I was at the door of the club talking to a comic when a guy walks in- average looking and short. He is with a knock out blonde woman with big boobs...20 years younger than him. I recognize this comic from TV. He is very friendly and nice and so is his girl friend. They speak to the manager and are offered a 5 minute guest spot for him and a 3 minute one for her. Its a full house and she goes up and does the Im such a slut set... IM so Hot.... Its hard to get a meal on a date rape.... Giving Jesus a blow job jokes. It's a train wreck. However the guys are drooling. I later googled her and she has been doing comedy for one year. NY comedy time compared to La comedy time is like age in dog years, the two arent quite equal. We in NY can get on a stage 3 times a night right from the start, be it only an open mic...or not. It cant be done in LA with the lay of the land and traffic. The LA Headliner guy had a solid set. In his set he mentioned being divorced after a 17 yr marriage. He then said after a 17 years of sexually barren marriage he now has a girl friend who will have sex with him up to 3 times a day. He did a funny joke about it too. He closed strong and they left. Does she deserve to be getting this Stage time???? well 3 times a day is alot of work who's to say. Sure in time she could become funny...hey he could write her a joke and who knows?
If you go down the line of male comics married or dating female comics one trend is true. The girls are way way way hotter than this guy could ever get if he wasnt a headliner. These guys are like the shlubby guy married to the hot wife you see on most sitcoms. Sure there are some exceptions. Bernie Paulie is beautiful and very funny and so is her husband Al Dacharme.. so thats not a good example.. I know there are exceptions I just cant think of one right now.
I also have a problem with average looking nice sweet girl comics doing jokes about being sluts. The other night a wonderfu and sweet female comic hosted a show I was on for a charity. She was doing fantastic best I have seen her ever. Then she started doing jokes about sleeping around.... and she lost them. Why, I think it is because she dissapointed the audience and made them uncomfortable with this information. Maybe they thought she had more self respect than that. Her jokes were smart and she was sly and so in control then the slut jokes arrive and she looses them. I think that it shows the audience that she thinks very little of herself and makes them uncomfortable. The jokes were kind of funny but they didnt help her they harmed her and her relationship with the audience. After the set she said to me they dont like the dirty stuff. No they didnt like seeing you as what was dirty. Thats the difference. Im not saying women cant do material about enjoying causal sex... But when its not funny .... its not funny. It for the most part is hard to pull off well. Chelsea Handler does it better than most so does Sarah Silverman, Wait she dates Kimmel. Hummmmmmmm ???
On a totally different topic. I had a gig in PA last night. Or better put I was to have a gig in PA the other night. It had been on my calendar for over 3 months. I was to headline and it payed fantastic money. As time moved on I was offered several other less paying gigs. I turned them all down. Sure enough Monday came and I just wanted to confirm the show. I email the booker and a day goes by I hear nothing. I go to the rooms website and it says no shows upcoming. What!!!! I call the booker. My phone is broken dont text me.... leave a message. I leave a message. Thursday comes and he calls me. It is not his room he just booked me as a favor it seems to this other guy. He will call me back. At noon on Friday I am told he cant reach the guy dont bother coming out. He tells me the other comics cant reach the guy either there not going to show up.
I am so pissed off on how people can be so unprofessional. I will say this again. I have 52 weekends a year to earn money. Don't screw around with me. I don't know what the answer is.
Comments are below
i have to say
Posted on 04/26/2008 at 03:17 PM by Mindy Matijasevic
giving a blow job to Jesus sounds original -- i never heard that before. but if anyone is deserving...
It could be giving a blow job to anyone...
Posted on 04/26/2008 at 05:13 PM by Robin Fox
No "Im such a slut set " is complete without one.
Robin
Posted on 04/26/2008 at 05:52 PM by Andy Kaufman
I love reading your blogs and there is s similar situation here in my town which this reminded me of. This dude, who is a good guy, has been dating a woman who all of a sudden not only decides she wants to be on stage, BUT, he has her working with him deciding who gets booked at one of the "A" rooms in town in their "Legends Of The Future" show. While she actually does have some good stuff and is a nice lady, I am not sure she would be getting the stage time, the attention, and certainly NOT the booking responsibility. Other comics around town are now putting her up on stage not only for her talent, of which she does have some, but because THEY want to get booked in "her" room.
I really have no objections to people sleeping with whoever they want to sleep with but, what I got out of your blog was that comedic talent is not transferred through injection. We're all working hard to get better and your story does not seem to be rare.
On a totally different note. I was booked to do a gig in Texas which was pretty well paying and I had a free airline ticket so what the hell. I have been sick and wanted to get back on stage but when I landed got a message that the gig has been canceled. I do not blame the comic who booked me, he is an amazingly great guy and a good friend. He was just as shocked, but what DOES suck is that the dude who canceled the gig has, to this day, NEVER returned a call asking "Where's my money". I made, literally 10 calls which went unanswered.
