Posted on 09/27/2004 at 11:00 AM
Seldom do I get excited about a new reality show....since most of them are crap. Often, after I watch one... I feel dirty and cheap. Wife Swap had a sneak peak Tonight on ABC. On the show, they will switch 2 wives and their lives for 2 weeks. Oprah had on a preview of the show and at least the first installment looks amazing. Oprahs show featured a set of moms trading their lives.This Weds.is the Premire on this episode One wife is a NY Socialite Millionaires and the other a School Bus driving Mom from rural NJ. The NY Mom...should we call her that? She seems like a women with offspring and has outsourced every detail of their lives. If she could have gotten around it ....she would have not gone to the trouble of giving birth. Shes got 3 nannies a full time maid and driver. She is so busy doing nothing that it is exhausting to watch her. The other Mom gets up at dawn and works chopping wood for 3 hours every morning. Then does all the work around the house and drives a school bus twice a day. I only got to see snippets of the show but Oprah had on the two families and it was great.
Fast forward...its a day later I didnt get to finish this blog.(see I FEEL NAKED Post) I watched the sneak peak tonight. They took an anal retentive, ocd nut job and switched her with a sloppy 12 pets and shit all over the house....wife. I loved it. It was like the World Wrestling federation for me. No one knows what your life is like till they walk in your shoes. They featured VERY polar opposite women and families. Perhaps the lesson learned is that...when your so extremely polarized to one side the only way to find you way to the middle is to go all the way to the other extreme and then you can more clearly find your way to the middle road. The children and husbands reactions to the new wives are so much fun to watch . Maybe they just found a Reality show that caters to my niche
I find this show interesting...because usually moms are judged often by externals...the home, the kids and how they turn out, if your floors shine.....all that crap. This show explores how the home we make and the relationships we build are really what being a wife and Mom are all about.
My husband made an interesting comment..He asked whats the prize?? Money??? What do they get??? There is no prize (or actors to pay.. ABC makes lots of money. huh) So why do they do it?? My husband needs to know. I think the show for these women is an Acknowlegement of some kind. You dont get a pay check as a Full time mom, or an employee of the month parking spot...there are no promotions. Maybe thats it. Or perhaps its just that "15 minutes of fame".... Hey any wives out there wannna switch lives with a standup comic and her nutty bunch???? Oh and I forgot the other question my husband asked...Does the husband get to do her????? "no"
Monday, September 27, 2004
Saturday, September 25, 2004
I feel naked
UGGGGGGGGGG. Im working on my blog. I do a firsts draft. I cant finish it.... So I deactivated it so I can come back in a few hours and edit it. At least thats what I thought I did. Several hours later to my horror.... I go to the blog page and there it is with a gazilllllllion typos, spelling errors.....and incomplete.. My secrets are out. I failed typing...(not keyboarding as it is called now) I am spell check dependant and I am easily distracted..A.D.D. (formerly known as stupid).
Friday, September 24, 2004
TAKING THE DOG OUT.
I am the kind of comic who is either too new at this, afraid, or untalented to just hop on stage for a regular show and do new untested material. Each new joke must audition for room in my line up. HEY... You new kids farting in my car Joke... Where do you think your going? We dont have room for you here at a real show. Go to a half dozen open mics and see me when youve gotten some laughs... then will see about putting you up...will talk.
Not a bad policy, So I go to the open mics and take out the new stuff. Unless the new joke gets a huge response...I seldom give the joke a chance in my core set. FAST FOWARD... I am in good room ...the crowd is hot... I get up on stage and instead of adding a new joke or two... I "Take the dog for a walk." That meaning, I just do my standard set. I have to tell you, That everytime I do this..I hate myself. I can have people tell me how good I was on stage and Im thinking..."Wimp. How are you ever going to get better if you do the same stuff over and over." Its going for the safe bet. I gotta kill so I can get booked again. Its hoping that, if I do well... Ill be offered longer sets and more stage time. I dont want risk a new set, because what Im looking for is more important than an artistic risk. I guess its just part of the place I now if find myself,in comedy.
Most disturbing is when I get to an open mic, where there for some freak of nature is a good audience... Out of some sickness I will waste the entire set and not do my new jokes. Sometimes I do it out of laziness. I hate myself for doing it out of a need to show off. To have to kill in a room desigened...to be a safe place to bomb. My ego refuses to let me risk bombing. I think this is the core fear all together. This is the reason I make new jokes audition...and do the safe and sure thing. Im not willing to bomb at the cost of getting better. This must stop. I dont want to be a comic who 5 years from now is doing the same set. I am going to stop this....it cant go on... Im waisting time. Hopefully you can come see me bomb at an open mic near you. Im done ...Now I got a write that fart joke..I was just useing it metophoricaly.
