Flu-ish

I have been sick since Sunday and what I thought was a cold had turned into the flu. Today I just starting to feel a bit better. I'm pissed. I got the flu, despite washing my hands more than some OCD patient. (I know my sons friend has OCD and I had to push him out of the way to get to the anti-bacterial soap.) I wash my hands every time I touch a mic. Have you ever noticed where the Friggin mic winds up. Rick Shapiro practically deep throats the thing (which is hysterical). I have seen it come out of comics pants rubbed on chests, guys and girls and lets not even think about all the unwashed hands. I'm ready to go on stage with a condom for the filthy thing. At least some Lysol. I spent the month of November trying to get a flu shot since I'm high risk. Yes high risk.... I have asthma....yes you might have seen me smoking...yes I'm an idiot. My 98 year old aunt got a flu shot. 98 she has dodged a few bullets in her long life. She has traveled the world had a successful career and okay now she's a widow and is in a wheel chair and wears diapers....but hey I got a comedy career here...kids to raise and I just lost 5 lbs, I got a lot to live for here. But no flu shot for me.

I am feeling a little better and it looks like I will live. I got sick just about an hour after my sons Bar Mitzvah party. I never got to even think about how great it was and how nice it all turned out. The only great thing that came out of the flu is it looks like I quit smoking. I haven't had a cigerette since Sat. night. Being so ill I was too sick to feel the withdrawal from the nicotine. I had to quit. My lifestyle wont support it. Fuck!! I quit smoking just when the good smoking season started. I spent the winter in a nightgown in 4 degree weather smoking on the side of my house like a roach on a refrigerator hiding from my family. Then Id tip toe...onto the deck open the door ( all this to the theme of mission impossible) turning and pulling the door not to let it creek. Then a 3 minute hand washing. 2 pieces of dentene Ice gum. Finishing it all off with a shower of Fabreeze. I have Fabreeze hidden all over the house like a alcoholic hides bottles. I drove in my car and smoked with my hand out the window with all 4 windows down while it was raining. The only friends I have who smoke are comics... all my middle aged suburbanite pals gave it up years ago. So did I. Then I'm back in bars doing comedy and I'm living for second hand smoke and eventually started smoking again after 17 years. I quit for 4 months and then went back in December. So thank you flu. I haven't smoked in 5 days but I am becoming hooked on Vic's vapor rub. I also love the cough syrup with the codeine .......a lot.

Comments are below

Posted on 04/07/2005 at 03:09 PM by Kelly Shannon

Hey just think, the money you save on cigarettes you can now use to buy gas. Shit, the stuff is more expensive then some of the jewlery I own. Glad your feeling better. I have to warn you though. It comes back... over and over and over like that ugly guy who has the hots for you in a bar.



Dear Robin
Posted on 04/07/2005 at 03:43 PM by Shaun Eli

It would be a lot of fun if you would give us permission NOW to knock the cigarettes out of your hand if you start smoking again.

Feel better, and get back on stage!

-Shaun



Sick of TV too
Posted on 04/07/2005 at 05:19 PM by Robin Fox

I have been watching TV non stop unable to get out of bed other than to puke. Dr Phil is hysterical...today a woman and a man who after 18 months of marriage found out they are half brother and sister......eeeewwww. Then a woman married a man in prison and then got a clue and divorced him. Note to self.....never marry anyone in jail. Now she wants to know if she can just date him. Everyone says Dr Phil has so much common sence....NOoooo the guests dont have a drop of it so it just seems that way by comparison. I really need to write....I cant come up with stuff this stupid on my own.



Feel Better, Sweetie
Posted on 04/07/2005 at 09:16 PM by Adam Sank

At least you're blogging again. And one of your funniest blogs ever, I must say. Mazel tov on your kid's B.M. (As in Bar mitzvah, not shit.)



I miss you
Posted on 04/08/2005 at 01:36 AM by Greg Concodora

Mom, where have you gone? I hope you are feeling good and getting on stage. I just broke my 6 week hiatus. I hope you fulfill your dreams. You are a good person, even though you used to work in ads. Call or email me.