If people are going to be assholes, at least face up to it.
My admonition is for folks to return calls. Robin, you work hard for your money, so do we all. Not like we are getting rich just yet but people need to return calls, tell the truth and not fuck people over.
Here's To Hoping Our Paths Cross someday
Your Pal
Andy
Meow Ms.Fox! Put the claws away girl before you hurt someone.
Posted on 04/26/2008 at 06:07 PM by Dave O'Gara
That being said I agree completely.
Also Chelsea Handler is dating one of the big wheel producers over at the "E" channel.
I also have to cop to being guilty of doing the same thing.
I also have a comic friend who is touring with his now girlfriend. She's way hotter than him. He's the headliner she's the feature.
Didn't Lampanelli date a comic from the strip? I guess it happens in both sexes.
Interesting observation I'm glad you made it. It might have come across as sexist if it came from a guy.
Honesty is the key
Posted on 04/26/2008 at 06:10 PM by April Brucker
A lot of these wholesome girl comics talk about being sluts and its hit or miss because it isnt true. If it was true and honest and from the heart those jokes would always hit. In the past few months I have started opening up more and more about a topic onstage that I dont look like I even know the first thing about. However, this problem has made my life a nightmare and is something I know too much about. Because I am telling the truth and because I have had this issue, the material always hits. Though I dont have the I know what I am talking about sign on my head it comes across when I talk. Hope that makes sense. Maybe I dont know what I am talking about. Maybe you all get what I am saying.
My thoughts
Posted on 04/27/2008 at 09:48 AM by Shaun Eli
Some clubs would put her up and others won't. In the long run both comics are probably doing themselves a disservice. He because a club may be less likely to give him a spot in the future, and she because she's being seen before she's ready and thus is less likely to be granted an audition when she is ready.
But really, we all start with strengths and weaknesses in life. Not saying that everybody's add up to the same- some people clearly start off way more advantageous in life than others do. But we make do with what we're given. If she's given beauty and that got her stage time, or he's given a great sense of humor and that got him an attractive young girlfriend... that's what they have.
Robin, you have been given a great sense of humor and a loving, supportive family. Have you considered what advantages that grants you?
And really you have absolutely no way of knowing what that couple sees in each other. He may not care about her looks or age and she may not care that he's a famous comedian.
As far as bookers being unprofessional... in the words of President Bush: "Fool me once, shame on... shame on you. Fool me... you can't get fooled again." Well, you know what he meant to say. If someone doesn't treat you well, vote with your feet. You have only 52 weekends to work? Allocate them to those who deserve them.
I agree with you on most parts...
Posted on 04/27/2008 at 10:16 AM by Robin Fox
However with out naming names.....there is a entire slew of women comics who because they are married or date successful male headliners who are getting a Ton of stage time on prime stages. They for the most part are A. Not ready to be up there B. not funny yet or ever and C. Doing the Im such a slut ....comedy hell set. Its not funny and it is the female equal to the male open micer Dick joke set.
as for the bookers trust me I have a very high learning curve...it wont happen twice with the same person.
As for you remarks that I have a great sense of humor and a loving, supportive family giving me an advantage. Lets hope so. I hope that being funny is an advantage. Its when who isnt as funny is clogging up the pipes so to speak ...is when I get a bit miffed. As for my supportive family the other day it was pointed out to me that I say Im a housewife on stage. Arent you a comedian??? My response is Yeah... not I have 2 full time jobs...lucky me. I only wish I could be like my husband and when I was done from work I was done........I am never done. Look in comedy it is never a level playing field. In the end you dont quit and you let what you can actually do on a stage and to a room full of people that counts. Be undeniable and they can 't deny you.
Shaun
Posted on 04/28/2008 at 01:28 AM by Mindy Matijasevic
I really liked how non-judgmental the view you shared was.
Robin, I also see your point. In every field, people with connections get [unfair] breaks -- let's hope not in the surgery field. But it's always been like that in show biz. Also people with money to have all their updated headshots and press kits and stuff are seen as more deserving (talent not considered) than those who use free business cards and such due to less income. Seems backwards to me.
Thanks Mindy for your kind words.
Posted on 04/28/2008 at 06:29 AM by Shaun Eli
To respond to your other point: Spending money on better headshots and business cards doesn't look more deserving but it does look more professional. You can get decent business cards for ten bucks and if you haven't spent ten dollars for business cards people may not make the immediate assumption that you're professional and reliable.
Let me give you an analogy. A guy shows up at your apartment for a first date-- it's Saturday night. You dress up. He shows up in jeans, sneakers, a dirty t-shirt and baseball cap. Do you think he's serious? Or are you disappointed in his appearance?