Comments are below
A win is a win
Posted on 09/24/2004 at 08:18 PM by Mark Moseley
I know what you mean about showing up at an open mic, ready to do new untested jokes, and finding an 'audience'. I do the same thing. I do time-tested material. But don't look at it as wimping out. I see it as a chance to do my best to entertain people who SEEK TO BE ENTERTAINED. It doesn't matter if its just comics. They didn't come to the spot for you to make them laugh. They came to try new stuff. But you instincts are right, and real. Its proof, I think, that you are a BORN entertainer. You see a real audience, and your mind goes into 'Its Showtime!' mode. Not a damn thing wrong with that.
Posted on 09/25/2004 at 08:52 PM by Shaun Eli
Nothing wrong with trying new material in front of a paying audience, though I've learned that it's risky to open or close with it.
As far as wanting to get better, you can get better doing the same jokes. It's practice telling them over and over, learning what to emphasize, how to work them, how much to pause...
Not a bad policy, So I go to the open mics and take out the new stuff. Unless the new joke gets a huge response...I seldom give the joke a chance in my core set. FAST FOWARD... I am in good room ...the crowd is hot... I get up on stage and instead of adding a new joke or two... I "Take the dog for a walk." That meaning, I just do my standard set. I have to tell you, That everytime I do this..I hate myself. I can have people tell me how good I was on stage and Im thinking..."Wimp. How are you ever going to get better if you do the same stuff over and over." Its going for the safe bet. I gotta kill so I can get booked again. Its hoping that, if I do well... Ill be offered longer sets and more stage time. I dont want risk a new set, because what Im looking for is more important than an artistic risk. I guess its just part of the place I now if find myself,in comedy.
Most disturbing is when I get to an open mic, where there for some freak of nature is a good audience... Out of some sickness I will waste the entire set and not do my new jokes. Sometimes I do it out of laziness. I hate myself for doing it out of a need to show off. To have to kill in a room desigened...to be a safe place to bomb. My ego refuses to let me risk bombing. I think this is the core fear all together. This is the reason I make new jokes audition...and do the safe and sure thing. Im not willing to bomb at the cost of getting better. This must stop. I dont want to be a comic who 5 years from now is doing the same set. I am going to stop this....it cant go on... Im waisting time. Hopefully you can come see me bomb at an open mic near you. Im done ...Now I got a write that fart joke..I was just useing it metophoricaly.
Comments are below
A win is a win
Posted on 09/24/2004 at 08:18 PM by Mark Moseley
I know what you mean about showing up at an open mic, ready to do new untested jokes, and finding an 'audience'. I do the same thing. I do time-tested material. But don't look at it as wimping out. I see it as a chance to do my best to entertain people who SEEK TO BE ENTERTAINED. It doesn't matter if its just comics. They didn't come to the spot for you to make them laugh. They came to try new stuff. But you instincts are right, and real. Its proof, I think, that you are a BORN entertainer. You see a real audience, and your mind goes into 'Its Showtime!' mode. Not a damn thing wrong with that.
Posted on 09/25/2004 at 08:52 PM by Shaun Eli
Nothing wrong with trying new material in front of a paying audience, though I've learned that it's risky to open or close with it.
As far as wanting to get better, you can get better doing the same jokes. It's practice telling them over and over, learning what to emphasize, how to work them, how much to pause...
Thursday, September 23, 2004
Thanks Dr. Phil
.... Look at me, I am a walking cliché....Sometimes I act like a typical Housewife. I will confess that I like Dr. Phil. Dont Judge me! What cliche are you?? I like the Big Know All.. As a comic I thrive on burning the harsh light of the truth on subjects that society and individuals like to lie about or deny. Today, Dr. Phil had on a bunch of dumb ass parents who cant get their kids to go to bed, eat the food served to them, and get this ......change out of their pajamas. These morons let there 3 and 5 yr. olds walk around in PJs all day long.... Even go to a daytime birthday party!! I have met too many of these kind of parents. They negotiate with their kids everything. "Tiffany & Brandon, when do you think you might want to go to bed"? "Brandon, if you don't stop holding your sisters head in the toilet Mommy is going to have to give you time out." I hate these parents and I hate the crummy, future jerks of America they are raising.
