yeah... not I have 2 full time jobs...lucky me. I only wish I could be like my husband and when I was done from work I was done........I am never done. Look in comedy it is never a level playing field. In the end you dont quit and you let what you can actually do on a stage and to a room full of people that counts. Be undeniable and they can 't deny you.



Shaun
Posted on 04/28/2008 at 01:28 AM by Mindy Matijasevic

I really liked how non-judgmental the view you shared was.

Robin, I also see your point. In every field, people with connections get [unfair] breaks -- let's hope not in the surgery field. But it's always been like that in show biz. Also people with money to have all their updated headshots and press kits and stuff are seen as more deserving (talent not considered) than those who use free business cards and such due to less income. Seems backwards to me.



Thanks Mindy for your kind words.
Posted on 04/28/2008 at 06:29 AM by Shaun Eli

To respond to your other point: Spending money on better headshots and business cards doesn't look more deserving but it does look more professional. You can get decent business cards for ten bucks and if you haven't spent ten dollars for business cards people may not make the immediate assumption that you're professional and reliable.

Let me give you an analogy. A guy shows up at your apartment for a first date-- it's Saturday night. You dress up. He shows up in jeans, sneakers, a dirty t-shirt and baseball cap. Do you think he's serious? Or are you disappointed in his appearance?

Yes, headshots are expensive (although there are inexpensive options-- if you have a friend with a digital camera you can take several thousand shots over the course of an afternoon and probably one would be usable). Business cards and press kits? How much does it cost to buy folders at Staples and photocopy a few pages?



Shaun you just showed your age
Posted on 04/28/2008 at 10:33 AM by Josh Homer

Let me give you an analogy. A guy shows up at your apartment for a first date-- it's Saturday night. You dress up. He shows up in jeans, sneakers, a dirty t-shirt and baseball cap. Do you think he's serious? Or are you disappointed in his appearance?

It all depends on the people dating. Just because they do no fit your idea of what a date should dress like does nto mean they are any more or less serious about the person they are taking out.



Actually Josh
Posted on 04/28/2008 at 10:49 AM by Shaun Eli

I'd be happy to go out in jeans, sneakers and a t-shirt... my guess is that Mindy wouldn't like it too much. Mindy-- what's your thought?



Shaun, you have jeans?!?!?!
Posted on 04/28/2008 at 10:56 AM by Josh Homer

I keed! I keed! (I've never seen you in jeans ever).



I am sure all that rowing keeps his RealAge down quite a bit, but Shaun is right.
Posted on 04/28/2008 at 10:47 AM by Sam Garrett

Forget leaving the stand up world. You are a booker and you need someone that's funny but more importantly, will show up ON TIME. And will oh that's right, SHOW UP. That will not RUN THE LIGHT. That won't embarrass you.

No one owes any of us any kind of spot. And what do they have to go on that we won't do those things? How we present ourselves and how we act.

I think Shaun is saying, and I agree with him if he is, that the more professional you look the easier it is for bookers to trust you with their spots. And its our job to make them feel comfortable, not their job to see what wonderful people we are.

If you took the time to make business cards, maintain a website, and dress nice (not in any particular style, but just look like you gave a f$#k) then it is less likely you will embarrass the booker, because you have invested in your future success.

And its the comedian's job to do that first, because if you won't invest in your act why the hell should someone else invest in it by letting you on their stage.



I agree with pretty much every thing Shaun said
Posted on 04/28/2008 at 11:30 AM by Josh Homer

except the jeans example, only because I've never seen him wear jeans. Bottom line is a good look (website, cards, etc) gets you in the door. Laughs get you booked again.



Actually
Posted on 04/28/2008 at 11:50 AM by Shaun Eli

I pretty much wear jeans all the time, except when:

Somebody's paying me and part of the deal is they get to tell me what to wear.

and

On stage sometimes I wear jeans, sometimes chinos. But always a shirt with a collar (button-down or polo), and shoes.



SHOES????????
Posted on 04/28/2008 at 01:25 PM by Andy Kaufman

damn I knew there was a secret.



You step on one nail
Posted on 04/28/2008 at 02:38 PM by Shaun Eli

and you stop going on stage barefoot forever.



That's Showbiz
Posted on 04/28/2008 at 02:23 PM by Adam Sank

It's 99.9% whom you know. That's just the reality of it.

Talent? Brains? Integrity? Work Ethic? Sure, they'll help you have a longer, richer career. But as King Charlemagne sings in "Pippin:"

"A simple rule that every great man knows by heart:

It's smarter to be lucky than it's lucky to be smart."



I almost forgot
Posted on 04/28/2008 at 03:13 PM by Josh Homer

RObin your new picture is great. To me your the librarian saying in the sweetest voice possible, "You know that effing book was due two weeks ago a$$hole"




Posted on 04/28/2008 at 03:54 PM by Mindy Matijasevic

Shaun, thanks for asking for my thoughts. I just don't equate low-income and resourceful with dirty and sloppy, so to me it wasn't a real analogy. (Oh, and I do know how to work around many of the costly things -- I rarely paid for headshots to be taken, but do have to pay for them to be reproduced.)

