Peer pressure

I had my first show for the Soapbox Friday night. I was very excited to finally get a shot at it... I wanted to do really well. Not to be late and knowing that traffic on a Friday night into the city can be brutal I left my home at 5:30pm. I figured I would get there early and get a bite to eat and then hit the pavement there after. Traffic was a nightmare and even by giving myself 2 and a half hours to get into NY.... by the time I found parking a half a mile away from the club.... I was 5 minutes late. I called ahead from 65th street at 7:50pm to say I was stuck in traffic and would be a few minutes late.

As soon as I got there I was put to work. I don't mind barking... but nothing was going right. I usually just try to do crowd work with the people... I joke with them and when I have done it in the past down in the Village I am fairly good at it. First let me say that even at 8pm it was still Friggin hot out. I thought I would get parking closer to the club so that I could leave my 200 lb pocketbook in the trunk of my car. This was my first mistake. I wanted my bag so I brought it with me. It also looked like rain so I carried an umbrella. A shitty street merchant pop up kind that the handle all of a sudden wouldn't retract.

I start to bark on the corner and just as I begin a Ice cream truck parks itself on the corner in front of me. He is going to be there for an hour with his engine on. So its diesel fumes for me. I'm an exhausted from my long drive in and I need to pee. Not only do I need to bark but they have there own special way of doing it. Basically you shout out the names of a few of the comics and then say there credits. Non stop. This is not how I am used to doing it but the woman in charge of me is with me and I have to do it her way. I am a team player and if I accept your terms I stick to them. I am exhausted. Why I have on sandals with a heal is just pure stupidity. I am thirsty because I haven't had a thing to drink since 4 pm. Fortunately the ice cream guy besides exhaust has bottled water. I ask to take a bathroom break go inside for a second and then wash my face. My pocketbook had dug a huge gash into my shoulder. Im too Friggin old for this. Why am I doing this. Do I need this. I am never going to make it in this business anyway.... why??

I go back out. I go on the far corner. Danny Mc D. is out on the corner nearest to the club. He is barking his ass off. Mind you does he need to do this. Not really. Sure he wants to make money. But he could ask any other comic inside to give a hand.....but he does it. I'm impressed. It is now 10pm I have been at it for a few minutes short of my 2 hours. Danny is still on his corner. The women in charge is working her tail off. I have never ever seen people working harder at barking in my life. It is now 10:20 and I am totally out of steam. I need a cigarette and I need to sit down. I nicely ask how much longer....because I haven't stopped all day and I'm exhausted. I even gave a thought as to asking if I could perform another night and get my barking as a on a gift certificate. I thought again and knew it was a really bad idea....not the best first impression.

I went into the club I looked at the room to see if any of the people I barked had showed up. I recognized a few. I was too tired to remember. As I went back to the bar to sit down I looked longingly at all the comedians who didn't have to bark. They were invited to come to the party as they were. I want to be one of these people. More than anything. I know we have to put our dues in...... But fuck I'm an old lady here. I just want to lay down and go to bed. I thought I had stamina. The Mc who was very sweet told me that I was to go on next. I am not ready. Perform who can perform....do I do comedy??? What set should I do? What is my set? I ask If I can have 10 minutes to sit and rest that I really need to cool off in the air conditioning and get myself back. I get a drink of water. Think of my set. I look for a place near the stage to stash my purse. Let me say.... I hate my purse. I hate the need to drag around that albatross...all night. What did I need it for.

The Mc introduces me and I come up to the stage. I look like shit I feel even worse. Thank god for adrenaline. I do my first joke and they laugh.... it is smooth sailing all the way through. The set went very well. I get off the stage and the other comics are very receptive and I detected a bit surprised that I did as well. A few comics that I know from other clubs who know me but never saw me perform before told me that I did really well....they liked my stuff. It is nice to earn the respect of your (one day I hope to be) peers. I felt very proud yet all I wanted to do is crawl home and into my bed and maybe have something to eat. The last meal I had eaten was at noon.

I go over to Danny McD. and thank him for the spot. He is very nice and thanks me for helping out. He tells me that he didn't see my set but has been told that I did a great job. I walk the half mile to my car......its all up fucking hill. There are scary men on the up the street and I think about hailing a cab to go 2 blocks. I just put on my crazy face....and put my keys in my fingers like brass knuckles hold my shitty umbrella in my other hand and walk. Who wants to rape an overweight housewife anyway...... There's a cute Spanish girl with a nice but walking her dog on the other side of the street.... I calculate who is more vulnerable. Its a tie. Dog plus hot girl or middle aged mommy without a dog. I get into my car lock all 5 doors with a press of a button and pull onto Columbus Ave. I decide to take 57th street to West End Ave to the Lincoln tunnel. The traffic isn't to bad at 11:00 ... I get to the Jersey side and its a parking lot. They closed the East extension of the Tpk and we all have take a detour onto Route 3 to the west extension of the Tpk. Fuck!

I got home almost at 1 AM. Was it worth it??? If one day and one day soon I pray.... I can be one of the comics who just puts in her avails and gets a spot without barking it will be. It isn't an ego thing. Its a god my feet are killing me and I need to pee thing.

Comments are below
No....but reading about was "worth it"
Posted on 06/13/2005 at 12:54 AM by Michael Hayne

In all that is holy, I'm buying you a lighter purse. I can only hope that you like "Cucci", because that's unfortunately all I can afford at the present moment. Really though, I'm so sorry things went absurdly chaotic for you, Robin. Although I'm glad to read the show went well despite everything else. Would have this happened to have been RB's West Side??



That's the biz....
Posted on 06/14/2005 at 09:43 AM by Lisa Harmon

I feel the same as you do Robin. Some nights are pure torture! It would be nice to not have to bark or for cyring out loud, a place to put our purses! It doesn't seem like a lot to ask but in a male-dominated world purses don't figure in. The only reward is that you had a great set and you know how hard you worked and have a sense of committment and accomplishment. When I'm done with a night of barking and I'm riding that lousy subway home, I'm beat but I know I worked my ass off for that six minutes on stage and that's what separates me from a lot of other people that aren't dedicated. It just means you understand how difficult stage time is to get. Maybe we should ask for a place to put our purses. Seriously, that sh*t is heavy!



I did it the night after you....
Posted on 06/14/2005 at 01:34 PM by Chris McDevitt

Same Deal, I was much later and barked much later. Goddamn that place gets creepy after like 10:30pm. I was the only one on the street NOT asking for money.

Craig Gass was fun. His Walken sounds like Reverend Jim though. Barking isn't bad, just pray the comic you're barking for has an easily pronounceable last name.