DR Phil's show is like an antidote for me....From all the shows like Jerry Springer, Moray Povich and Ricky Lake. Im sick of insane people parading around as if they are normal. I realize I sound like a conservative...uptight hard ass..Trust me on this one, Im Not. I just cant stand parents who think that they should be their kids best friend. Or their kids should like them. Dont these idiot parents know that it is HEALTHY at some point in your life to hate your parents... I didn't want my Mom to be my best friend.....I wanted a Mom. It is a joy for me, to see Dr. Phil telling these goof ball, permissive, no backbone, whimps that they are being lousy parents in the name of love.That they are doing a disservice to these kids and that love is doing what is best for the child even if the child doesnt agree. THANK-YOU THANK-YOU DR.PHIL Best of all he said it to their faces. When I do my act.....I can only pray that someone hears me and the truth I speak. The best thing about doing stand up is having the outlet to say.... This is insane...heres why....and see Im right! A while back I had someone do something really sick in front of me........ I told her she was nuts......she didn't agree. The next best thing to getting her to go on Dr. Phil was to talk about it on stage and get a room of people agree with me. .....oh yeah....and laugh.
DR Phil's show is like an antidote for me....From all the shows like Jerry Springer, Moray Povich and Ricky Lake. Im sick of insane people parading around as if they are normal. I realize I sound like a conservative...uptight hard ass..Trust me on this one, Im Not. I just cant stand parents who think that they should be their kids best friend. Or their kids should like them. Dont these idiot parents know that it is HEALTHY at some point in your life to hate your parents... I didn't want my Mom to be my best friend.....I wanted a Mom. It is a joy for me, to see Dr. Phil telling these goof ball, permissive, no backbone, whimps that they are being lousy parents in the name of love.That they are doing a disservice to these kids and that love is doing what is best for the child even if the child doesnt agree. THANK-YOU THANK-YOU DR.PHIL Best of all he said it to their faces. When I do my act.....I can only pray that someone hears me and the truth I speak. The best thing about doing stand up is having the outlet to say.... This is insane...heres why....and see Im right! A while back I had someone do something really sick in front of me........ I told her she was nuts......she didn't agree. The next best thing to getting her to go on Dr. Phil was to talk about it on stage and get a room of people agree with me. .....oh yeah....and laugh.
Monday, September 20, 2004
And the winner is...............
There are times that define you. There are times that your actions spell out so clearly that things have changed and that you are no longer the same person. Tonight was one of those defining experiences. The Emmy Awards were on and I who am a complete Award Show Junkie...couldnt care less. I had a set to go do in NYC. I didnt even listen to the live audio feed that I could get in my car. I had to listen to the news station for traffic on the 8s. I was going to take the Holland tunnel via the Turnpike.. no NEWS88 says 45 minute delays...quick I dart on to route 1&9. I switch over to 1010WINS traffic on the 10s.... Shit 1&9 half hour delays. I see an exit for Tunpike North get off cross my fingers...Yes only a 5 minute delay at the Lincoln. Im in the tunnel in a flash. No traffic Mid town?? Lucky!!! Find a parking spot in two seconds...WOW.. Run into the club...great crowd..drunk and roudy..Just like I like um. Had a good set with 2 new jokes that went well. Handle a guy whos talking...He asks me to repeat a joke just for him, he was talking. I say somthing like come back next week Ill do the same set. Shut him up and finish strong. Id like to thank, my car,1010WINS,the nice folks at NEWS88, My EZ pass, Nicortee gum, and the lovely people at the club tonight....oh yes.... It is much better being the leading charecter in my own life. I'll watch E tommorow and see what I missed.
Friday, September 17, 2004
On call
Like in all jobs some days are harder than others. Today I was in all major modes: Mommy, daughter, chef, maid, laundress, chauferr, Jew, sex kitten, and comedian. Holidays are a bitch. One of the perks of being a stay at home Mom is you dont have to dress up till evenings usually. I hate putting on panty hose before 5. But as a good mom setting an example I had dress up and go to services. Due to terrorism threats other than the handicapped you cant park in the main lot. I found a space about a half a mile away and walked in high heels to the High Holidays. We got there just in time for the aerobic portion of the service. Up down Up down turn sit stand stand sit. Feh. I decided to go out to the lobby for a short break. I hit an all time "your just like the movie Punchline record (see earlier blog-Arent you Sally Field) In less than 2 hours I got 4 people ask me If I saw the movie or recommend it to me. I thought the movie was a flop...now it seems the entire friggin world has seen it.
After thanking G-d for all the good in my life I went home to 2 hours of cleaning and setting up for dinner. I also had to go to the store for last minute supplies for dinner. Company came a 5pm dinner at 5:30. I am the only adult female in my family so I play host and the part of Alice from the Brady Bunch. How nice would it be to have someone like Alice to serve the meal and clean up after. I wouldnt even mind doing the cooking.
My dad and mom are always a challenge, My mother is telling this sad story of this women's terrible misfortune, she is welling up almost crying as she relates the story...."she was abused and homeless"...only to find out it wasnt anyone she knew but someone she heard while listening to talk radio. My dad of course irritated my husband by asking why and when this and that around our house was going to be repaired or repalced....this is always a sure way to annoy my husband and after 21 years I am convinced it is on porpose.