As far as dating, jeans is not the problem. It would depend on our plans. But I wouldn't welcome dirty. The things that matter to me in a person have little to do with what can be bought in a store. I would, however, want to know the person gave our date thought (joyful thought, not dutiful thought) and seemed as excited about it as I and as concerned that we both feel good. Believe me, I like and need class in a person, but I find it shows in how they perceive and treat others and the world at large; how they handle themselves. I have made the aquaintance of too many well dressed scumbags to fall for the outer stuff. Hope you're not sorry you asked for my thoughts. And I always find it interesting to hear how I am perceived. Jeans and a t-shirt if we were going to walk in the park is fine. I would still look like I cared to wear well fitting jeans, nothing worn, stained, or dirty. And knowing me, I'd probably wear something a bit sexier than a t-shirt, but it depends where we are going and how nuts I was over the man. ;-)



I wasn't equating
Posted on 04/28/2008 at 04:26 PM by Shaun Eli

low income with dirty and sloppy. But there's no reason not to have a great press kit if you have the information to put in the press kit.
(I got folders for five cents apiece on sale at Staples a while back-- I spent about twenty dollars so I have enough to last for a long time.) And, for example, I think many people in the industry would see a business card with the Vistaprint logo on the back and say "This person isn't serious about the business." You can now get blank business card stock that's thick and glossy-- it's less than $20 for two hundred-- and feed it through your printer. I've done this and it looks pretty good.

I produce a show so I get a lot of videos sent to me. And some of them are so sloppy that I have to work hard to get past the sloppiness-- fuzzy, noisy, hard-to-understand, shaky camera work... I know how hard it is to get a quality tape, but if people don't have a quality tape the impression is that they're probably not experienced enough to have a quality performance. And I think most people in the industry hit 'eject' long before I do.

But then I'm a guy who spent over an hour with tape and wite-out and repeated photocopying to take every extraneous smudge and dot out of a newspaper article for my press kit, because I had only one copy of the article and it wasn't that clean to start with.

I work as hard at marketing as I do at writing and performing-- because without marketing I won't have as many places to perform. And one nice-paying gig will buy me a lot of business cards, folders, photocopying and postage.



Hedge your bets...
Posted on 04/28/2008 at 05:16 PM by Robin Fox

Thats how I see all of it. Be Professional if you know how and if not learn. Try to look somewhat put together... I have struggled with what works best as far as wardrobe. At one time I thought looking like the desheveled mom would work for me. I soon found out if it did or not.... I feel more confident when I look nice on stage. I cut my hair because I wanted a sharper look. I booked a headliner for a show. Adam was on it and there were about 150 people in the room. Adam was my MC he showed up in Tuxedo pants and a beautiful shirt and tie and cuff links. He looked like a star. The audience felt like WOW this is gonna be a great show just LOOK at this guy. Adam Killed every time he stepped on the stage! After the show I had as many compliments on Adam as I did for my headliner. My headliner thank God is hysterical and pulled off a set with several applause breaks He Killed.... He looked like he was going to the supermarket on a Sunday. I saw him a week later on Letterman. He had a suit and tie on and a fresh new hair cut.... Maybe he was playing to all of America and needed that edge??? To me this says you dress for confidence. He knew he would kill at my Temple show it was fish in a barrel. Letterman another story...oh and he did. Being funny is a huge advantage but often not enough...it takes alot of other elements. Hard work is needed and very little can happen without it. Since your only as talented as God makes you all you can do is work with what you got ... hedge your self by.... writing more, run your bussiness well, be nice, send a thank you note, dont run the light, be on time......oh and the biggest one of all .....Dont be an ASSHOLE.. No one wants to book one. Do what you can ..... and do it well. If you cant do something today keep trying maybe tomorrow you will be able to. I have been futzing with my website for 9 months now and its getting there. I know I need video up online and as soon as I can figure it out I will. Hedge your bet by not quitting. Im lucky I have lived Plan B. for over 25 years. I have no other choice than to do this.



i never intend to look less than good on stage
Posted on 04/28/2008 at 09:49 PM by Mindy Matijasevic

there's like 3 topics being talked about. lol i'm getting dizzy. people being judged on their seriousness based on free or paid-for business cards; dating; looking good on stage.

even when featured at a poetry reading, i never understood people who seemed to deliberately look bad. it was like some pick their worst items to wear. i often wondered if they felt they had to look bland or bad in order for their writing to be heard and taken seriously. there was a time where it was typical to see a good looking woman as ONLY her looks. so if you were an author and female and wanting to be heard, i can see how one might take that route. however, i never want to look bad on stage. i may look bad when i run to the laundromat or the corner bodega, but not when i'm putting myself in a position for people to look at me -- like on stage. it's not professionalism that drives me, i don't think. maybe some. but mainly, it's vanity. if one was raised by my grandmother, one had to develop an awareness of their appearance. especially the females. this was not just your regular stuff. it was quite overly intense. she was a product of her time and gender. she felt it was her job to make us marriageable, i guess, and she took her job quite seriously. in the right doses, it's not a bad thing. the degree was the problem. anyway, i don't desire to look less than good when people are staring at me. whether it's poetry or comedy, i think people should be expected to be able to enjoy hearing and looking at the same time.

Shaun, I understand everything you are saying, but I still don't judge someone's seriousness by if they needed the free business cards. I judge that as resourceful as do I feel about the printing it yourself idea. However, I know people who don't own computers.

Robin, I love your bottom line -- don't be an asshole. The problem is assholes usually don't think they are assholes, or they actually proudly call themselves one. If only they'd wear a neon t-shirt saying: CAUTION I'm an asshole. That would make a lot of things easier. :-)



Asshole are alot like
Posted on 04/28/2008 at 11:22 PM by Robin Fox

Comics who don't know that there unfunny and not really comics yet and often ever. Self delusion is a bitch.