Yes, headshots are expensive (although there are inexpensive options-- if you have a friend with a digital camera you can take several thousand shots over the course of an afternoon and probably one would be usable). Business cards and press kits? How much does it cost to buy folders at Staples and photocopy a few pages?
Shaun you just showed your age
Posted on 04/28/2008 at 10:33 AM by Josh Homer
Let me give you an analogy. A guy shows up at your apartment for a first date-- it's Saturday night. You dress up. He shows up in jeans, sneakers, a dirty t-shirt and baseball cap. Do you think he's serious? Or are you disappointed in his appearance?
It all depends on the people dating. Just because they do no fit your idea of what a date should dress like does nto mean they are any more or less serious about the person they are taking out.
Actually Josh
Posted on 04/28/2008 at 10:49 AM by Shaun Eli
I'd be happy to go out in jeans, sneakers and a t-shirt... my guess is that Mindy wouldn't like it too much. Mindy-- what's your thought?
Shaun, you have jeans?!?!?!
Posted on 04/28/2008 at 10:56 AM by Josh Homer
I keed! I keed! (I've never seen you in jeans ever).
I am sure all that rowing keeps his RealAge down quite a bit, but Shaun is right.
Posted on 04/28/2008 at 10:47 AM by Sam Garrett
Forget leaving the stand up world. You are a booker and you need someone that's funny but more importantly, will show up ON TIME. And will oh that's right, SHOW UP. That will not RUN THE LIGHT. That won't embarrass you.
No one owes any of us any kind of spot. And what do they have to go on that we won't do those things? How we present ourselves and how we act.
I think Shaun is saying, and I agree with him if he is, that the more professional you look the easier it is for bookers to trust you with their spots. And its our job to make them feel comfortable, not their job to see what wonderful people we are.
If you took the time to make business cards, maintain a website, and dress nice (not in any particular style, but just look like you gave a f$#k) then it is less likely you will embarrass the booker, because you have invested in your future success.
And its the comedian's job to do that first, because if you won't invest in your act why the hell should someone else invest in it by letting you on their stage.
I agree with pretty much every thing Shaun said
Posted on 04/28/2008 at 11:30 AM by Josh Homer
except the jeans example, only because I've never seen him wear jeans. Bottom line is a good look (website, cards, etc) gets you in the door. Laughs get you booked again.
Actually
Posted on 04/28/2008 at 11:50 AM by Shaun Eli
I pretty much wear jeans all the time, except when:
Somebody's paying me and part of the deal is they get to tell me what to wear.
and
On stage sometimes I wear jeans, sometimes chinos. But always a shirt with a collar (button-down or polo), and shoes.
SHOES????????
Posted on 04/28/2008 at 01:25 PM by Andy Kaufman
damn I knew there was a secret.
You step on one nail
Posted on 04/28/2008 at 02:38 PM by Shaun Eli
and you stop going on stage barefoot forever.
That's Showbiz
Posted on 04/28/2008 at 02:23 PM by Adam Sank
It's 99.9% whom you know. That's just the reality of it.
Talent? Brains? Integrity? Work Ethic? Sure, they'll help you have a longer, richer career. But as King Charlemagne sings in "Pippin:"
"A simple rule that every great man knows by heart:
It's smarter to be lucky than it's lucky to be smart."
I almost forgot
Posted on 04/28/2008 at 03:13 PM by Josh Homer
RObin your new picture is great. To me your the librarian saying in the sweetest voice possible, "You know that effing book was due two weeks ago a$$hole"
Posted on 04/28/2008 at 03:54 PM by Mindy Matijasevic
Shaun, thanks for asking for my thoughts. I just don't equate low-income and resourceful with dirty and sloppy, so to me it wasn't a real analogy. (Oh, and I do know how to work around many of the costly things -- I rarely paid for headshots to be taken, but do have to pay for them to be reproduced.)
As far as dating, jeans is not the problem. It would depend on our plans. But I wouldn't welcome dirty. The things that matter to me in a person have little to do with what can be bought in a store. I would, however, want to know the person gave our date thought (joyful thought, not dutiful thought) and seemed as excited about it as I and as concerned that we both feel good. Believe me, I like and need class in a person, but I find it shows in how they perceive and treat others and the world at large; how they handle themselves. I have made the aquaintance of too many well dressed scumbags to fall for the outer stuff. Hope you're not sorry you asked for my thoughts. And I always find it interesting to hear how I am perceived. Jeans and a t-shirt if we were going to walk in the park is fine. I would still look like I cared to wear well fitting jeans, nothing worn, stained, or dirty. And knowing me, I'd probably wear something a bit sexier than a t-shirt, but it depends where we are going and how nuts I was over the man. ;-)
I wasn't equating
Posted on 04/28/2008 at 04:26 PM by Shaun Eli
low income with dirty and sloppy. But there's no reason not to have a great press kit if you have the information to put in the press kit.