I can never get mad at my children when my parents are around. They always think that we are wrong and that their grandchildren can do no wrong. This is great for them but drives me up a wall. Who are these people..when did they get so mellow. I was asked to leave the table if I had my elbows on it...or laughed to loud with my cousins during holidays.
During dinner my parents were arguing about their screen name for thier new computer. My mother whos name is Alice says Marty..How can you forget our screen name its Alice in wonderland. I make coffee, run upstairs for my 3rd wordrobe change of the day to go into the city to do a 10pm show. Parents leave, I leave for the quietest time of my day driving 50 minutes into NYC. Im in the club in under an hour a new record door to door. The room is light, I bark for an hour (see woof woof blog) feet are killing me. I get on stage at 11:20 and have a good set, I even venture doing some stage work with the room. I leave...and am home by 12:40 I start this blog and lost half of it while spell checking it.......ugggggg. I decide to finish it in the morning. Its 11pm the next day and it took me an entire day to recover from the day before. Oh and I forgot just as I was leaving the club last night a comic runs up to me and says "Hey Robin..You gotta see this movie....its with Sally Fields and Tom Hanks... the record stands at 5 Punchline references in one day. It was a hectic day and yet the best part was getting up on stage....Something is strage about that to me. I think after years of doing what ever just came up next for so many others...Im living a part of myself that is for myself. The creative, the performance and the recognition is all for me.
After thanking G-d for all the good in my life I went home to 2 hours of cleaning and setting up for dinner. I also had to go to the store for last minute supplies for dinner. Company came a 5pm dinner at 5:30. I am the only adult female in my family so I play host and the part of Alice from the Brady Bunch. How nice would it be to have someone like Alice to serve the meal and clean up after. I wouldnt even mind doing the cooking.
My dad and mom are always a challenge, My mother is telling this sad story of this women's terrible misfortune, she is welling up almost crying as she relates the story...."she was abused and homeless"...only to find out it wasnt anyone she knew but someone she heard while listening to talk radio. My dad of course irritated my husband by asking why and when this and that around our house was going to be repaired or repalced....this is always a sure way to annoy my husband and after 21 years I am convinced it is on porpose.
I can never get mad at my children when my parents are around. They always think that we are wrong and that their grandchildren can do no wrong. This is great for them but drives me up a wall. Who are these people..when did they get so mellow. I was asked to leave the table if I had my elbows on it...or laughed to loud with my cousins during holidays.
During dinner my parents were arguing about their screen name for thier new computer. My mother whos name is Alice says Marty..How can you forget our screen name its Alice in wonderland. I make coffee, run upstairs for my 3rd wordrobe change of the day to go into the city to do a 10pm show. Parents leave, I leave for the quietest time of my day driving 50 minutes into NYC. Im in the club in under an hour a new record door to door. The room is light, I bark for an hour (see woof woof blog) feet are killing me. I get on stage at 11:20 and have a good set, I even venture doing some stage work with the room. I leave...and am home by 12:40 I start this blog and lost half of it while spell checking it.......ugggggg. I decide to finish it in the morning. Its 11pm the next day and it took me an entire day to recover from the day before. Oh and I forgot just as I was leaving the club last night a comic runs up to me and says "Hey Robin..You gotta see this movie....its with Sally Fields and Tom Hanks... the record stands at 5 Punchline references in one day. It was a hectic day and yet the best part was getting up on stage....Something is strage about that to me. I think after years of doing what ever just came up next for so many others...Im living a part of myself that is for myself. The creative, the performance and the recognition is all for me.
Tuesday, September 14, 2004
Poooooooof
Laying in bed the other night I stared to think, hey thats funny, I could use this in a bit. I should write it down...no let me think a little more about it. Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz. Im in the car rattling my brains what was it, what was the bit. Its melted and vaporized never to be remembered. What if it was my break through bit.
The same thing happens at dinner parties and long drives in the car. I have a recorder and a marble notebook. Either I cant get to a pen or my recorder is out of batteries or the thought just runs out of my head before I can even think to document it. I am not the kind of writer who can sit and write a joke. They come from inspirations and connections I make in my day to day life. I swear to myself each time that I will be more diligent and not let this happen again ... till it does. Pooooooooooooooof comedy vapor is heart breaking. To console myself I think...If it was any good I would have remembered it.
The same thing happens at dinner parties and long drives in the car. I have a recorder and a marble notebook. Either I cant get to a pen or my recorder is out of batteries or the thought just runs out of my head before I can even think to document it. I am not the kind of writer who can sit and write a joke. They come from inspirations and connections I make in my day to day life. I swear to myself each time that I will be more diligent and not let this happen again ... till it does. Pooooooooooooooof comedy vapor is heart breaking. To console myself I think...If it was any good I would have remembered it.
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