Going to the dogs

Yes I am still sick. One week and today.... Although I am feeling a bit better. I made myself chicken soup...who takes care of Mom??? Mom. So I crawl to the supermarket come home and make the soup. I am allergic to something on carrots or parsnips or parsley or turnip....because if I touch them and rub my eye area I have an allergic reaction. My eyes close up and swell like a prize fighter. I took all precautions possible. I picked up the vegetables though a plastic bag at the store. I wore glasses not to touch my eyes. I washed my hands. I must of touched something because within 1 hour of making the soup I couldn't see out of either eye I had swollen up so badly. FUCK. Normally it wouldn't have been a problem except for one small thing. I HAVE A BIG SHOW FOR A CHARITY THIS SUNDAY. I haven't been on a stage in 10 days.....I haven't taken more than a 4 day break in almost a year and a half. And now I look like a monster. I take 3 Benadryl and pass out for 10 hours. I wake up and the swelling is half way gone. MY brain is scrambled eggs I don't know what day it is. I take 2 more Benadryl and sleep through the night. I look almost normal this morning. Except when I blink it hurts like hell. I need to prepare for my show. I am very nervous. I am the feature. The show is for a charity I belong to and it is my chapter. I really was hesitant to do it but they kept on asking me to put a show together. We have Jessica Kirson coming and Jarrett Kruse. I am so off my game I'm in a panic. So what do I do ....run my set....go over my notes...no I blog.

The reason I wanted to blog this AM when I turned on my AOL the main page had on Fashion for dogs. Poochie Bags and Pet Jewelry. It infuriates me.... beyond what is normal. When I was in my 20's the one thing about Manhattan was is was pretty much a dog and child free zone. The city was for grown-ups. Sometime in the 90's when the city went coop the landlord no longer could rule out owning pets. It use to be a rarity to see a baby or a dog.....renters just didn't have them. NOW Pets have become a Friggin accessory. I was at Crate and Barrel and saw a young woman with a baby born carrier. Like a kangaroo pouch for a baby. She had a dog in it. There is no punch line...........its too sick. In my town there is a store that sells home made dog biscuits for 3 bucks a pop. Come on.....my dog eats dear poop....not to mention her own. I took my dog to the vet for her shots and he recommended that my dog have her teeth cleaned and a tooth pulled for over $200 bucks. She's a dog. The tooth fell out and I give her milk bones she's 12 yrs old. They had on the AOL dog fashion article a bag to carry a dog that cost more than my best handbag. The are making jewelry for dogs now. I saw a dog this winter with little boots on. I got to tell you it scares me. Firstly when a young couple buys a dog it is usually just practice child. Lets see if this relationship can handle another life form. Can you imagine the spoiled children they might have someday...... Now it has gotten completely out of hand Sandra Bullock has a Chewy Vitton handbag chew toy for her dog. Reese Whitherspoon buys Swarski crystal jewelry for her dog. Its bad enough to see this but to add celebrities to the mix is just about to kill me. Its just wrong. Dogs don't need $60 a pair boots. Pair that's not right they have 4 legs....$30 a pair and they need 2 pair for boots. Scratch that----- Dogs don't need BOOTS. End of story. The other day on the radio I heard that for 6 bucks a bottle you can buy doggy gravy to put on dog food. Condiments for dogs. I hope it tastes like balls.....because most dogs I have had love that the best. I don't know what this says about society but to me its some kind of narcissistic form of pet abuse. Where is Peta????......Where is Peta?????

Comments are below
It's not just that
Posted on 04/09/2005 at 02:29 PM by Shaun Eli

You think it's wasteful to spend that kind of money on pets. The rest of the world looks at us and thinks it's wasteful to spend the amount of money we spend on PEOPLE. Like $50,000 SUVs that never go off-road unless they're rolling over. 5000 square foot houses for two people. $150 bottles of wine. $80 a month for cable television.

Now excuse me, I have to go to the wine cellar (built with your tax dollars, thank you very much) to fetch a very reasonable $40 bottle of wine.

Feel better! Knock 'em dead tomorrow.



Kudos on being #1
Posted on 04/09/2005 at 04:37 PM by Michael Hayne

Congragulations on your SoapBox number 1 slot accomplishment! Is it safe to assume that you've kidnapped and duct-taped a certain "Shaun Eli" to your CPU??



Its not just the money that bothers me......Shaun.
Posted on 04/09/2005 at 05:45 PM by Robin Fox

They are DOGS. The nicest thing about a dog is that it is a DOG. It just rattels my cage. Thanks for the nice words...hopefully the show will go fine.



Call 9-1-1
Posted on 04/09/2005 at 05:52 PM by Shaun Eli

It's not the duct taping I object to, it's being stuck to a computer. When Robin showed up at my door with a roll of duct tape I assumed she had something else in mind.



seems the duct tape is holding
Posted on 04/10/2005 at 04:38 AM by Robin Fox

o my god its a one day record.... This is good friggin tape. Shaun is still not number one.