Happy New Year...everyone. So its 2005 we are half way through this decade and I still don't know what the official name for this decade is. The 70's,80's,90's.....and what are we calling this. The digits??? Florida was a disaster of a getaway. See previous blog. It only got worse on the flight home. It had been shitty weather the entire week and the day of our departure the sun came out in just the nic of time to say fuck you. We were almost in a car accident going to the airport avoiding a woman putting on lipstick while she was driving who swerved into our lane. The car return took us 4 rides around the airport to find... Then when we went to the gate the area to sit at was packed all the seats were taken. Well not really. A woman in her 30's was sitting with 3 chairs holding her crap on the right side of her. I had gotten sick with a respiratory infection and had to sit. I had a fever and was dizzy. My husband went to buy a newspaper. My kids stood by me I looked over and asked the woman if she could move her stuff off the chairs so my family could sit together. This bitch couldn't even look up from her LUCKY magazine. I stood there fantasizing....... of coughing all over her. Then she would tell me I was rude and then Id tell her she was a selfish bitch and I'd shove her crap on the floor. Then she'd tell me to pick it up and Id say who's gonna make me bitch and she'd take a swing at me and Id beat her to a pulp hitting her with her fake Louis Vitton hand bag. A crowd would form ( men love cat fights) and I would be sitting on her saying how's your hearing now bitch. But as we know I'm a woose. I let out a small cough hoping she'd catch my cold....and put a lozenge in my mouth. My Husband walked over to us and in one move he shoved her crap over to her and sat down. I love him. They called her rows and she surprisingly hear that. She was some first class piece of trash......air miles I'm sure.
We boarded the plane. Im old enough to remember when flying was glamourous............no friggin more. I sat next to my teenage daughter..and a Spanish woman who was eating smelly hard boiled eggs and a man across from me on the isle was eating a a tuna fish sandwich with onions. In front of me I had a 3 year old who stood up and looked and pointed at me the entire flight or so it seemed. I had a screaming spoiled 2 year old girl behind me and a new born diagonally across. I was in airplane prison. The 3 yr old reclines his seat. I asked his mom if it was necessary and she said its his seat "deal with it". When it was all over...and we arrived safely.....My coat was wet from some juice box that opened in one of the peoples bag in the over head compartment. It took us an hour and a half to get our luggage.
Lessons learned. I will not go on vacation with my kids and share a room. I will stay at the Bates Motel first if it means me having a private room with my husband. Next...Florida is a crap shoot only go there if you want to stay till you die....then you might have good weather. Finally bring drugs on board to go to sleep....or go greyhound.
It took me 3 days to do all the laundry...no one put back thier clean clothing ...it all went in the wash. I need to go on a vacation...from my vacation.
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