(I got folders for five cents apiece on sale at Staples a while back-- I spent about twenty dollars so I have enough to last for a long time.) And, for example, I think many people in the industry would see a business card with the Vistaprint logo on the back and say "This person isn't serious about the business." You can now get blank business card stock that's thick and glossy-- it's less than $20 for two hundred-- and feed it through your printer. I've done this and it looks pretty good.
I produce a show so I get a lot of videos sent to me. And some of them are so sloppy that I have to work hard to get past the sloppiness-- fuzzy, noisy, hard-to-understand, shaky camera work... I know how hard it is to get a quality tape, but if people don't have a quality tape the impression is that they're probably not experienced enough to have a quality performance. And I think most people in the industry hit 'eject' long before I do.
But then I'm a guy who spent over an hour with tape and wite-out and repeated photocopying to take every extraneous smudge and dot out of a newspaper article for my press kit, because I had only one copy of the article and it wasn't that clean to start with.
I work as hard at marketing as I do at writing and performing-- because without marketing I won't have as many places to perform. And one nice-paying gig will buy me a lot of business cards, folders, photocopying and postage.
Hedge your bets...
Posted on 04/28/2008 at 05:16 PM by Robin Fox
Thats how I see all of it. Be Professional if you know how and if not learn. Try to look somewhat put together... I have struggled with what works best as far as wardrobe. At one time I thought looking like the desheveled mom would work for me. I soon found out if it did or not.... I feel more confident when I look nice on stage. I cut my hair because I wanted a sharper look. I booked a headliner for a show. Adam was on it and there were about 150 people in the room. Adam was my MC he showed up in Tuxedo pants and a beautiful shirt and tie and cuff links. He looked like a star. The audience felt like WOW this is gonna be a great show just LOOK at this guy. Adam Killed every time he stepped on the stage! After the show I had as many compliments on Adam as I did for my headliner. My headliner thank God is hysterical and pulled off a set with several applause breaks He Killed.... He looked like he was going to the supermarket on a Sunday. I saw him a week later on Letterman. He had a suit and tie on and a fresh new hair cut.... Maybe he was playing to all of America and needed that edge??? To me this says you dress for confidence. He knew he would kill at my Temple show it was fish in a barrel. Letterman another story...oh and he did. Being funny is a huge advantage but often not enough...it takes alot of other elements. Hard work is needed and very little can happen without it. Since your only as talented as God makes you all you can do is work with what you got ... hedge your self by.... writing more, run your bussiness well, be nice, send a thank you note, dont run the light, be on time......oh and the biggest one of all .....Dont be an ASSHOLE.. No one wants to book one. Do what you can ..... and do it well. If you cant do something today keep trying maybe tomorrow you will be able to. I have been futzing with my website for 9 months now and its getting there. I know I need video up online and as soon as I can figure it out I will. Hedge your bet by not quitting. Im lucky I have lived Plan B. for over 25 years. I have no other choice than to do this.
i never intend to look less than good on stage
Posted on 04/28/2008 at 09:49 PM by Mindy Matijasevic
there's like 3 topics being talked about. lol i'm getting dizzy. people being judged on their seriousness based on free or paid-for business cards; dating; looking good on stage.
even when featured at a poetry reading, i never understood people who seemed to deliberately look bad. it was like some pick their worst items to wear. i often wondered if they felt they had to look bland or bad in order for their writing to be heard and taken seriously. there was a time where it was typical to see a good looking woman as ONLY her looks. so if you were an author and female and wanting to be heard, i can see how one might take that route. however, i never want to look bad on stage. i may look bad when i run to the laundromat or the corner bodega, but not when i'm putting myself in a position for people to look at me -- like on stage. it's not professionalism that drives me, i don't think. maybe some. but mainly, it's vanity. if one was raised by my grandmother, one had to develop an awareness of their appearance. especially the females. this was not just your regular stuff. it was quite overly intense. she was a product of her time and gender. she felt it was her job to make us marriageable, i guess, and she took her job quite seriously. in the right doses, it's not a bad thing. the degree was the problem. anyway, i don't desire to look less than good when people are staring at me. whether it's poetry or comedy, i think people should be expected to be able to enjoy hearing and looking at the same time.
Shaun, I understand everything you are saying, but I still don't judge someone's seriousness by if they needed the free business cards. I judge that as resourceful as do I feel about the printing it yourself idea. However, I know people who don't own computers.
Robin, I love your bottom line -- don't be an asshole. The problem is assholes usually don't think they are assholes, or they actually proudly call themselves one. If only they'd wear a neon t-shirt saying: CAUTION I'm an asshole. That would make a lot of things easier. :-)
Asshole are alot like
Posted on 04/28/2008 at 11:22 PM by Robin Fox
Comics who don't know that there unfunny and not really comics yet and often ever. Self delusion is a bitch.
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